shelly009

This makes a week sober for me! Two parties and seeing old drinking friends. Being offered beer, wine and cigarettes several times but refused... happily. Makes me feel really good. This is the first weekend I havnt been hungover in a LONG TIME. I think I can really do this... forever. To be honest, I like my life better this way.

Does it get harder? I have heard different stories, some say the first week is the hardest, others say it gets harder later... Why would it get harder later? I guess I am just hoping that I will always feel this confident - please say its true..

hopeful999

You've inspired me, Shelly. Congrats on getting through the weekend. Hopefully next week at this time I'll be writing a similar message.

jmart

Hi Shelly for me it always gets easier the longer i go. i start feeling like my old self fairly fast. some times it was a year or two years i even went five yeas once. for me i had to realize I am powerless over alcohol it always ends up consuming me..congrats on your clean time. Jay

lauraandersen4

Congrats Shelly. I wish I had an answer for you but you are ahead of me... minus the weekend hangovers. I have had up to (and possibly over... lost count) 9 drinks in 2 hours (wine and pretty strong vodka) on a few occasions and have never experienced a true hangover. Positive they are unpleasant though and that this is a huge step in the right direction for you.

Congratulations on making it this far!

Provider

That is F'n awesome! Congrats! It is so good to get positive feedback when people do well. It definitely motivates me to try harder! Thanks!

jamdls

congratulations on a week sober. Mornings w/o hangovers continue to be awesome for me after nearly 2 years. Depending on the level of your alcohol abuse you could be playing with fire by going to parties and being around so much booze so early on, it could get more difficult to refuse. I stayed away from drinking buddies and bars for over a year so that I did not have the temptation. I wish you continued success.

lunarise

Shelly~

I can only tell you what I know is true for me. When I first got sober I was on cloud nine and oh so motivated for about 2-3 months. I didnt have any cravings during this time. Well maybe one small one. Anyway the last month has been the hardest for me in terms of cravings. I dont think that its the same for everyone though. Cravings arent anything to be scared of as long as you have a plan for them. I make sure that I have someone I can call or talk to anytime if I need it. I also make sure that when I feel like I need a reward for something good or something not so fun that I had to do that I reward myself well so that the cravings arent bad. Obviously it is totally possible to have them not drink. Here I am with a little over 5 months sober. It gets easier to be sober, for me, but I do have cravings still. I hope that helps some. Just for the record I dont use any program in particular other than self care. I try and make sure I am getting what I need...enough sleep, nutrition, enough fun, social time, alone time, spiritual practice, exercise.....All of these things help keep me sober and safe.

Congrats on your time!!!! I am glad you feel excited about your life, you have every reason to be!!

:ghug3

Horselover

Congratulations Shelly. Everybody is different on this recovery thing. Some, like you said, have found it hardest in the beginning and others have found it harder later on.

Later it "could" become difficult because you are further away from that last hangover or the reason you gave it up.

It was very hard for me in the beginning and my emotions were all over the place. I also was having a hard time living in the moment.

With time I find I still have urges, but I now know those urges will pass and how to get past them. You develop more tools in handling things as you go along.

You have a great start Shelly and the first weekend is your first hurdle. So good for you for having made it. Keep on keeping on!!

shelly009

Thanks guys! I will do my best

eddie73

Way 2 go Shelly!

One thing that I have 2 be careful of is staying too long in bars or visiting them too often, the temptation is there or the careless moment of one harmless drink is always a danger.

So an hour and no longer in a bar, or 2 hours max at a house party is my rule. Dont be dissuaded by other peoples views on this. The stakes are too great

Astro

Hmmm, well, the mental obsession was gone a long time ago, but I can't honestly say that I never have cravings. It's been over 4 years since my last drink.

This week I'm on vacation with family and friends, staying at a cottage on the beach. I'm the only non-drinker here, there's beer and wine in the fridge, the amount of alcohol on the beach and on the streets is staggering, I haven't seen anything like this in a long time.

I've been reading my Big Book, posting here on SR in the evenings, and in a day or two I'll get to an AA meeting.

Is it hard? Yes, but only because of my surroundings this week. But my confidence comes from having plenty of recovery tools at my disposal, I know exactly what to do when those cravings strike.

Dee74

Some people seem to give up and never look back - the obsession is lifted.

