Will REALLY be tested this weekend...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 14
Will REALLY be tested this weekend...
Some friends of mine are coming to visit over the July 4th weekend. I haven't drank for 11 days now, but this could be tough. I told them that I had quit, and why. A few seemed to understand, but others are saying things like "just take a break while we're down there. It's a special occasion."
That sounds cruel, but I honestly do not believe they mean for it to be. They just don't understand, and in their minds they just don't see anything wrong with drinking. For them, there probably isn't anything wrong.
I've really enjoyed these 11 days. After the first week, I started to feel better and better at the beginning of each day. My appetite has skyrocketed and I may need to start running more, but other than that I haven't really struggled all that much. This weekend isn't an issue of cravings. It's an issue of peer pressure, which I knew from the start I'd have a tougher time with than the physical cravings. There have been times where I thought "man, a beer would taste great right about now," but I've stuck to this and feel that I am better off for it.
Again, the biggest problem is explaining it to friends that I are genuinely great people and that I care for a lot, but just don't understand. They've never struggled with this like I have, and to them it's not an issue of stopping. It's an issue of doing it responsibly. To me, the best way (and perhaps the only way) to do it responsibly and not drink so much is to not drink at all.
We'll see how it goes. I hope everyone has a safe, sober and enjoyable weekend.
peace,
Ortho
That sounds cruel, but I honestly do not believe they mean for it to be. They just don't understand, and in their minds they just don't see anything wrong with drinking. For them, there probably isn't anything wrong.
I've really enjoyed these 11 days. After the first week, I started to feel better and better at the beginning of each day. My appetite has skyrocketed and I may need to start running more, but other than that I haven't really struggled all that much. This weekend isn't an issue of cravings. It's an issue of peer pressure, which I knew from the start I'd have a tougher time with than the physical cravings. There have been times where I thought "man, a beer would taste great right about now," but I've stuck to this and feel that I am better off for it.
Again, the biggest problem is explaining it to friends that I are genuinely great people and that I care for a lot, but just don't understand. They've never struggled with this like I have, and to them it's not an issue of stopping. It's an issue of doing it responsibly. To me, the best way (and perhaps the only way) to do it responsibly and not drink so much is to not drink at all.
We'll see how it goes. I hope everyone has a safe, sober and enjoyable weekend.
peace,
Ortho
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I had to cancel most of my plans in early sobriety. I had to protect it as the precious gift it really is. I'm at around 10+ months and I still prefer not to be around drinkers or drinking situations.. as I'm a non-drinker.
I also had to change up who I thought were my friends.. but it took me a while to weed out who was and who wasn't. For the friends that stuck around (because they were unphased by doing non-drinking things with me), they know how important my sobriety is. My drinking buddies.. eh, I don't care. I do have to say, when I first quit drinking and I had the ridiculous idea to still go hang out at my local bar, once I said I quit drinking.. none of them offered me a drink or asked me to. That's just completely disrespectful and insensitive. Maybe your friends don't know that this is a LIFE change.. and critical to your well being. I would question any friend that encouraged you to drink at all.. they might be struggling with the spotlight on their own issues then.
I have to look out for me and my sobriety, no one else will!
I also had to change up who I thought were my friends.. but it took me a while to weed out who was and who wasn't. For the friends that stuck around (because they were unphased by doing non-drinking things with me), they know how important my sobriety is. My drinking buddies.. eh, I don't care. I do have to say, when I first quit drinking and I had the ridiculous idea to still go hang out at my local bar, once I said I quit drinking.. none of them offered me a drink or asked me to. That's just completely disrespectful and insensitive. Maybe your friends don't know that this is a LIFE change.. and critical to your well being. I would question any friend that encouraged you to drink at all.. they might be struggling with the spotlight on their own issues then.
I have to look out for me and my sobriety, no one else will!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
Ortho, I think you're not alone. A lot of us will be tested this weekend. I get cravings here and there, but the social aspect of drinking is going to be the hardest thing for me to kick as well. I guess it's just ... ONE DAY AT A TIME?!!!
I was just sitting here thinking: Wow, holiday weekend. I feel like partying!!! Ughhhhh....
Thanks for your post.
I was just sitting here thinking: Wow, holiday weekend. I feel like partying!!! Ughhhhh....
Thanks for your post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 14
I definitely feel ya Hopeful.
Sometimes I think if I was a really "bad" drunk that was unpleasant to be around and was constantly putting my friends in a situation to where I had to clean up my mess, I'd actually get more support. Insteadit feels as though, if anything, I'm getting negative support.
I'm still dead set on not drinking throghout the weekend, if for no other reason than I see this as yet another test that I'm going to have to pass, and I want to pass it.
As bad as this sounds I feel that if I were to drink, I'd be able to stop again once they leave, but the competitive side of me doesn't want to start over. I'm already at 11. I don't want to go back to zero. It's like writing a paper or an article. Drinking again would feel like I accidentally deleted it without hitting "SAVE" and now I'll have to start over.
