nogard

my experience has been that if I am looking for answers then something is not right. Welcome to SR

Thentram

Haha, I know exactly what you mean! I always laugh to myself when someone asks me if I "want a drink?" The answer is always NO, I want WAY more than just 1! I ususally don't drink when I'm out at a friend's house because I can't do so socially. The only time I will is when I know I have enough stashed at home to finish the job. Totally insane thinking huh?

I hope you find what you are looking for here and decide to stay and share more!

Emily2002

Laura -- sounds as if you've decided to move on for a while. Hopefully to think a bit about what you've learned here. I DO hope, though, that you bookmark the site for future reference -- even "lurking" if you will.

Trying to make sense of all this is tough. I know, because I've been on and off and then on here for three years trying to figure things out.

It's been good for me to read, to post, to ponder, and to listen -- even if I don't always like what I hear.

Hang in there, and again -- don't forget to check in whenever you need us.

lauraandersen4

Thentram... It sure is a crazy way of thinking.

Everyone on this forum seems so nice and understanding. It has been interesting reading through so many different posts and seeing so many different experiences. Thanks.

Thanks also for answering my questions. Opinions/ other stories are always welcome.

Waterman

I didn't realize that I was an AA until 2 months after quitting the drink.

Tazman53

Laura you sound a lot like me years before alcohol totally owned me and I had to drink even when I did not want to drink.

Back then I was not an alcoholic, all I had to do was figure out how to drink without blacking out or getting drunk! Sure drinking was a problem for me, but I was not an alcoholic, I just liked drinking and I needed to figure out how to drink and not blackout and embarass myself.

Here is a little 12 question quiz to take, answer it honestly and then understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease and as long as an alcoholic drinks it will always get worse, it never stabilizes or gets better, always worse!!!! Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You?

When I was 19 I would have answered yes to 3 of those questions, when I quit at 52 I answered yes to 11 and would have got 12 yes answers very shortly.

lauraandersen4

Thanks Taz. I applaud your successes. I opened that link you sent. I got a 5 but 1 was iffy so I'll go with 4 and give myself the benefit of the doubt. It really isn't causing many problems in my life at the time, but when I go into clinic with a needle and high speed drill in my hand in the morning to work in patients mouths and I'm feeling slowed down from the night before... I know that can't be good even if my coordination is fine.

PS I WOULD NEVER drink before seeing a patient... just so you don't get the wrong idea here

Tazman53

Laura just to give you an idea of the progression of alcoholism, the first 10 years I drank it was very rare I would even drive after a single drink, the next 10 years I would not drive if I had more then 6, the next 10 years I drove as long as I did not feel drunk, the next 10 years I drank and drove every day, on a few occasions I could hardly walk, but I could drive!

Am I bragging? Heck no, I am appalled at where I allowed my alcoholism to take me.

I found that the longer I drank the more things I swore I would never do, I did!!! I also know that there are things YET that I may very well do if I started to drink again.

Every statement that an alcoholic makes today saying they would never do simply add the word YET to the end of the statement if they continue to drink.

keithj

My experience matches up to Taz's. Drinking and driving was a firm line for me early in my progression of alcoholism. Seems like I eventually crossed every firm line I ever made. I'd make a new firm line (say, drinking in the morning, drinking at work), and given enough time, I'd cross that also. Over and over.

Once this thing has a hold on us, we really are a baffled lot.

Rad44

I have been down that road of rationialization and denial before. In hidnsight I was already an Alcoholic at the time albiet early in my drinking career (compared to the catastrophies to come). The only question to be answered was how low was I willing to go until I hit rock bottom and decided to quit? The answer was - pretty low.

It's a pity. I could have saved myseld a lot of time, money, suffering, and effort if I would have quit when I first started questioning if I was an Alcoholic or not. The damage and difficulty of quitting only goes up exponentially the further you go into Alcoholism. The sober life has been infinitely more rewarding and there really is zero downside to not drinking.

Dime

Hi,
Wow hot topic!! After coming here I saw Carol's "Excerpts from "Under The Influence" in the alcoholism section. I picked up a copy of the book and couldn't put it down. The book has a description of four stages of alcoholism. I had never seen that degree of delineation before. It opened my eyes that I was in the early stage many years ago and if I had read that book I could have saved myself a lot of grief. In my early stages friends, employer, family and myself had no idea that there was already a problem.

I picked up a used copy of the book for $5 on e-bay shipped.