I'm not one of those people LOL

I said to someone else recently recovery isn't necessarily linear. Its probably not what ppl want to hear, but it's true...at least for me.

I have over two years and some days are great...some days I'm a-trudgin'.

That's why every day I renew my commitment to being sober.

But my life is so much better and it *is* easier...it's not the same now - it's kinda like meeting an ex again - you know you should feel something, maybe even do feel a phantom echo of that feeling, but it belongs to someone else. It's not me anymore

congrats on yr weekend
D

shelly009

Thanks Dee that makes sense. Actually after posting this post, today hasnt been that great. Kind of like when you are a new mom trying to do too much after having a baby. We had a BBQ with friends down the street but I feel overwhelmed... think I need to take it a little slower, its been a busy weekend.

Thanks again for all the well wishes!

Shelly

C23

IMO, it gets however you let it get. If you feel better and realize you never want to pick up another drink, it gets easier. If you sit there and everyday think about that its "not fair" or "why can't I just have a few" it will get easier. Once you get rid of the underlying issues that are causing you to drink, it gets really easy to avoid the stuff.

Chris

MycoolFitz

Way to go! I'm 83 days and it really hasn't been hard for me this time,so far. I hit a bottem so deep and hard that I think something broke free for me.I'm also on Campral which seems to be working. In the past I did have serious cravings,I also had cravings when I drank, couldn't get enough. Would wake up throughout the night just to consume more. I think we're all different and we can also cycle, it doesn't have to be a straight line.

Speaking of craving: The Buddhist scripture, The Dhammapada, tells us that “from craving arises sorrow and from craving arises fear”. In our sorrow and fear comes our pain. When we try to medicate or numb our pain chemically, we become addicted. When we try to smother it in the comfort of our family and friends we smother the love of family and friends. What are we to do? To whom or what can we turn?

Those questions are what drive our personal programs of recovery, mine includes AA, spiritual practice, prescribed meds, therapy and more. I'll do whatever it takes to make it. "It" just gets better for me.

coffeenut

Congratulations on a week well done!

IMO, sobriety is a work in progress.....just like life. Ups, downs, challenges and rewards.

Sobriety is totally, totally doable. Have a plan...and stick to it.

Wolfchild

It may get easy, it may get hard. One things for sure, it will get real.

Going to a couple parties and seeing some old drinking friends may have made it more difficult. If your reason for being there was to help your sobriety, then i'm glad it worked out for you. If your reason for being there was because it's such a comfortable pattern of behavior for you, then i'm glad that you resisted the temptations.

Have you given any thought to attending A.A. meetings?

Freeport

I'm at 49 days today and had a tough weekend. Part of it gets back to the "planning" point several people already have made here. We hosted an impromptu party on Saturday and I wasn't able to get mentally set for it. Seven hours of yardwork and housework, then friends arrived – folks I've traditionally drank with over the years. I caught myself clearly wanting to down large amounts of booze with these people during a traditional Saturday BBQ.

I'm not worried about this weekend, because I've been thinking ahead about it for several weeks. Please do the same Shelly and have a great sober day, week, summer, and life!

Sheer will power got me through it, plus the fact that the other three adults present never once questioned way I wasn't drinking or pushed alcohol on me. That clearly didn't hurt. At the end of the day, and the next morning, I was very happy with myself for not drinking. Then I got to deal with a hungover wife yesterday.

keithj

Don't know. Some people are where you are and maintain sobriety indefinitely. However, most every alcoholic I know can share an experience like you are sharing.

I remember going to a party once, happily refusing drinks and genuinely feeling content. I was proud of my strength and amazed at how little I was tempted. Think I even did that a couple of times. This was a couple years before I got sober. I was doing the 'tell myself I won't drink today' thing every morning. Felt great and was doing well. Or so I thought. I made it about 2 months and found a reason to get drunk. And stay drunk. Highly justified, I'm sure. I progressed from there to Dr's, anti-depressants, counselling, outpatient treatment, inpatient rehab, etc. I'd sober up for a little while, and then came the inevitable relapse, just like the Big Book talks about. I finally recovered throught the spiritual solution offered by AA.

It all depends. I thought I had it licked at that time. A couple more years of things getting quickly and steadily worse has convinced me that my 'goose hanging high' time was just another fantasy. I hope it's different for you.