Hevyn

Probably not, effort! All my friends/family manage to stick to one or two drinks, even on the holidays. No one but me ever drank to get wasted. I once found that so annoying - like why bother drinking at all if you're not going to get buzzed? Now I see how crazy that thinking was.

Dee74

I have no idea, effortjoy. Once I would have sworn yes, of course they did. Now, like Joanie, I doubt it.

As a reference point, I do know that USA guidelines on moderate drinking suggest

That's a whole lot less than your one bottle at one sitting EJ.

I don't mean to be seen as targeting you but everytime you post, I see things I used to say or think and they spring up out of the screen at me....and you still seem unsure, so I'll play devils advocate.

This is such a red flag, effortjoy -

For me, its not so much how much someone drinks, or how often, cos that varies so much from person to person- for me, its whether they drink til they drop and why they drink - and your reason is a doozy, EJ.

If drinking makes life 'normal', will one bottle on a Friday night be enough?

You used to drink only on weekends?
so....what happened?
How are you going to make sure that doesn't happen again?

D

hopeful999

Hey effortjoy, after hearing that you were NOT able to moderate your drinking on vacation, I will change my stance on this and say you should NOT continue drinking. It doesn't sound healthy at all, even drinking a bottle of wine in one sitting once a week. When I was talking about moderating I was thinking 1-2 drinks in one night over the weekend. If you can't do that, I would say it's a bad idea.

I actually don't think most people get drunk once a week. I see alcohol everyone --- it's all over the place at events I go to. Heck, it's what adults do for fun. But I do believe that most people don't drink to get drunk.

Keep thinking through this and let us know how things go.

keithj

What most people do really has nothing to do with it. The BB talks about how we see others drinking with impunity. Non-alcoholics may or may not get drunk once a week. For them, getting drunk now and then or even frequently is not a problem. They can get drunk or not get drunk when they want to. The can have a couple to chill out.

"We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." AA Big Book, Ch4, 1st Ed.

I have absolutely no interest in convincing you on which side of the line you fall. But I also know that my own delusions run deep. Yours may as well. If you can control your drinking, then why not have a few? Drink when you want and have only as much as you want. Simple.

But not so simple if you're like me. I tried to drink on weekends only. I tried to only have two every night. I tried a hundred different forms of controlling my drinking. None of it worked. Within short time, I was back to drinking around the clock.

I think you're hearing a consistent message that moderation does not work if you are an alcoholic. I can't think of a single example where it has. The alcoholics I know that try moderating always end up in the same place they started from.

CarolD

Hi effortjoy......

From your shares I don't think you are ready to quit drinking.
That's certainly up to you....you were alcohol
free long enough to choose.
All my best ..

smynthia

I went out last night with my husband for his birthday. We went out to dinner and then to a spot with music/coffeehouse/bar. My husband ordered a beer and I had an Italian soda. We settled into some arm chairs and talked.

I thought to myself, what if I ordered a beer? Could I handle it? and my honest response was, tonight, probably, yeah. I could probably start drinking tonight and stop myself before I became a wreck. BUT>>>
I know that I would be having a constant conversation in my head all night about the next drink, if, how, when, how much is too much. And then the insanity would start all over again. And there would be no guarantee that the next time I picked up, that I wouldn't get smashed like I did in the past.
There is no success for me in moderation, because I judge it by the quality of how it affects myself and others. If I had a beer last night, I would not have have the real conversation with my husband that I had, not the enjoyable game of backgammon that we played together, or most importantly, the peace and confidence that I feel this morning.

I have been a high functioning alcoholic. I never really hit a huge bottom in my personal life, as far as some people's story goes. But I do know that if I decide to drink, that bottom is there waiting for me.

Hevyn

Smynthia, that's such a good point. Just because we may be able to moderate on one occasion doesn't mean it'll be that way every time. I once quit for 3 yrs. & started up again. I had never bought the fact that I'd have to go through life without alcohol. I attended a reception and only had two drinks. I thought I was cured of ever getting drunk again - I could trust myself to use willpower - yay! That was the one & only day I was able to control it. All future attempts at using willpower were futile - I was off and running again. This time it was for years.

freeflyin

when I drink I cant tell for sure when I will stop, and many times there is no telling what will happen.

russian roulete

FF

keithj

I've said it before on this forum. The worst possible consequence for an alcoholic who drinks again is nothing. Leaving alone the physical craving that starts right back up, 'getting away with it' starts all that mental trickery that is a hallmark of my alcoholism.

bjork

Well said!