Newbie with white knuckles
 

Hi,

I'm new here and on Day 27 of sobriety. So far just white-knuckling it and taking Antabuse to deter me from drinking, but I'm starting to crave the booze more rather than less as time goes by and realized additional support was needed if I'm going to make it. I've tried AA in the past, and had mixed results. I'm going to give another meeting a try tonight though.

I'm not really good with people so I don't have a lot of real time support. I was a closet drinker so even those who are close to me don't realize I have stopped because they never knew I was drinking as much as I did (hence the reason I spent most of my time alone and the reason I am now coming to the unsettling realization that I literally have no life outside the booze.)

I'm 35 and have been in and out of rehabs and AA since I was 16. I'm currently in graduate school though on summer break, and for the past 20 years my life has pretty much consisted of drinking, writing fiction and reading. That's it. Being sober, I now have a ton more time but no idea how to use it and am definitely not liking the loneliness.

Welcome Ripley. Great job on 27 days! I use to think early in sobriety I was lonely but I realized when I was in active addiction I was more alone than I had ever been. Sobriety takes some time getting use to...it takes effort to move beyond your comfort zone but with time things do fall into place.

Welcome and thank you for staying sober today!!

i had alot of time on my hands in early recovery too. i made it a point to go to as many meetings as possible, read at least three chapters of the Basic Text(NA) daily, and hang out with other recovering addicts every chance i had.

Easy does it and keep moving forward Step by Step!!

Welcome! I also wasn't able to stay sober until I was willing to do anything to stay that way. Glad you're looking at your options. I'm not an AA person, but I went to about 5 months of IOP 1:1 counseling, and I'm really happy that I didn't try it alone.. I was never really good at that part :)

Welcome!

I think you're finding that stopping the drinking is the beginning of the journey. This is when the hard work begins. I drank at home, alone, too and had cut myself off from everyone I knew as my drinking escalated. So, I really felt like I had to look deep inside and figure out what I wanted to do. I began my spiritual journey.

Hi,

Congrats on your 27 days.

I know what you're saying about being lonely and having tons of time. I just stopped pretty recently myself, about 7 weeks ago, after drinking heavily for 5 years. The first few weeks, I had no plan, no idea what to do. Slowly, I am starting to realize there are TONS of things to do. It doesn't come to you in a day, but slowly you will start finding things you actually like and that might interest you. I know I still have some fuzzy thinking at times, but it will get better.

I joined the gym and I am starting a summer course at the Community College next month. I am also finding new hobbies I like and new interests. It's just important you stick with it.

As far as AA, I have mixed feelings about it. I attended a few meetings that I wasn't crazy about. I believe it's the meeting you attend also. Some are probably real good and some are bad, like anything else. I am thinking of giving it one more shot this week. If it's not for you there are other alternatives :)

Most importantly, you will have time now to develop a relationship with yourself. I am still working on this. It takes time. Finding a good therapist would be very beneficial to you. I am still in the process of finding a good one, it takes some time. Keep posting and reading here, it's extremely helpful and everyone is very supportive.

"I'm not really good with people..."

Make it a goal to change that.

Become good with people in AA, they'll understand you.

Courage... is being scared and giving it your best shot anyhow.

Remember - nothing changes if nothing changes. ;)

I really like that quote.

So congrats on 27 days and here's to your recovery!:c014:

Back to staying sober again
 

Hi Everyone, I was sober for 4 months back in 2007, then I thought I could drink again. I lost my job in January of this year and found my self with to much time to think even though I renovated my house over the last few months. I would wait for my Wife and Son to leave for the day and then when the beer store opened pick up a six pack of tall boys, drink them during the day and get rid of the cans before they got home. Always felt like a idiot afterwards and usually the next day didn't get much done. The meetings don't really work for me either. And I find that the hardest part for me is just understanding that drinking is not good for me, I say stupid things when drinking, waste so much valuable time (life is so short to be drunk and stupid). I don't want to have any more blackouts and be terrified the next day that maybe I have done something that can't be fixed. Well thanks for listening to me today on day two of being sober.

Talk soon,

Rob

Welcome to SR Ripley :)

Time does hang heavy in early recovery - I just tried to keep busy - spent a lot of time here too :)

hope to see you around more
D

hello ripley, i am also new here, never imagined it would actually help me as much as it has. a lot of support from people of all different walks of life, but with SO much in common. you are not alone, as i thought and felt i've been for years. i was always to ashamed to ask for help, i convinced myself i was strong enough to beat it on my own---just like i was strong enough to convince myself it was ok to have a drink!!! for the first time ever i feel i can finally beat this, WITH SUPPORT!!! don't give up, keep fighting, and allow yourself to receive help:)

i also was on antabuse to try to quit drinking. it helped a little at first, but then i would drink on it anyway because i got desperate enough to ignore how ill it made me. i hope you have better luck on it, and 27 days, wow. wonderful!

Congratulations on your sober time....Welcome!
:wavey:

Hi Ripley, I'm not a big fan of antibuse. But since we're not to talk meds here I won't say anymore. I'd suggest you seriously try AA for a while. You said that you're tried it before, but this time stick around. Let them know you're new to the program and need help. They'll be all over you with phone numbers, names and lots of support. And go to several different meetings so you get different perspectives on things. And good luck to you.

Fill up your time with a hobby and get lost in it. Boredom is a sobriety-killer.


I'm doing photography because I like it and it relieves my stress.

I'm finding that for me it's important to keep very busy. I'll go to work through the day, come home and then go back out again to take pictures. By the time I come back in and fiddle around on the computer for a little bit, I'm so tired I fall asleep sober.

The more I keep busy the less I think about things that bother me.

It's hard to get motivated in the beginning. Find something you really enjoy and incorporate it into your daily activities.

Welcome and congrats on your clean time

LA has some great AA. If you shop around the meetings and give yourself a chance you should find a niche. "I'm not really good with people" is not a good attitude to have in approaching AA and it sabotoges any chance of acquiring a long-term support group. I thought the exact same thing when I first started going to meetings but over I found that it was not healthy to focus on any deficits I may have in social skills. Rather, just go to meetings, even when you really don't want too, don't hide in the meetings, and over time you will make important connections. If you are really serious about recovery you cannot do it alone. Recovery is about being safe but not alone. This idea seemed antithetical to me at first. But being alone is where I did most of drinking and sinking into oblivion. Being with other people, especially other alcoholics and addicts, is a great safety-net even if this is uncomfortable or doesn't come naturally. Best of luck.