happy2balive

Suggested but Dime...I decided to post this question that I asked in chat.

When were you ready to set out into the world after sobriety? started being around people? doing activities?
Did it take you long, or did you bounce right away?

Thanks
Liz

hendershot

Totally varies person to person. For me it was the realization that I didn't enjoy drinking--I no longer got pleasure from it--at least not in the way I used too. This was extremely important because before it was always like "Yeah alcy is ruining my life but I really really like getting drunk." Then it was like "No, wait a minute, not only is it ruining my life, but it isn't any fun." This alone wasn't enough for me quit necessarily but it got the ball rolling into treatment and AA stuff and stand at 8 months now. This realization stuck with me more than any other similar thought about drinking had ever done in the past.

Dee74

I think it's a very individual thing Liz.

I've only just started going back into the world that I left (music) because so much of that world is bound up in drink and drugs - I wanted to wait until I could be sure that all that wasn't, and never will be, an issue for me again.

I think being sure of yourself, and trusting yourself, is the key - however long that takes is however long it takes.

D

NewBeginning010

I was ready to get out & about right away & still am loving it. Its much easier to go out for a bike ride or to play tennis without being a hungover mess.

Now if you are talking about being around booze & people drinking it... well not so much. More for security & peace of mind than anything else right now. Being in a resturaunt & having food while others have a few is not a biggie.

But being at a party where people are getting drunk just inst my thing anymore, I see some of my old self & it brings back embarrassing/scary moments and... well... drunk people suck to talk to when your straight hehe.

My focus in mostly on the inside right now & where I am at, I am finally starting to listen to my true self/spirit & trust in me. I'm still new at this & can be quite uncomfortable at times but I am also starting to enjoy it too.

Thanks for the question, it was good for me to think about.

Take Care,

NB

happy2balive

Thanks Dee74, thats it right there.

I guess with the summer and the invitations, I feel like I'm being anti-social, but when I read that its not anti-social...its my time to grow and heal. I really need this time alone.
You think I would know this stuff...but I need to have the clarity to understand.

Thanks
Liz

nogard

recovery does go in a straight line. I see how I am at any one time and always remember that I am an addict, there is no cure, day by day I live the best I can

CarolD

Hmmm...

I've always been gregarious and enjoyed social interaction.
I was concerned that sobriety would dull my interest.

I jumped right into the AA program....making new friends
who shared my changed lifestyle ...it has been an awesome adventure


If you are talking about being a non drinker with a group of drinkers
I stayed away from those situations for about 6 months.
When I did begin to accept a few invitations from past drinking
companions....I was floored to find how little we had in common.

My alcoholic haze was gone...they were no longer my peers.

Recovery really rocks....

mikel60

Hi happy,

I've been sober for some time now, yet I still can't go back to my old world. Dead-end jobs, decrepit barrooms, and no hope.

I had to create a new world. The wonderful thing is, the world I inhabit now is the real world. A wife, two kids, great job (summer Off!) education, hiking...it's a great way of life.

The old world is still there. I see some of my old acquaintances now and then and while I miss them, I don't envy their world.

I'll take mine any day.

Mike

Jomey

.

Hi Liz, I'm happy for you that you are seeing this so clearly. For the first few months that I was in recovery, I was so nervous about being anti-social, missing out on things, etc. Then I realized that I was also extremely used to the instant gratification that drinking provided...nervous? have a drink. stressed? have a drink. worried? have a drink. When I started looking at the big picture, I realized that instant gratification is not what it is all about, and even if I spent an entire year at home, working on my sobriety, getting closer to my family, suring up my recovery, there would be many, many more happier years ahead, instead of forcing myself to do things I wasn't comfortable with, and possibly throwing a stumbling block into my recovery.

I agree with Dee (big surprise! LOL) and I think you are on the right track....you'll know when you are ready to face each challenge. Remember, Liz comes first!

Jomey

tommyk

NA/AA meetings prepared me very well for my re-introduction to life.

I spoke at meetings, I did service work.

Soon I was speaking at business meetings, and doing community service work.

Soon I felt comfortable in society.

When I speak in front of groups now I just pretend they're all in NA/AA.

