Story of my lifee
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 15
Story of my lifee
I was born into a middle class, suburban family.
I have 2 siblings, an older brother with autism and aspergers. I have a younger sister too. My father has OCD. And my mother suffers from depression. Growing up I didn't have a brutal life, things did get bad at some points. When I was 10 my mom tried to kill herself, and a couple months later my grandma (who is more like a mother to me) died. Then when I was 12 I was raped, and a couple months later I tried to kill myself. I didn't succeed obviously. No one said or did anything, just let me be. At that point in my life, I didnt want to think anymore, it just hurt so much, and I couldn't tell anyone what had happened to me. I was also confused about my sexuality but when you're 12 you don't really understand what it is. I thought something was wrong with me. So when I was 13 I started cutting. For awhile this worked, but then i needed to cut deeper and alot more. So when I was 14 I again tried to kill myself. This time I was admitted to the hospital and stayed in the psych ward for 2 weeks. When I got out I was put on anti depressents and I didn't feel that they worked. Everyone basically swept it under the rug. Then I started smoking weed. Everyday all day. Then I moved on the E, and then I moved on to crank. At this point I had dropped out of high school. I tried multiple times to get sober on my own, but just couldn't do it, and while I was using I was sexually assulted which did not help. So eventually I wound up in rehab. THat was the best thing that ever happened to me, but the staff told me I couldn't go back home, because it would not be a healthy environment. All my life my parents were breaking their promises of getting help for their issues, and taking their meds, and I really wanted to believe them one more time. So I decided to go home, and now I realize I made a huge mistake. it's just like it was before. My mom always working, or god knows where else. My dad always mad screaming at us kids, us kids walking on eggshells. Also when u get out, you basically have to start new, with no friends. I'm trying my best to stay clean, but this is soo hard. I'm trying to get a job so that I can move out. Hopefully that happens. So if u actually read this, thank-you for taking the time to. It means alot
I have 2 siblings, an older brother with autism and aspergers. I have a younger sister too. My father has OCD. And my mother suffers from depression. Growing up I didn't have a brutal life, things did get bad at some points. When I was 10 my mom tried to kill herself, and a couple months later my grandma (who is more like a mother to me) died. Then when I was 12 I was raped, and a couple months later I tried to kill myself. I didn't succeed obviously. No one said or did anything, just let me be. At that point in my life, I didnt want to think anymore, it just hurt so much, and I couldn't tell anyone what had happened to me. I was also confused about my sexuality but when you're 12 you don't really understand what it is. I thought something was wrong with me. So when I was 13 I started cutting. For awhile this worked, but then i needed to cut deeper and alot more. So when I was 14 I again tried to kill myself. This time I was admitted to the hospital and stayed in the psych ward for 2 weeks. When I got out I was put on anti depressents and I didn't feel that they worked. Everyone basically swept it under the rug. Then I started smoking weed. Everyday all day. Then I moved on the E, and then I moved on to crank. At this point I had dropped out of high school. I tried multiple times to get sober on my own, but just couldn't do it, and while I was using I was sexually assulted which did not help. So eventually I wound up in rehab. THat was the best thing that ever happened to me, but the staff told me I couldn't go back home, because it would not be a healthy environment. All my life my parents were breaking their promises of getting help for their issues, and taking their meds, and I really wanted to believe them one more time. So I decided to go home, and now I realize I made a huge mistake. it's just like it was before. My mom always working, or god knows where else. My dad always mad screaming at us kids, us kids walking on eggshells. Also when u get out, you basically have to start new, with no friends. I'm trying my best to stay clean, but this is soo hard. I'm trying to get a job so that I can move out. Hopefully that happens. So if u actually read this, thank-you for taking the time to. It means alot
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Wow.. that's a mirror version of my teen years... other than I was in foster care.
If you're able to get your job, and a place, and get out, you'll feel 100x healthier and stronger I bet.
Feel free to PM me.
If you're able to get your job, and a place, and get out, you'll feel 100x healthier and stronger I bet.
Feel free to PM me.
hmm....
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 45
Hi and welcome 
Also some very harsh similarities with my teen years...
drug/alcohol abuse, self harm, sexual assualt, crazy parents etc.
I hope you find that job asap, get your independance, and in the mean time remain sober.
Also some very harsh similarities with my teen years...
drug/alcohol abuse, self harm, sexual assualt, crazy parents etc.
I hope you find that job asap, get your independance, and in the mean time remain sober.
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