Bamboozle

Had a not-so-good mood the last couple of days.

(yes...I'm still sober)

When my depression kicks in, rational thought goes out the window. I say to myself, "I would give up good things about myself simply to be normal."

I thought about that statement a lot today. I realized that's not true.

I wouldn't give up my humor...I wouldn't give up my sensitivity...and I wouldn't give up my creative abilities. These things make up the core of who I am. I am grateful for the people today who gave me some encouragement to help me to believe in myself.



The undesirable things will not change overnight.

I won't lose 60 lbs. in a week.

I won't make friends in a day.

I won't get into a relationship immediately.

As much as this pains me I have to hang on to what I can control at the moment. I'm doing the right things. I'm getting help for my depression. I make myself accountable by going to therapy every time it's scheduled. I'm honest when I'm there.


I always want instant results. I know that's not possible. It's frustrating, but perhaps I'll be better for the wear.

This recovery thing isn’t easy at all. I used to have the impression that the people who “got it” here must have been able to do it naturally. I was wrong. It was easy for me to think that my case was and is different. Everyone here has a unique story to tell, but the trial and error, agony, heartache, hopelessness, sadness, and pain are the same.

Recovering is a full time job…and it’s scary. I have doubts all the time…and oftentimes I want to give up and give in. Things can always get worse, but there’s a fairly good chance that life will get better.

I have a lot to learn about myself and more acceptance to gain. I must be patient and hang tough through the bad times.

least

I have a hard time accepting things I can't change. I get frustrated and worn out. It's hard for me to 'let go'. I too want instant results and am not a patient person. Hard for me to watch someone in difficulty and know I can't do much to help.

Astro

I've been reading the Big Book again lately, I'd put it aside for too long. And while I feel those first 164 pages are very important, the stories are incredible to me this time around. Well, it's sorta like picking up a bible and reading the Old Testament but skipping the New Testament.

I read page 449 last night just before I fell asleep, and it brought it all home for me, these simple words were exactly what I needed to be reminded of.....

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

(Big Book quote from page 449, Alcoholics Anonymous)

vegibean

Acceptance, willingness and learning to let go.......yes, they can and are exhausting. Take the bag and the good. While things may just suck right now, I'm sure you know, they will get better.

Life is a freakin' Roller Coaster.

Iriss

Humour, sensitivity and creativity are all wonderful characteristics, I very often cannot see the good qualities in myself and am constantly striving for perfection, as we all know is impossible. Discovering cognitive behavioural therapy has helped me to not strive for perfection, slowly I am learning to manage my emotions and change my negative thought patterns... You may already be familiar with it, if not there are so many books and they have really helped my and given me insight. Hope your mood lifts soon x x

Believe808

I love the Acceptance prayer, I have printed it on a business card and laminated it and always carry it with me. I just posted it yesterday in LIS thread. My favorite part of it is "Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake." Those words really help me when my head is not where it should be.

jade09

Life seems to be a never ending disappointment---I too struggle with this unrealistic reality of everything for me and everyone I care for to be "ok"---everything will never always be ok, just trying to do the best I can with what I have. Being sober helps!! I feel as long as I am doing my best and trying to be a good person and live a good life, it makes all the unhappy parts a little easier to deal with???

"All you've got is all you can give and that will always be enough"
~Sarah Mueller

This thought has helped me get through situations in my life that saddened me, depressed me--but that I could really not do much to fix anything. Life's hard....do the best ya can

Gypsy Feet

((((bam)))))

I love the new journey we are on. I love it because it is giving us ideas like you just posted to get through the tough times, rather than just drinking them blank. And I love this journey because it has introduced me to people like you Bam, who make my world a better place.

Zencat

When I read your post Bam...I too find encouragement...encouragement to continue through the thick and thin of addiction treatment. Blessed be in your recovery/discovery journey.

Aysha

Great post Bam.
Acceptance is real hard sometimes.
I am an instant gratificaiton junky myself.
And some people do make it look so easy.
But when you hear them tell it. It really changes that percpective.
Your doing really good Bam. And this post proves how far you have come.
I am proud of you. And never lose any of that stuff. Cause I love it too.
HUGS

sfgirl

Bam— it sounds to me like you are in a really good place in recovery. It might not be a necessarily fun place yet but you are realizing so many important and difficult things and staying sober through them.

Yep, and I think it is an addict's mentality to want them to and to try everything but simple patience and perseverence to make things change. I know that was me and in recovery I have to continually remind myself that things don't come instantly and I need to slow down. But what I have learned is that long lasting change, change that endures takes awhile so while I totally understand wanting the amazing relationship to appear tomorrow. The thing is that the illusion of that could happen but it probably would disappear just as quickly. When you take the time to work through recovery and work on yourself then an actual lasting perfect relationship will appear when you are really ready.

Totally. It totally will get better but there are some hard times. For me the hard times lasted about six months but I think timing is different for everyone. I still don't feel amazing but now I feel solid to be sober. Learning to bear not feeling that great is one of the best skills I think you can learn in recovery as long as you keep working positively on yourself. You sound like a lot of things are clicking to me Bam. Good luck!!