Do you?
 

Who cares to admit complete defeat?

Practically no one, of course.

Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness.

It is truly awful to admit that glass in hand, I have warped my mind into such an obsession for destructive drinking/thinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from me.

What has helped me greatly is to look for the spiritual principles in recovery.

My experience has been, to learn APPLICATION OF THESE PRINCIPLES in the moment I'm in. Head knowledge gets me nowhere.

BTW, what unmanageable means to me: MY THOUGHT LIFE, SOBER.

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Copyright 1981 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.

from Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, pg 21

I like to think of it as an awareness of my weaknesses. Sort of like how I know I'm terrible at basketball (though I can tear up a rink with a stick and a puck - and forecheck like a freight train, thank you very much).

Awareness... complete defeat... glass half full... glass half empty...

Just my perspective but the words defeat and weakness do not resonate with me.

When I came to from my last bender, I had a moment of perfect clarity - I am an alcoholic & I need help NOW. This was not a passing notion but instead a deep down "knowing".

For me acceptance is the key:

I accept that I am an alcoholic.
I accept that I am powerless to quit drinking on my own.

This was the amazing & necessary start to my recovery. There is such peace that comes with this initial acceptance. No more denial, rationalizing, or "next time will be different". No more trying to gut it out on my own. Finally reaching out for help like so many others before me.

Perhaps the reason why defeat and weakness don't feel appropriate is because I no longer view alcoholism as something negative - it just is. My alcoholism is not an enemy nor does it hinder me in any way from living life to its' fullest.

I can't drink! It's no big deal anymore.

I can't control my rate of alcohol intake once I start drinking.

I can't control my rate of descent once I jump off of a 6 story building.

These activities defeat me, I become defeated, I readily admit defeat.

Not trying to be argumentative at all - but there are activities in which I must admit defeat, and when I compare them to my drinking it makes it more acceptable and logical to admit defeat. It seems to lessen the shame factor?

if you are new to recovery, this is a good question to ask yourself.

This is a tough one for me. I have a hard time admitting defeat in anything. I always play to win, or do not play at all. I am a sore loser, so in that respect I have a hard time accepting defeat, admitting, may be different.

The thought of getting into a physical altercation always scares me, because I know that one of us will not be getting up. I don't know when to give up. In terms of my alcohol and drug use I feel I can admit defeat, but I don't know if I'm to the point of accepting it yet.

you bring out an excellent point Tyler!

admitting comes first.

when we admit, we tend to do so with reluctance.

"Oh alright, I admit"

Acceptance is part of the surrender process and has been clearly noted by doctors, therapists & addiction specialists as a critical component of recovery.

There is a saying in AA, "We have to surrender to win". Sounds hokey but I have found it to be true.

dgillz, SO true! Are you familiar with Dr Harry Tiebout?

He played an integral role during the early part of AA's growth and wrote what have become known as The Tiebout Papers.

Do an internet search or let me know & I'll get the info to you, very informative & important info for us!

I like analogies so I will just quote this :agree

Thanks 1DAAT ;-)

Yes I have read a lot about Dr. Harry. Good stuff.