Ortho
Sometimes I think if I was a really "bad" drunk that was unpleasant to be around and was constantly putting my friends in a situation to where I had to clean up my mess, I'd actually get more support. Insteadit feels as though, if anything, I'm getting negative support.
I'm still dead set on not drinking throghout the weekend, if for no other reason than I see this as yet another test that I'm going to have to pass, and I want to pass it.
As bad as this sounds I feel that if I were to drink, I'd be able to stop again once they leave, but the competitive side of me doesn't want to start over. I'm already at 11. I don't want to go back to zero. It's like writing a paper or an article. Drinking again would feel like I accidentally deleted it without hitting "SAVE" and now I'll have to start over.
Ortho
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 73
I am having the same thoughts, I wil stop after the weekend. But I am only on day 3 and really want to make it to a week. going camping with drinking friends so it os going to be tough, but I feel confident I can do it. Stay Strong!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,447
Hi Ortho,
I couldn't be around people who were drinking when I was in early recovery. It just didn't work for me, so I have no advice. But, I wish you a safe and happy July 4th weekend.
I couldn't be around people who were drinking when I was in early recovery. It just didn't work for me, so I have no advice. But, I wish you a safe and happy July 4th weekend.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,316
Ortho,
I was the worlds oldest teenager so I know about peer pressure for the party crew....
the bottom line is we're not in high school anymore....adults can and do know whats right, and we can say no.
If someones trying to get you to drink they're either not your friend, they're in denial or ignorant, or they have their own alcohol issues...
You know whats right
D
Have to add I picked the stay at home option for my early recovery...
I was the worlds oldest teenager so I know about peer pressure for the party crew....
the bottom line is we're not in high school anymore....adults can and do know whats right, and we can say no.
If someones trying to get you to drink they're either not your friend, they're in denial or ignorant, or they have their own alcohol issues...
You know whats right
D
Have to add I picked the stay at home option for my early recovery...
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
A test that I'll never fail.. is the test I don't take. 
I've really learned to be responsible for myself as a person, be my own person, and prioritize things in my life. Alcohol, and alcohol related activities are the last prioroity in my life.
Good luck to all over the holiday weekend...!
I've really learned to be responsible for myself as a person, be my own person, and prioritize things in my life. Alcohol, and alcohol related activities are the last prioroity in my life.
Good luck to all over the holiday weekend...!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Ortho,
I'm not sure how full of despair you were 11 days ago, or how desperate you are to stay sober. When I got sober, I would have licked your dog's as* to quit drinking. I simply could not go on living like that for another day. Worrying about the crimp it might put in my lifestyle or what my friends might think was the farthest thing from my mind. That kind of comittment to go to any lengths was required for me to stay sober.
But, that's just me, and I'm rather fond of dogs.
I'm not sure how full of despair you were 11 days ago, or how desperate you are to stay sober. When I got sober, I would have licked your dog's as* to quit drinking. I simply could not go on living like that for another day. Worrying about the crimp it might put in my lifestyle or what my friends might think was the farthest thing from my mind. That kind of comittment to go to any lengths was required for me to stay sober.
But, that's just me, and I'm rather fond of dogs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Buffalo Grove, IL
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Ortho 
Some friends of mine are coming to visit over the July 4th weekend. I haven't drank for 11 days now, but this could be tough. I told them that I had quit, and why. A few seemed to understand, but others are saying things like "just take a break while we're down there. It's a special occasion."
...
Again, the biggest problem is explaining it to friends that I are genuinely great people and that I care for a lot, but just don't understand. They've never struggled with this like I have, and to them it's not an issue of stopping. It's an issue of doing it responsibly. To me, the best way (and perhaps the only way) to do it responsibly and not drink so much is to not drink at all.
We'll see how it goes. I hope everyone has a safe, sober and enjoyable weekend.
peace,
Ortho
...
Again, the biggest problem is explaining it to friends that I are genuinely great people and that I care for a lot, but just don't understand. They've never struggled with this like I have, and to them it's not an issue of stopping. It's an issue of doing it responsibly. To me, the best way (and perhaps the only way) to do it responsibly and not drink so much is to not drink at all.
We'll see how it goes. I hope everyone has a safe, sober and enjoyable weekend.
peace,
Ortho
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
I'm not going to drink, either, but it is going to be one day at a time this weekend. I'm on Day 5 and I want to keep going. I just keep thinking: don't worry about tomorrow, or the next day, just don't drink today. I am motivated by wanting to wake up feeling good tomorrow. And not failing. The partying frame of mind means trouble for me... I'm letting it pass on by.
Good luck to everyone.
Good luck to everyone.
TC MI
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traverse city MI
Posts: 73
Instead it feels as though, if anything, I'm getting negative support.
Hi i had the same thing for years friends family just did not want to deal with it..they wanted things to stay the same. but i think people that don"t know the pain and anguish of a drunk don't understand..and its not for them to.. This is something you have to do for you.
