ranting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 98
ranting
So here I am at 7 days and it is really good, thank God,
I have not been able to string 7 days together in a while
These are my most possible days for relapse, so I need a meeting everyday now.
Tonight, Friday night is always party night, so instead, I made plans to go out with my son. He is 14. There was a local concert in a hall that he wanted to go to but needed a ride, so I went, and went shopping while he heard the band, then we went home together and had a long talk about his plans and his high school and he was feeling good, and so was I
I just woke up because my husband is home from the bar, Loud and obnoxious and eager to tell me everything that is wrong with me, how I'm fat and unhappy with myself. I want to just scream and cry, as for the first time in a long time I am happy with myself, and I don't need someone bringing so much negativity on me right now. In my meeting today we talked about gratitude and how if we stay grateful for the good and put the bad aside, we can stay sober. I totally agree with that, as I have so much to be grateful for, but how can I have someone that just wants to bring up all my problems and shortcomings all the time?
And so I came on here to rant and to remind myself, that i have alot to be grateful for. That today, exactly how I am right now, I am loveable, deserve love and respect. That drinking would not have made that scene any better, it still would have happened. I am not that little neglected child anymore, and I can take care of myself, and love myself, and not depend on anyone else to make me feel good or bad.
I am glad that I came on here to get this out, and not let it fester, and I probably will not be able to go back to sleep tonight. But if I don't there is an early meeting, and I will be there.
Thanks for listening.
God Bless
I have not been able to string 7 days together in a while
These are my most possible days for relapse, so I need a meeting everyday now.
Tonight, Friday night is always party night, so instead, I made plans to go out with my son. He is 14. There was a local concert in a hall that he wanted to go to but needed a ride, so I went, and went shopping while he heard the band, then we went home together and had a long talk about his plans and his high school and he was feeling good, and so was I
I just woke up because my husband is home from the bar, Loud and obnoxious and eager to tell me everything that is wrong with me, how I'm fat and unhappy with myself. I want to just scream and cry, as for the first time in a long time I am happy with myself, and I don't need someone bringing so much negativity on me right now. In my meeting today we talked about gratitude and how if we stay grateful for the good and put the bad aside, we can stay sober. I totally agree with that, as I have so much to be grateful for, but how can I have someone that just wants to bring up all my problems and shortcomings all the time?
And so I came on here to rant and to remind myself, that i have alot to be grateful for. That today, exactly how I am right now, I am loveable, deserve love and respect. That drinking would not have made that scene any better, it still would have happened. I am not that little neglected child anymore, and I can take care of myself, and love myself, and not depend on anyone else to make me feel good or bad.
I am glad that I came on here to get this out, and not let it fester, and I probably will not be able to go back to sleep tonight. But if I don't there is an early meeting, and I will be there.
Thanks for listening.
God Bless
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi Ladyb
congratulations on yr week!
Its a sad fact of life that many of us don't get the support we need from those closest to us. Unfortunately, it's just something else we need to deal with...we have to remind ourselves as many times as we need to that we're doing this first and foremost for ourselves....
There's always support here. I'm glad you posted too
D
congratulations on yr week!
Its a sad fact of life that many of us don't get the support we need from those closest to us. Unfortunately, it's just something else we need to deal with...we have to remind ourselves as many times as we need to that we're doing this first and foremost for ourselves....
There's always support here. I'm glad you posted too
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
(((Theladyb)))
Congrads on the 7 days, You are doing wonderful. You go girl!
you said:
I am happy with myself, and I don't need someone bringing so much negativity on me right now. In my meeting today we talked about gratitude and how if we stay grateful for the good and put the bad aside, we can stay sober. I totally agree with that, as I have so much to be grateful for, but how can I have someone that just wants to bring up all my problems and shortcomings all the time?
He says this to bring you down. He knows all about his shortcoming and is transfering this on to you. he is as sick as his secrets. Hold you head up. Do not let him bring you down.
Rant all you want, I'm here, I'll listen. Please stay grateful as I keep trying too.
Congrads on the 7 days, You are doing wonderful. You go girl!
you said:
I am happy with myself, and I don't need someone bringing so much negativity on me right now. In my meeting today we talked about gratitude and how if we stay grateful for the good and put the bad aside, we can stay sober. I totally agree with that, as I have so much to be grateful for, but how can I have someone that just wants to bring up all my problems and shortcomings all the time?
He says this to bring you down. He knows all about his shortcoming and is transfering this on to you. he is as sick as his secrets. Hold you head up. Do not let him bring you down.
Rant all you want, I'm here, I'll listen. Please stay grateful as I keep trying too.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Ok what I really want to say is "get the hell out of that house and out of that mean man and protect yourself and your fragile sobriety" but of course, that's your deal to deal with, if you do.
I'm glad you came here, I'm really proud of you that you didn't turn to alcohol. I don't know how I could deal with living in a home with a person supposed to love me that is mean and continues to get drunk, that would be HORRIBLE for my early days of sobriety, and I commend you.
