Major vent for me - sorry.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
When I first started reading this, my thoughts were - well, she's not meant to go. I wouldn't have said that, though, unless you had first! It sounds so cold - but I feel very strongly that this particular trip wasn't meant to be. I never used to think that way in the past, but now that I'm sober I'm much more philosophical about things.
Maybe you can still go, but changes to the trip will be made - and someday you'll know why. Still, I am sharing your anger and sadness tonight - you know I am! I will email you later, love.
Maybe you can still go, but changes to the trip will be made - and someday you'll know why. Still, I am sharing your anger and sadness tonight - you know I am! I will email you later, love.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
I did have a thought and maybe this means my mourning period is soon ending. I thought there might actually be a reason to this. Maybe I would have gotten into a bad accident or maybe my son would have gotten sick. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe there is a reason I am not driving back there right now. I'm still VERY unhappy and disappointed but this reasoning does seem to make a bit of sense to me. I look back on my life and I see reasons for most everything. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to see the reasons immediately, but most often I have to look back.
I'm sure the disappointment sucks but I also believe that there is a reason for everything. You will see your father when the time is right. I know that the milestone is important but the love you share will always remain no matter where you are.
I am a bit heartbroken. No I'm pretty messed up about the whole thing. I know there are more important things in life, but this was pretty major for me.
Take care. Everything will be just fine.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
S.. I'm sorry to hear this. I also believe in a bigger picture - there's no way to know, but maybe this situation will work out in an even better way than you had planned. In the meantime, pistachios are great therapy 
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Sarah being upset is so understandable, let me throw this out there, perhaps you could fly your dad out to see you all? Give him the plane ticket as his initial present and then the album when he arrives. Maybe this is not doable either, but it might be.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hey S - Sorry I'm late on this....All I have for you is a hug (mainly because Miss Joanie -Hevyn- already took my answer! LOL!) and a tiny bit of advice....I know your son is a little younger than my youngest, but don't worry about letting him see you cry. We all get our hearts broken in life, sad but true, and the sooner that kids learn that their parents are "real" people with real emotions, etc., the better off they are, IMO. You are setting a mighty fine example for him - crying over missing your daddy's birthday is extremely noble, considering how many of our elderly are sitting in nursing homes waiting for visits that are never even considered, let alone planned and looked forward to.
You are a wonderful daughter and mother and friend....but pistachios???? COME ON, S!!!! This calls for ice cream, candy, soda, french fries, something more FUN than pistachios!!! (hopefully that gets a little smile out of you!)
Love you! Jomey
You are a wonderful daughter and mother and friend....but pistachios???? COME ON, S!!!! This calls for ice cream, candy, soda, french fries, something more FUN than pistachios!!! (hopefully that gets a little smile out of you!)
Love you! Jomey
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
You guys really are amazing. As far as flying my Dad out it is a great idea, but I think he'll come on his own with his wife (my stepmom) at some point this fall or winter.
I haven't given up. We called the mortgage lady and she said we could close and they will be able to roll the cost into the mortgage, but no money back. That's not the best scenario, but it would work. If, and this is a big if at the moment, we can close this in July I could still maybe go. If it closes in August well then no. Son starts back to school in August and I have a friend I'm feeding her animals for while she's away in August. Promised her that months ago and can't go back on my word. See July is the only possibility. If I can get tickets under $1000 round trip then son and I will fly possibly. It still may work out and if not, I'll live. It just feels so bad, but I actually felt the feelings and I didn't drown them. I do feel glad that I didn't drown them because I know when things get that bad its okay to cry and really hurt because like cravings the feelings go too.
Thanks again SR for helping a person through what could have turned out to be a relapse, but wasn't because posting to you good people REALLY helped me. This is why SR can and does work. I really am thanking God (my HP) for this place and each and every one of you. xoxoxoxox Sarah
I haven't given up. We called the mortgage lady and she said we could close and they will be able to roll the cost into the mortgage, but no money back. That's not the best scenario, but it would work. If, and this is a big if at the moment, we can close this in July I could still maybe go. If it closes in August well then no. Son starts back to school in August and I have a friend I'm feeding her animals for while she's away in August. Promised her that months ago and can't go back on my word. See July is the only possibility. If I can get tickets under $1000 round trip then son and I will fly possibly. It still may work out and if not, I'll live. It just feels so bad, but I actually felt the feelings and I didn't drown them. I do feel glad that I didn't drown them because I know when things get that bad its okay to cry and really hurt because like cravings the feelings go too.
Thanks again SR for helping a person through what could have turned out to be a relapse, but wasn't because posting to you good people REALLY helped me. This is why SR can and does work. I really am thanking God (my HP) for this place and each and every one of you. xoxoxoxox Sarah
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
I'm so glad you are here, you have been a positive in my life and recovery. It will turn out okay. It's amazing that we get through things without picking up that drink today. I know my HP is working overtime with me lately, ha ha.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Had a long talk with a friend I work with today and she told me ever since her brother died when he was 15 years old she views life quite differently. She said money is money and you will usually always owe on something, but we never know when we might lose someone or we, ourselves, might not be around. She isn't saying to be careless, but she did advise me to continue with the plans to go to N.Y. Husband urged me too.
I bit the bullet and put the last charge I will make on the card and found a pretty awesome deal. Son and I are still going, but we are flying rather then driving. My dad is actually relieved because he was worried about me driving that far. I think I could have handled it, but . . . will never know. I am just happy to be going period.
Wanted to let you all know there is a happy ending to this story and I will be off the board for awhile starting July 20th. Hugs - Sarah
I bit the bullet and put the last charge I will make on the card and found a pretty awesome deal. Son and I are still going, but we are flying rather then driving. My dad is actually relieved because he was worried about me driving that far. I think I could have handled it, but . . . will never know. I am just happy to be going period.
Wanted to let you all know there is a happy ending to this story and I will be off the board for awhile starting July 20th. Hugs - Sarah
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