Socializing without drugs?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Framingham, Massachusetts
Posts: 13
Socializing without drugs?
i hit a month on june 2nd. i have barely socialized with anyone the whole time.
i started using at 14, was an addict from the start. so, through my teenage years drugs and alcohol were pretty much my means of meeting people and getting together with people. i never learned to cultivate a social circle without getting f'ed up being somehow involved.
i'm 22 now and it's really hard to find people in young adulthood (say 19-25) who don't party.
i have no idea what to do to start a social life. i'm extremely lonely and isolated and i'm having bad cravings every day for the past week that i think would be easier if i had people to hang out with.
any advice?
p.s. everyone at meetings around here, with VERY few exceptions, is at least in their 30s. i'm 22 and would much prefer to spend time with people my age.
i started using at 14, was an addict from the start. so, through my teenage years drugs and alcohol were pretty much my means of meeting people and getting together with people. i never learned to cultivate a social circle without getting f'ed up being somehow involved.
i'm 22 now and it's really hard to find people in young adulthood (say 19-25) who don't party.
i have no idea what to do to start a social life. i'm extremely lonely and isolated and i'm having bad cravings every day for the past week that i think would be easier if i had people to hang out with.
any advice?
p.s. everyone at meetings around here, with VERY few exceptions, is at least in their 30s. i'm 22 and would much prefer to spend time with people my age.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
Hi,
Congratulations on your sober time!
It does take a lot of changes in early sobriety, to be able to stay on track. My advice is to do what you like doing. Join a club, take a course, volunteer in your community - do anything that interests you and hopefully you can some new people.
Be proud of yourself and how you have changed your life!
Congratulations on your sober time!
It does take a lot of changes in early sobriety, to be able to stay on track. My advice is to do what you like doing. Join a club, take a course, volunteer in your community - do anything that interests you and hopefully you can some new people.
Be proud of yourself and how you have changed your life!
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 124
Are you really a Zen student? Why not find a Zen center in your area and check it out? I'd also recommend checking newspapers and the net for various activities such as alcohol/drug free dances etc. Stay sober and the right friends will come. Use this time to more firmly establish your sobriety.
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
lonely and isolated
This is a common problem we have all gone thru and I'm still learning solve them daily. I feel like the easiest one to attack thru action is the isolation. Leave the front door and engage the world doesn't really matter what I do. Also, I have become content to be by myself at times, it's okay for me to do that. Having solitude is much different mindset than isolation even though physically nothings changed. 
These are growing problems and are great markers for progress.
DONT DRINK NO MATTER WHAT
These are growing problems and are great markers for progress.DONT DRINK NO MATTER WHAT
Last edited by Firehazard; 07-05-2009 at 04:06 PM. Reason: forgot item
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi S4Z & welcome to SR :day6
I joined some hiking groups & activity groups here, I looked up your town for you.... lots going on.
Framingham, MA Meetup Groups - Meetup.com
Mixed age groups so there may be some older people too. What kind of interests do you have?
Good luck
NB
I joined some hiking groups & activity groups here, I looked up your town for you.... lots going on.
Framingham, MA Meetup Groups - Meetup.com
Mixed age groups so there may be some older people too. What kind of interests do you have?
Good luck
NB
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Congrats on your clean and sober time! Please do check out volunteering some community service time. I use to volunteer at a food bank and found it a nice change of pace. Also, I found out the newest scoops on all the community activities there. Look into any fund raisers that might be going in at charities that interest you. I got to see Stephen King speak at fund raiser for a library! It was $3 and very interesting to me! Loads of people too!
Love,
Lenina
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
like you i starting drinking early........most people i hung around with drank like me.
it was tough in the beginning adapting to socializing without all the false confidence and bottom line was without booze i was a shrinking voilet.
But it does come with time.......confidences returns and i started to become comfortable around people.........aa helped alot with that stuff and making the coffee put me in front of new people alot.
Some other good ideas have already been mentioned...gym..or some classes.
My wife bought me a violin....lol............bless her
its still in the case........i ended up with so much to do i didnt get round to learning how to play it.
she reckoned i could practice in the truck..lol....
i can just imagine the look on the other truckers faces when i pulled that out.
good luck.
it was tough in the beginning adapting to socializing without all the false confidence and bottom line was without booze i was a shrinking voilet.
But it does come with time.......confidences returns and i started to become comfortable around people.........aa helped alot with that stuff and making the coffee put me in front of new people alot.
Some other good ideas have already been mentioned...gym..or some classes.
My wife bought me a violin....lol............bless her
its still in the case........i ended up with so much to do i didnt get round to learning how to play it.
she reckoned i could practice in the truck..lol....
i can just imagine the look on the other truckers faces when i pulled that out.
good luck.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
this is going to sound like a really silly piece of advice for socializing but get a really cute puppy— kills two birds with one stone, helps with the loneliness, gets you out of the house to walk and gets you socializing with other dog parents and people admiring your pup gets you lots of contact.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I found a huge bunch of sober alcoholics in AA
who share my lifestyle and goals.
We have all sorts of activities and many are learning
how to be both social and sober....
Well done on your progress
who share my lifestyle and goals.
We have all sorts of activities and many are learning
how to be both social and sober....
Well done on your progress
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