Keep coming here to vent, we're always here for you.. day, night, rain, shine... you get the drill
I'm glad you came here, I'm really proud of you that you didn't turn to alcohol. I don't know how I could deal with living in a home with a person supposed to love me that is mean and continues to get drunk, that would be HORRIBLE for my early days of sobriety, and I commend you.
Keep coming here to vent, we're always here for you.. day, night, rain, shine... you get the drill
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Congrats on your sober week! Try not to let his negativity get you down or distracted from your goal. I'm sorry he's not supportive, but this is your recovery and it's up to you to stay sober and be good to yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 14
The story you told is beyond anything I've ever had to deal with. I've been sober for five days now, but I haven't had to steer around any obstacles like the one you have described.
What I do know is that going through this alone and pulling yourself up is tough. However, going down alone may not be tough, but bringing someone else down with you is always preferable. In a weird way, it could be that he feels that he is alone in his drunkenness now and would rather have someone with him.
I don't know. I could be way off. All I know is that I have drank alone before, but always preferred company during my binges. I used to have a roommate that abused alcohol as much as I did, and we always did it together. It would have felt strange if one of us quit.
Seven days is AWESOME, especially while dealing with what you're dealing with. If you can get through this then you can certainly make it. Even if you feel yourself getting knocked off course, what's important is that you stay on course. If you keep going in that direction you will get there.
What I do know is that going through this alone and pulling yourself up is tough. However, going down alone may not be tough, but bringing someone else down with you is always preferable. In a weird way, it could be that he feels that he is alone in his drunkenness now and would rather have someone with him.
I don't know. I could be way off. All I know is that I have drank alone before, but always preferred company during my binges. I used to have a roommate that abused alcohol as much as I did, and we always did it together. It would have felt strange if one of us quit.
Seven days is AWESOME, especially while dealing with what you're dealing with. If you can get through this then you can certainly make it. Even if you feel yourself getting knocked off course, what's important is that you stay on course. If you keep going in that direction you will get there.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Originally Posted by TheLadyb 
That today, exactly how I am right now, I am loveable, deserve love and respect.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 72
LadyB-
You are obviously a very strong woman!! I'm so sorry you aren't getting support from your husband (I'd like to say more about him but I won't), but I'm so glad you're happy with yourself! You deserve to stay sober!! Please keep coming here to vent, you'll always find some support here.
You are obviously a very strong woman!! I'm so sorry you aren't getting support from your husband (I'd like to say more about him but I won't), but I'm so glad you're happy with yourself! You deserve to stay sober!! Please keep coming here to vent, you'll always find some support here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 309
Biiiiig hugs. :ghug3 A lot of the time when other alcoholics see there friends, spouses, etc, living in sobriety, it reminds them of they're own drinking problem. Misery loves company, so don't let yourself get brought down to that level. 7 days is AWESOME! Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 237
HOOORAAAY!! 7 days is fantastic!! I am hot on your trails at 6 days!
However, the difference is that I have the support of my husband. And thats mostly due to the fact that I told him that I am making a lifestyle change and that he needed to get on board or our lives would be taking turns away from each other that would not work for the two of us. He decided to get on the sober train with me.
My sobriety depends on the support I get from others. Right now I have to be selfish and that might mean cutting people out of my life for the time being. But sobriety has to be the first thing right now so if someone is bringing me down, I need to stay away from them.
Imagine what last night would have been like if you had been drinking... you would have missed that precious time with your son. Does he see your husband drinking? What do you think that does to him. For me, I wanted a healthy lifestyle for myself and my kids. If my husband wanted to be a part of this family he would have to follow suit (although his drinking wasnt as bad as mine) I want a healthy environment for myself and kids and that means a sober husband as well.
I hope your husband finds it in himself to follow your lead. Or at least not project his unhappiness on you. He probably just feels bad for drinking too. I have been there.
Congratulations again!! You are obviously doing very well and on the right path!
However, the difference is that I have the support of my husband. And thats mostly due to the fact that I told him that I am making a lifestyle change and that he needed to get on board or our lives would be taking turns away from each other that would not work for the two of us. He decided to get on the sober train with me.
My sobriety depends on the support I get from others. Right now I have to be selfish and that might mean cutting people out of my life for the time being. But sobriety has to be the first thing right now so if someone is bringing me down, I need to stay away from them.
Imagine what last night would have been like if you had been drinking... you would have missed that precious time with your son. Does he see your husband drinking? What do you think that does to him. For me, I wanted a healthy lifestyle for myself and my kids. If my husband wanted to be a part of this family he would have to follow suit (although his drinking wasnt as bad as mine) I want a healthy environment for myself and kids and that means a sober husband as well.
I hope your husband finds it in himself to follow your lead. Or at least not project his unhappiness on you. He probably just feels bad for drinking too. I have been there.
Congratulations again!! You are obviously doing very well and on the right path!
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