yankees24

This weekend there is a birthday party for my sister and my cousin on fire island and i was wondering what you people think about me attending. I know theres gonna be a lot of alcohol there and I am only 16 days away from a drink, but my sister really wants me there as i have missed many family events of the years for obvious reasons.. Now I am sober and feeling better than I have in a long time but I know im gonna feel uncomfortable considering it is a party and feelings arise..Any Advice?

Astro

While it's best to avoid drinking situations in early sobriety, it's also good to be there to support our friends and loved ones. To me, it shows others that we have good intentions and we're committed to our recovery.

Keep a soft drink in your hand at all times, a simple "no" should suffice if someone offers you alcohol. Good luck, enjoy the party.

Taking5

Take an AA friend with you (if you are in AA) and have an exit strategy if you get too uncomfortable.

Mark75

what dgillz said...

Mark

lunarise

Make sure you listen to your gut on this one. Only you know how you will handle this. I would say be careful. If you have to cancel, give your sister the reason, and I am sure she will understand if you choose to take care of yourself first and visit with her later.

Wish you the best...let us know how it goes.

smacked

Bring your own drink.. I'm a root beer fan.

Have an exit strategy.

Even after my 9 months or 10 whatever it is, I am not comfortable being around a bunch of drinking. I only attend important 'occasions', like you're thinking of. I bet you'll be ok.. just think in your mind that it's not even an option, bring something to sip on.. try to have fun.. and maybe just make it a bit short.

Believe808

I agree with this. Also bookend your day, meaning call someone before and after party.

jamdls

I wouldn't go. Perhaps you could visit your sister earlier in the day before everyone arrives. About 5-6 weeks into my sobriety my daughter had a housewarming party, I really was not comfortable going but felt I had to make an appearance. I told my daughter ahead of time that I would only stay for a short time. I arrived about 30 minutes before the party started because I had not seen my daughters new home and visited with her and her family, and I left about 15 minutes after other guests started to arrive; it was very scary for me and I knew that most all the people coming had seen me at one time or another drunk out of my mind so I also felt a lot shame and embarrassment.

stone

I wouldn't go either. You have the rest of your life to be there for your family, you are only 16 days sober.

If I did go I would make sure I had an exit strategy.

hendershot

Everyone's advice is spot on.
Call someone in recovery just before the party and right when you leave--you can explain to them in advance why you need to talk to them.
Exit strategy: Drive yourself. If things get uncomfortable at all don't stick around. It wouldn't be a bad idea to show up late and leave early, just to make an appearance.
You don't get sober to hide in a hole and avoid any contact with alcohol but you need to put your own welfare first. Personally, I would not have been comfortable in that situation at 16 days but sounds more like an obligation than a choice--think about which it is.

yankees24

Thanks to all for giving advice. As for as an exit strategy goes, its on fire island which is only able to reached by ferry from Long Island, so once I am there, I'm there...Im still on the fence about whether to go or not, but I will for sure grab on tight to a water all day if I do..Thanks again for your concern.

four812

if you go to meetings....perhaps a meeting before and after the party is also a good option.

if you want to stay clean more than you want to drink then you can do this no matter what. if it gets too uncomfortable you can leave sooner than you are planning

keep up the good work

Dee74

Some good advice here yankee - it would depend on what type of party it will be for me.

I'm not familiar with Fire Island, but if it's anything like the no holds barred 'drink until you fall down' island parties I've been to, I'd think carefully about your decision, especially when, as you say, you can't leave.

D

JJB

Personally I wouldn't go either
I would put my sobriety first
This isn't being selfish- your family may well already be worried about your drinking and will understand your decision.
Make sure you see your sister at some other time and explain things.
Put your sobriety first
It's in everyone's interest !
Congratulations on 16 days

CarolD

I did stay away from drinkers and boozey places
for about 6 months to protect my early sobriety.

Until I made that difficult decision ...I never stayed sober for long.

I suggest you invite your sister and cousin to celebrate
with you in a non drinking way. I'm sure they want
the best for you and your new sober life.

Well done on your sober days....