I made it!
 

I went to the bbq and as I expected there were a few people hitting the bottle hard/using, others drinking 'normally'. As it has happened to many here, I was offered a drink the minute we got there and often over the 7 hours we were there, but I wasn't really pushed to do it. I declined, though it was hard. The surprisingly beautiful weather, music, laughter, good natured ribbing, firing up the grill - all stuff I have associated with drinking since time out out of mind - big triggers.

It was a challenge/a bit overwhelming and I thought I might need to leave a couple of times, but I made it through. Not that I didn't entertain the thought of getting completely wasted - I could smell all the alcohol and was stupid and took a few big whiffs of a few of the drinks. But I did not drink. We went and saw a fireworks display and then headed home.

I went for a walk to clear my head and then logged in. I'm still processing everything that happened and trying to figure out how I feel about it (still struggle with id-ing my feelings). I guess I'm just grateful that I didn't give in.

Thanks for listening to me babble.:thanks

Good for you!!!! I went to a BBQ tonight too. I didn't drink either. I did leave early; drunks are obnoxious and annoying when you're not one of them! LOL!!!

good work for both of you :)

D

Right back at'cha Ready2Live! I know what you mean, I am so much less tolerant of drunk people these days. I had patience when I first quit but as the months go by it takes less and less to annoy me. LOL

Nice :c031:

It was only day 2 for me and I wanted to smack the first two people that tried to maul me when I walked in the front door with my 3 yr old daughter. They had been drinking since the day before. The whole time (2 hrs.) I was there, I looked around and it made me never want to drink again. I'm sure the temptation will come... I have no doubt; but, I really, really want sobriety!!!!!

Congratulations on making it through the barbecue. I've at times intentionally smelled liquor as well. I didn't give in either but I don't intend to make a habit of it.

Hey, most things worth doing are hard, Its what makes them worthwhile. You did the right thing even if it wasn't the easy thing, or the fun thing. It gets better, just takes time, mindfulness and committment. Moment by moment you get it done, you become a sober warrior in the battle against addiction. You'ne got a lot of comrades walking point and watching your back.

“For practitioners or spiritual warriors—people who have a certain hunger to know what is true—feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”
From: When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron.

Hold on to that!

Thanks. I need to not make a habit of it either, it was a stupid thing to do, you play with fire eventually you get burned, right?

Thanks McF, for the encouraging words. I hope to maintain mindfullness and my committment. It is always comforting to know that there are others that have been here and are here on SR now providing hope and support.

That is a great quote!

If that was babbling, I want to hear more! Awesome job at the bbq...and don't you just feel so proud of yourself. Heck of an accomplishment. :)

Thanks coffeenut. I'm not good at self-congratulating, tending more toward self-deprecation. One of the many things I need to work on, probably, to actually work toward true recovery.