Wolfchild

You can read the N.A. IP#12, The Triangle Of Self-Obsession, here;
http://na.org/admin/include/spaw2/up.../IP/EN3112.pdf

It clarifies how anger affects us and our thinking.

nogard

wow Laurie that is so good and boy did I need that reminder today about anger and resentments and doing the footwork and lettging go and letting god.

Thanks you and bless you.

FS you have some diamonds of advoce and support here, I have nothing to add.

Kevin

Tommyh

I usually pray the "sick mans prayer" in chapter 5 of the big book untill I get a different perspective and peace...works if you work it

Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

all big book text taken from the first edition of the big book of alcoholics anonymous

four812

One of the tools I might use is to listen to talkiing cd's by ]
thich nhat hanh
or
pema chodron

both of them also have specific one's about dealing with anger. it is the best stuff on anger I've found.

bugsworth

FS..Anger is a normal human emotion, it is not learned, it is part of what makes us human. Managing anger is the part that is learned...we can lash out or we can diffuse it.
History has taught us that there are many mistakes made in God's world...the question is do we learn from them or repeat them. When we are active in our addiction we manage our anger by drowning it...with out alcohol we need to have other outlets to aid us in diffusing the anger. To say that anger is not something alcoholics can afford is like saying we need to remove part of what makes us human...anger has been a positive vehicle for change thru out history. We need to examine why we are angry and how that anger can be used to make a positive difference. Sometimes the outcome is simply learning how we will let others treat us in the future. For me I always try to gage how important the issue is within the big picture. Will this be important to me in a week...a month...or maybe even next year. Early sobriety is a roller coaster ride of emotions...be patient things always manage to work out one way or another.

Tazman53

Sillybilly it is healthy to feel feelings, but it is crucial for me to learn how to deal with them as well.

If one is an alcoholic like me, who spent a lot of years using alcohol as a solution for the way I felt, I have had to learn to deal with feelings. Anger is a feeling that if I held on to it, did not know how to get beyond it, I would eventually go back to my old solution for anger..... I would drink. For me prolonged, unresolved anger is a MAJOR threat to my sobriety.

What I have learned from the steps, the BB, and people in AA with time sober is how to deal with anger, how to get past it. For me anger used to own me, it made me do things that I regreted, things that at times got me into trouble and that hurt people and myself.

Today I have a solution for anger, yes I still get angry on occasion, but I know how to deal with it now, no one suffers for it, nothing suffers the wrath of my anger any more. I refuse to let anger stay with me and I have the tools today to remove it from my life when it appears, I am far from being a saint, but I am making progress.

SillyBilly

You're right tazman. And I did the same thing for years.

In a way I'm looking forward to the next time I get really angry because I will be presented with the challenge of dealing with it without reaching for the bottle.

Thanks for your reply

firestorm090

Well, my anger ended up putting me in the ER till today, which is why I haven't replied to anyone. My blood pressure went through the roof, my chest hurt like h*ll, so my friend called 911 and I went in Wednesday night, spent the night in er, then my own room for observation for about a day and was released today, with the stipulations that I rest, don't drink even one beer and relax till Monday. After all that prodding, blood pressure checks every hour, intravenous nitroglycerin, I'm much more agreeable to the directions of the doc, lol. When they were removing the lines today, some of my skin came off when the tape was pulled, so now I have a painful reminder of what my anger can cause. I hope it doesn't leave a scar, huh, could that be vanity again.......when will I ever learn??

All of the replies are helping, but I can see it will take time to learn to use all these tools. Being a cabinet-maker, I'm familiar with tools, but don't even qualify as an apprentice when it comes to spiritual stuff. Guess I'm starting at the bottom, so please bear wtih me. This was one hard lesson to learn.

tallcactus

(((Firestorm)))
Been so worry about you, was really wondering when you would reply again, when following this thread. Never did think of the ER, when you mention your chest pain. Glad to know you are okay. Hang in there, stay sober, all will work out. Be kind to yourself.

firestorm090

Hi tallcactus,

Thanks for your concern, I'm ok. I'm too stubborn to let this get to me, but I learned alot from it. Getting out of control with anger just isn't worth it. Besides, the food was dry, cold and lumpy, and left a strange, metallic taste in my mouth, so I don't want to repeat that experience. I'm glad you're still here, we're going to do this sobriety thing, regardless of what it takes!! Being a drunken, angry fool ain't no way to go through life.

SillyBilly

Word.

Glad to have you back with us