I'm back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Yokohama, Japan
Posts: 487
I'm back
Hello all,
I'm not sure if anyone will remember me or not. I relapsed in a major way and eventually ended up going into an alcohol treatment center for 3 weeks. i just got out two days ago. I actually feel good physically and emotionally. My girlfriend stuck with me and supported me to the point that I will propose to her next week on her birthday (she knows it's coming, so I don't have to worry about any rejection blues leading me toward the bottle).
I'm on antabuse and just dealing with life as it comes. I don't feel great about my history, but I don't feel ashamed. I'm just trying to get through as best I can.
Part of my recovery is coming back here and posting regularly to keep me centered and thoughtful about, well, my recovery. I know there is great support here and I appreciate everyone's help in the past, as I will in the future.
I hope everyone else is doing well too.
BMUS
I'm not sure if anyone will remember me or not. I relapsed in a major way and eventually ended up going into an alcohol treatment center for 3 weeks. i just got out two days ago. I actually feel good physically and emotionally. My girlfriend stuck with me and supported me to the point that I will propose to her next week on her birthday (she knows it's coming, so I don't have to worry about any rejection blues leading me toward the bottle).
I'm on antabuse and just dealing with life as it comes. I don't feel great about my history, but I don't feel ashamed. I'm just trying to get through as best I can.
Part of my recovery is coming back here and posting regularly to keep me centered and thoughtful about, well, my recovery. I know there is great support here and I appreciate everyone's help in the past, as I will in the future.
I hope everyone else is doing well too.
BMUS
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Hi Scotty, good to see you back. 
The past is gone, we just have today. I know you know that.
I was thinking recently about my last relapse (about a month ago) and realised I have a hard time forgiving myself, I think it is my ego that makes it hard, kind of a pride thing....it sort of turned the whole way I looked at it on it's head.
Anyway, good luck and congrats on the upcoming nuptials!
The past is gone, we just have today. I know you know that.
I was thinking recently about my last relapse (about a month ago) and realised I have a hard time forgiving myself, I think it is my ego that makes it hard, kind of a pride thing....it sort of turned the whole way I looked at it on it's head.
Anyway, good luck and congrats on the upcoming nuptials!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
Of course you'll be remembered! It's wonderful you made your way back here, you always had helpful things to say. Congratulations on your (almost) engagement. A whole new life begins for you.
Shame is one of those nearly useless emotions that keeps us from making progress. I was very good at staying stuck on guilt & remorse to the extent that I was frozen in time. I stayed that way until I came to SR and found I was not alone with my thoughts and fears. It's good to have you back BMUS.
Shame is one of those nearly useless emotions that keeps us from making progress. I was very good at staying stuck on guilt & remorse to the extent that I was frozen in time. I stayed that way until I came to SR and found I was not alone with my thoughts and fears. It's good to have you back BMUS.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
I'm hearing Rusty on the "expectations", Scotty, I don't doubt that you want to do this but I HAVE to get this out there and believe me, it's not for me, it's for you.
While I'm happy for you that your girlfriend is supporting you, why get married? You just got out of treatment.
I spent quite a while in treatment, I've been sober for almost two years. Go look at my picture on my profile, I'm not a bad looking girl at all. I DO NOT have a boyfriend NOR do I want a relationship right now. I still have a lot of things to work out, work through and work on before I throw a relationship into the loop.
The expectations thing, you said that you don't have to worry about your girlfriend saying "no" to your proposal and then you say "so I don't have to worry about any rejection blues leading me toward the bottle". If she said no, would you pick up??
I also sponsor Scotty and while I don't doubt for a second that there isn't one person on this board that doesn't want to see you succeed, as a "sponsor" I want to "suggest" that you do some more work on yourself before taking such a large step. I would NEVER ok my sponsee doing this to herself. I want to see her succeed then reap all the benefits of a great life after she does the work.
You may prove us all wrong, it could work and you'll be sober longer than the rest of us however, what I'm trying to tell you is give yourself a chance. Let your girlfriend off the hook, get a sponsor, work the steps and no matter what, no matter what (even when there are "NO"s in your life), DON'T PICK UP!!!!
Very glad to see you back here.
While I'm happy for you that your girlfriend is supporting you, why get married? You just got out of treatment.
I spent quite a while in treatment, I've been sober for almost two years. Go look at my picture on my profile, I'm not a bad looking girl at all. I DO NOT have a boyfriend NOR do I want a relationship right now. I still have a lot of things to work out, work through and work on before I throw a relationship into the loop.
The expectations thing, you said that you don't have to worry about your girlfriend saying "no" to your proposal and then you say "so I don't have to worry about any rejection blues leading me toward the bottle". If she said no, would you pick up??
I also sponsor Scotty and while I don't doubt for a second that there isn't one person on this board that doesn't want to see you succeed, as a "sponsor" I want to "suggest" that you do some more work on yourself before taking such a large step. I would NEVER ok my sponsee doing this to herself. I want to see her succeed then reap all the benefits of a great life after she does the work.
You may prove us all wrong, it could work and you'll be sober longer than the rest of us however, what I'm trying to tell you is give yourself a chance. Let your girlfriend off the hook, get a sponsor, work the steps and no matter what, no matter what (even when there are "NO"s in your life), DON'T PICK UP!!!!
Very glad to see you back here.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,753
Of course I remember you! I'm glad you came back, it's been a long time and we were wondering how you were. Glad you went into treatment and happy for your upcoming marriage. Be good to yourself Scotty! Welcome back!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Hi BMUS,
I remember you from the July thread. Don't know how long it has been but I remember you first meeting your girlfriend (assuming it is the same one). You were really head over heels from the start. Welcome back and you are always welcomed to come over to the July 08 thread. It has been really quiet there. I hope you gained something from the relapse. Good luck and keep posting. This site has been my survival since I do not use AA.
I remember you from the July thread. Don't know how long it has been but I remember you first meeting your girlfriend (assuming it is the same one). You were really head over heels from the start. Welcome back and you are always welcomed to come over to the July 08 thread. It has been really quiet there. I hope you gained something from the relapse. Good luck and keep posting. This site has been my survival since I do not use AA.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Yokohama, Japan
Posts: 487
Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement and concern. To those who were giving me sincere warnings and/or thoughts about my girlfriend and me, I do appreciate where you are coming from. Looking back, I didn't articulate myself well (in a quickly written post on an Internet forum) and I should have taken more time. That said, please know that my girlfriend and I have spoken about this quite a lot and have been very open and honest with each other. This is not a step either of us take lightly, although it is a step we take with great joy looking to the future. Having been married once before, to an alcoholic (I proposed to her while we were both drunk outside a Wafflehouse at about 2 am), I know the value and necessity of entering into marriage in a thoughtful and sober state of mind.
There is much more to it, but I don't want to bore people here with an excessively long post.
Again, thank you to everybody for welcoming me back, like I knew such a great group of people would.
There is much more to it, but I don't want to bore people here with an excessively long post.
Again, thank you to everybody for welcoming me back, like I knew such a great group of people would.
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