I had a bad day
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 184
I had a bad day
Some of you may know that I haven't had a drink in 6 months, but I have been on narcotics for almost that long. I am an addict. I am addicted to my pain medication (i'm saying this more for my benefit). I developed a pretty good tolerance to them and then didn't have any for 4 days while the rx switched doctors - now, I do have an actual medical reason to take them so I was in hell's basement (pain + withdrawal). RX was written for a much lower dose than I had been taking - which was a good thing and a bad thing. Not enough to control the pain, but less ability to abuse. But I do anyway. My tolerance is heading back up and I'm doing anything I can to try to get high, this doesn't get me 'high' but it must do something to make me WANT it- I hate myself for this- i don't know why I keep trying. I've gone so far as to set up a connection for oxys. <br>Anyway I met with a new pain clinic today who doesn't trust drunks with pills (good on ya) but would provide me the patch. I left there shaking and almost in tears. I can't go back there, I would get myself in so much trouble the minute I got that patch.<br>
I'm trying not to give in to that possibility. I am in a panic, I feel like I'm spinning out of control.<br>
I need to get off these narcotics! I am scared out of my mind. I'm afraid to talk about it with any of my doctors. I'm afraid of being labeled a junkie, I'm afraid I AM a junkie. I'm afraid that if I stop I will be in agonizing pain (not from the withdrawals, but that chronic pain I have).<br>S***<br>Sorry if this post upsets anyone - please pull it if it does<br>Shea<br>
I'm trying not to give in to that possibility. I am in a panic, I feel like I'm spinning out of control.<br>
I need to get off these narcotics! I am scared out of my mind. I'm afraid to talk about it with any of my doctors. I'm afraid of being labeled a junkie, I'm afraid I AM a junkie. I'm afraid that if I stop I will be in agonizing pain (not from the withdrawals, but that chronic pain I have).<br>S***<br>Sorry if this post upsets anyone - please pull it if it does<br>Shea<br>
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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D
whether you like it or not, the sensible, the rational, and the responsible thing is to see your doctors ASAP.
Pain meds are not meant to make us high or make us want to get high.
Pls - do the right thing by yourself and call your doctors as soon they're open.
Whats happening to you now is far more a concern than anything they might say to you or think about you.
D
whether you like it or not, the sensible, the rational, and the responsible thing is to see your doctors ASAP.
Pain meds are not meant to make us high or make us want to get high.
Pls - do the right thing by yourself and call your doctors as soon they're open.
Whats happening to you now is far more a concern than anything they might say to you or think about you.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Hi Dshea, it is a difficult position to be in...to have a real need for pain meds and to be abusing them.
So there is a patch for the pain med? Can't really abuse that I suppose?
It sounds like you are going to have to come clean with your Doctor, wean from the abusing levels of pain meds and go on the patch for the pain...I realise this is easier said than done.
You are not the first person to take pain meds for legitimate reasons and start to abuse them....I really think the only way forward for you is to be honest with the Doctor. There is no reason to be ashamed.
So there is a patch for the pain med? Can't really abuse that I suppose?
It sounds like you are going to have to come clean with your Doctor, wean from the abusing levels of pain meds and go on the patch for the pain...I realise this is easier said than done.
You are not the first person to take pain meds for legitimate reasons and start to abuse them....I really think the only way forward for you is to be honest with the Doctor. There is no reason to be ashamed.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 184
d - as always you reinforce the logical 'right' thing to do - thank you
nb - thanks for the well wishes.
stone - unfortunately the patch can be easily abused and is extremely potent. that is the reason i am conflicted and panicking. I know i need to stop trying to get high on my pain meds, but i haven't had much success in that area. switching to the patch would escalate to a whole new level of abuse.
i need to stop abusing narcotics but then being offered ones that are even more potent than the very strong one that i take arrrghhhh, run away, run away!
i think i need to make the call on friday
nb - thanks for the well wishes.
stone - unfortunately the patch can be easily abused and is extremely potent. that is the reason i am conflicted and panicking. I know i need to stop trying to get high on my pain meds, but i haven't had much success in that area. switching to the patch would escalate to a whole new level of abuse.
i need to stop abusing narcotics but then being offered ones that are even more potent than the very strong one that i take arrrghhhh, run away, run away!
i think i need to make the call on friday
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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I'd make the call.
Your pain needs are genuine, right? we know that - and you'd be coming to them, making a clean breast of whats starting to happen....
Obviously I can't speak with any authority, but in my experience, I can't see them suspending treatment or withholding help. The focus should be on finding a viable alternative.
You need to stop this cycle.
The best way to do that IMO is to be full and frank with your doctors D.
D
Your pain needs are genuine, right? we know that - and you'd be coming to them, making a clean breast of whats starting to happen....
Obviously I can't speak with any authority, but in my experience, I can't see them suspending treatment or withholding help. The focus should be on finding a viable alternative.
You need to stop this cycle.
The best way to do that IMO is to be full and frank with your doctors D.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 184
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I'd make the call.
Your pain needs are genuine, right? we know that - and you'd be coming to them, making a clean breast of whats starting to happen....
Obviously I can't speak with any authority, but in my experience, I can't see them suspending treatment or withholding help. The focus should be on finding a viable alternative.
You need to stop this cycle.
The best way to do that IMO is to be full and frank with your doctors D.
D
Your pain needs are genuine, right? we know that - and you'd be coming to them, making a clean breast of whats starting to happen....
Obviously I can't speak with any authority, but in my experience, I can't see them suspending treatment or withholding help. The focus should be on finding a viable alternative.
You need to stop this cycle.
The best way to do that IMO is to be full and frank with your doctors D.
D
I'll try to make the call today. Not to my pain guy yet, because he is more than eager to discontinue the narcotic and would no doubt stop prescribing it if he knew what I was doing with it. It was previously prescribed through my primary doc's office and she refuses to have anything further to do with the pain management aspect. I don't speak to her anymore unless absolutely necessary, I'll only speak with the NP, whom I love and trust (mostly). That is why I am so scared to bring this to my docs' attention.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Thanks for responding.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Fears a biggie D. It stops most of us from doing anything for the longest time.
But the fact is, if your PM guy wants you off the narcotic there's a reason - I'm not a doctor so if the reason's not related to whats happening now, then there's two good reasons to do something about this...now.
You're going to have to face this one day. Its entirely up to you when that is - but things like this don't get better, man. I think you know that already.
D
But the fact is, if your PM guy wants you off the narcotic there's a reason - I'm not a doctor so if the reason's not related to whats happening now, then there's two good reasons to do something about this...now.
You're going to have to face this one day. Its entirely up to you when that is - but things like this don't get better, man. I think you know that already.
D
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