(NA/AA is an amazing program if we can get over the 10% - 15% of the program that we don't like, and focus on the 85% that WORKS if YOU work it. )

Quse56

79 days and not ready yet. I alwyas thougth that I was going to miss out on something and people would forget about me. Today, I don't feel that way. I bought concert tickets for the fall, but they are mellow groups and I am going with safe people. I steered clear of the music fests I was dying to attend. But being home is nice! I read, rearrange furniture, etc... and getting social at meetings is helping me build a network of people with whom I can do stuff when the time is right. I miss the dark and seedy side of life sometimes, but I don't miss driving home all crunked out at 5am and seeing people jogging and hating them. The worls won't forget me, and the ones that do, didn't really matter anyway

keithj

I have no idea when I was actually ready. I was immersed in AA and just doing the deal. I knew I was ready when it actually occurred to me to read that part of Chapter 7 that talks about doing all the things alcoholics are not supposed to be able to do.

I followed the directions, then picked up a friend who was stumbling half-dressed down the road, bought him a couple tallboys, and 12th stepped him on my couch.

happy2balive

WOW...I'm sitting here crying as I'm reading your posts (what a suprise), but just how happy for meeting all of you, and finding SR. You are helping me have the confidence to walk into AA.
Since I finally had seen the light to quit....I am just very emotional right now with everythng..I find its hard for me to just have a normal conversation with people about just life. All I think about is my recovery.
thank you for all your posts...they are a life saver for me.
I'm so very grateful for everything that is shared
Liz

jamdls

The first 6-9 months I was scared of my own shadow, I was comfortable at the AA meetings I went to and spoke, and at work I was fine but other than that I just wasn't. I ended all relationships that primarily involved drinking and closed the door, I don't want to go to bars or parties, not that I think I would be tempted, I just don't want to be around people that are drinking a lot. Now at almost 2 years I'd be comfortable any where with anyone but there are places I just don't want to go and people I don't want to be around.

Hevyn

Hi Liz. I think it partly depends on how long & what type of drinker you were. I crippled my emotional growth and never reacted properly to many major events in my life - so those first few months were terrifying in many ways. Kind of like crawling out of a cave into the sunshine? I wanted to feel "healed" and happy right away, but it was a PROCESS. I had to wait for the fog to lift. It didn't take long until the resentment and fear about what lay ahead began to fade. If I'd expected an instant happiness and serenity, I'd have been very discouraged and probably would've gone running back to the shelter of drinking. That's where SR came in - I saw that many felt as I did and I was no longer alone. I was assured that a new day would dawn for me - when the time was right.

freeflyin

i will never be ready to step out into the drinking druggin world again...

BUT the real world, I have foudn to be really cool!

Angel1

For the first few months of my sobriety, I basically removed myself from all social drinking situations. In that time frame I spent a fair amount of time online with friends that not only helped me through the first stages, but kept me entertained as well
Since it was my decision to quit, I really don't have a problem being around those that drink..that isn't a trigger for me. However, what I have found is that I no longer WANT to be in those situations... what I used to consider a great time full of fun & laughs, I now view as boring & drunken gibberish. And to think I spent so many years of my life thinking that was the only way to have fun sheesh...
guess I'm a slow learner lol

BKP

After seeing my mother and her issues with drinking over X mas break and I was wasted myself for 14 days in a row. I said enough, I quit when my body and mind said I cant do this anymore. I listened and never will go back.

least

I was ready when I was so sick of myself I wanted to die.

gravity

It's been a gradual process.

For the first few months, I did my best to avoid triggers (people, places, and things). I used this time to immerse myself in recovery (12 steps, meetings, SR, spiritual readings).

But life happens! I can’t spend all of my time hiding at home & in AA meetings. And there are situations that are simply unavoidable.

Initially, I was a little tentative about being around alcohol but some of the things I enjoy the most involve other people drinking – concerts, football games, get-togethers (family & friends), camping.

But with each successful experience, I grew more confident & relaxed around alcohol. Today, it really doesn't bother me at all!

I won’t go to places where the main purpose is to get drunk (for example, certain bars I used to hang out at). It’s not that I’m scared but rather because I don’t want to. I don’t go to casinos because I’m not a gambler, I don’t go to golf courses because I don’t golf, etc. Why would I go to a bar?

My AA experience is what has brought me to this day, this clarity of mind. I believe that I am safe & protected when I am around alcohol. As long as I am spiritually fit, I will not drink. I don’t have to worry about it anymore.