1_day@_a_time

There are plenty of meetings I like,

AND

plenty I don't thanks.

I don't want to hear drunkologues.

Yes, it's good to know the person speaking has a drinking problem. Fine, that takes a few minutes at best.

For me, I want to stay in the solution.

How often we hear the horror story........then they say, and now my life is sooooooo good.

Great! BUT, how did you get there?

For me, it's the application of spiritual principles as a way of life that has allowed my to become a whole new person.

Compassion, understanding, tolerance, patience, kindness, flexibility.......to name a few.

On my own, I know little about these principles. If I did, I would have practiced & applied them a loooong time ago.

Here's a great one I enjoy recalling often & helps me greatly:

I'D RATHER BE HAPPY THAN RIGHT

This is what AA has given me. It DID take me some time to find this message, but I'm very grateful I did.........I've learned so much. And I've only just begun.

keithj

I hear quite a bit of that too, and I have a theory on this that took some time to develop. Well, not time really, but some tolerance and open mindedness.

I think that for some people in the rooms, it really is a two step program. They are sharing about their experience. It's absolutely sincere. They have the experience of being out of control drunks, and they have the experience of not drinking. That is the sum total truth of their experience.

Without a doubt, if you drank like I did, there are some real advantages to not drinking. The external conditions of my life improved when I wasn't passing out, waking up in jail, in trouble with my job, getting divorced, screaming at people, vomitting daily, etc. There is real and tangible improvement in one's life when those things are absent. So, those two stories, the summmation of experience, gets shared in meetings.

If that works for someone, then great. Kind of. I think it is a very different experience than the experience you talk about. You talk about a transformed life as the result of the 12 steps. You talk about a spiritual awakening. That is your experience (and mine), and you share that.

On my best days, I think it's great that someone has found what they wanted, even if I believe so much more is available. Hell, it's all I really wanted when I first tried to get sober. On my worst days, I judge them and the whistling in the dark image from page 152 comes to mind. Eating cheese and crackers when a 5 star meal is laid before them. I see hundreds of folks like that fade away before a year goes by. But, everyone is entitled to their own discovery.

My first sponsor used to say that we carry the message we need to hear.

grateful2b

It is good to hear about your journey...
one of the things I love about AA meetings is how diverse the experience is in the rooms, and seeing someone new come in....I never tire of hearing people's stories because I know how important their place is 'right where they are' and although it may seem at times challenging to listen, their share for sure is helping someone else ,or at times me, as well as them. I love the fabric of the rooms and 'all' of it is wonderful if you can be present with an open heart...everyone has a place and a part to play no matter where they are on the path...when I find myself sitting with an inner critical voice...I know that is so much more about me ....
'my' path to sobriety was through my spirituality....there are many paths...
I think the important thing is that these people are sober and grateful and happy to be and that is 'their' story...and thats enough...
we want people to have what we have, but I think what is more important is that they want what they have worked so hard for....

Aysha

Thank you!!!!
I have enough of my own war stories. I dont need to hear about yours.

I like the Rather be happy than right too.
I think sometimes people want to have "thee" right answer so bad they often forget about what really matters.
Just speak from the heart with absolute honesty. Not everyone will agree and not everyone is going to like it.
But it yours and it is what worked for you.
I like to hear all different percpectives of anything in life.

I have said it once and I will say it a million more times.
There is no ONE WAY TO DO ANYTHING!

But there is a RIGHT way.
And to me thats whatever works for you.

SillyBilly

Wow, ok, lot of great posts here. I've been slack with this thread, I didn't quite this many responses, so I'll do my best here to reply and catch up. But I'm on a limited time schedule today (every day now lol) so if I'm not answering your individual posts I'm not being rude.


First of all to the people asking WHY I didn't like AA. I have a new line of thought on the issue for you. I (just my personal feelings) honestly don't see the point in focusing on all the reasons why I don't like the meetings, I'll give you one reason, then I'll tell you what I DID like about it and WHY I'm going back.

I didn't like listening to the speakers talking about their tragic stories. Ok, I'm still in detox and things are going to change, but I would rather listen to how good your life is now, since you've given up the booze. Note; some people did talk about their 'today lives' when sharing, but most people seemed to be focusing on the negative past.

Which is FINE also. Everybody IS different and if it helps them to stay clean and sober by venting at meetings, then I say .. good for them. Keep right on doing it. If it works for you, then work it people!

Now this is what I loved about the meeting and why I'm going back. I found myself 'paying forward' some words of wisdom I heard from another speaker to another newbie on here. I didn't even realise I took anything in until I started writing, then BAM .. epiphany.

So duh, obviously the meeting was good for me because I DID listen, I remember paying very close attention to everything people were saying, and it sank in. The speaker was sharing with a chapter in their life about how they kept moving house all the time to try and get it all together, blaming the location and people wherein. Until they finally realised THEY were the problem, and THEY had to change THEMSELVES.


I had a major spiritual awakening last night. Read about it here - .


And to finalise on this topic, sorry, my personal belief on feeling calm all the time is that it's NOT normal.
I hear people talking about how great it is now they finally have their lives in control and manageable, which is GREAT. I'm uber-happy for you and keep doing what you're doing. I however, feel that life is like a rollercoaster and it has it's ups and downs, we all do, we all have to learn to live with it.

I LOVE feeling happy when I have a genuine reason to feel happy, I LOVE feeling sad when there is a legitimate reason to. I cannot stand artificial 'feelings' anymore, brought on by drugs and alcohol. Besides, when you're off your face all the time there's very little room for reality and you don't feel the full effect of what you should be feeling in the desired situation.

But I don't want to be calm all the time. Not yet anyway, I'm still young. I'm sure when I get a bit older I'll crave contentment and calmness, but for now, it's time to throw that bottle away and make up for a lot of lost time. I'm going to go absolutely bananas on you world and everyone in it. Watch the f*ck out because here I come universe

CarolD

had a major spiritual awakening last night

What great news.....