Hi i had the same thing for years friends family just did not want to deal with it..they wanted things to stay the same. but i think people that don"t know the pain and anguish of a drunk don't understand..and its not for them to.. This is something you have to do for you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
I hope you don't let them pressure you into drinking. yes, you'd have to start over and it might be harder next time. You'll find out who your real friends are by who gives you a hard time about being sober and who supports your choice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hey Ortho,
Expect to b seriously pisssed off this weekend. Why? because it will happen at least once when drink will be forced on you. What u have to do is send a loud anc clear message that u are not drinking again, ever. how? Pour the drink on the ground if u need to. Hand the empty back but do this with a sence of humour. There is no other way im afraid as most people just wont get it.
Also, bring a few good books with u for being on your own for times u need to be. Good luck.
Expect to b seriously pisssed off this weekend. Why? because it will happen at least once when drink will be forced on you. What u have to do is send a loud anc clear message that u are not drinking again, ever. how? Pour the drink on the ground if u need to. Hand the empty back but do this with a sence of humour. There is no other way im afraid as most people just wont get it.
Also, bring a few good books with u for being on your own for times u need to be. Good luck.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Originally Posted by keithj
When I got sober, I would have licked your dog's as* to quit drinking.
But, that's just me, and I'm rather fond of dogs.
But, that's just me, and I'm rather fond of dogs.
I canceled our annual family beach camping trip, to the dismay of many. I changed my number so that I could decide when and if I was ready to talk to certain people who might not support me. I had to get firm with a few people to get them to take it seriously, and it was very uncomfortable in the beginning, so I avoided those situations.
good luck
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Originally Posted by Gypsy Feet
I like dogs too, and the day I quit drinking I promised myself WHATEVER it took (dog's bums included).
I canceled our annual family beach camping trip, to the dismay of many. I changed my number so that I could decide when and if I was ready to talk to certain people who might not support me. I had to get firm with a few people to get them to take it seriously, and it was very uncomfortable in the beginning, so I avoided those situations.
good luck
I canceled our annual family beach camping trip, to the dismay of many. I changed my number so that I could decide when and if I was ready to talk to certain people who might not support me. I had to get firm with a few people to get them to take it seriously, and it was very uncomfortable in the beginning, so I avoided those situations.
good luck
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
I would say your friends should not pressure you if they really care about you. The only people I have been pressured from are ones that have a problem or a question about their drinking themselves.
Just last weekend a step sister of mine found I no longer drink. She lives out of State and so hasn't been around me for my sober year. Her comment to my mom was, "Wow! How boring. How do they stand going to parties while everyone else is drinking and they're not?" Mom answered as I was on the phone. I would have loved to answer her though. My answer would have been the following, "I don't go to a party if its centered around alcohol and if its not, but its being served so what. Not everyone usually drinks at a party. Life is so much better and happier and definitely less boring since I stopped drinking. I don't think sitting at home and getting drunk every night is exciting." Guess its good my Mom answered her.
You will run into people, places, holidays, birthdays, ball games . . . They will all be an occasion to have a drink and then stop another day, but if you hold still and stay sober you will gain strength. The addiction finds all kinds of excuses to rear its ugly head, but every time you make it past one of its excuses you weaken it.
You can do it and I look forward to hearing how you whooped its butt this weekend.
Just last weekend a step sister of mine found I no longer drink. She lives out of State and so hasn't been around me for my sober year. Her comment to my mom was, "Wow! How boring. How do they stand going to parties while everyone else is drinking and they're not?" Mom answered as I was on the phone. I would have loved to answer her though. My answer would have been the following, "I don't go to a party if its centered around alcohol and if its not, but its being served so what. Not everyone usually drinks at a party. Life is so much better and happier and definitely less boring since I stopped drinking. I don't think sitting at home and getting drunk every night is exciting." Guess its good my Mom answered her.
You will run into people, places, holidays, birthdays, ball games . . . They will all be an occasion to have a drink and then stop another day, but if you hold still and stay sober you will gain strength. The addiction finds all kinds of excuses to rear its ugly head, but every time you make it past one of its excuses you weaken it.
You can do it and I look forward to hearing how you whooped its butt this weekend.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 580
My cousin is in the airforce and has a weeks leave and has come to spend some time on the coast with me. I told him I don't drink anymore and he was 100% cool with this. Real friends will always stand by your decision, if they dont, in my eyes they arent real friends
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: long island, new york
Posts: 61
I feel you brotha, Im thinking about isolating tomorrow as all my friends and family will most def. either be drinking or be around it, and I just relapsed last friday trying to attend an event surrounded by alcohol and that did not turn out good at all. I kind of just wish that the 4th was over already, sad but true. Be careful, that thought you have where your saying "I can probably drink once and stop when they leave" talk is def. your inner demons talking, one day can so easily turn into a bender at least for me, stay safe..
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