Pros and Cons of the SR site
 

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I'm wondering what the pros and cons of this site is. Does it help? I suppose if you're here posting regularly then it does.

To give you a bit of background: I'm an adult child of a (recovering) alcoholic, and also a student in the family counseling field. Just wanting to see what good these types of online support do and maybe get some advice/support for myself.

Thanks!

You will find out alot of information just poking around the forum, chat room, and blogs. I find the SR site to be very helpful. It is super convienient and availiable 24/7 and it's free. It doesn't replace AA meetings but it can be a very good supplement.

We have a forum for adult children of addicts/alcoholics. You will find a wealth of helpful information and some pretty great people there.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...holic-parents/

Welcome to SR!

Welcome to our recovery community......:wavey:

I find SR an informative resource to my local AA program.
Our members are truly here for support and fun too
:yup:

Glad you decided to join us

Welcome!

SR is an amazing place.

Hi Emmy. Is this site helpful? Absolutely. I can't see any cons right off the bat and if you stick around you'll see the pros. If you haven't already, sit in on some AA meetings.

We get to support each other in ways that are different and similar to AA. Many topics that may not be appropriately or easily shared in a face to face setting, either because an individual doesn't feel comfortable or because a meeting format doesn't accommodate it, can be easily shared here. Many newly recovering or potentially recovering individuals who don't know who or even what to ask about recovery programs can get information, and more importantly, encouragement in a non threatening environment. Day to day trials and tribulations are often discussed and are in fact, welcomed, here. More intellectual discussions and examinations of different recovery programs and philosophies can be had as well.

For me, AA is the most important recovery tool I have. But it is so nice to have a diverse group of people to discuss recovery issues with, any time of the day. Also, it is important for recovering individuals to "pay it forward" or give back their experience strength and hope to other recovering individuals. This format easily allows for that, although, IMHO, doesn't replace face to face interaction, or service.

If you really want to understand online support for recovering people, you should experience and understand face to face support... it's very different, complimentary, but different... go to some AA or ACoA meetings, you'll see :).

Mark

Some "cons" as I see it...

We don't have face to face interaction and therefore subtle visual clues are absent and the meaning of the post may be misunderstood.

It can get a little addicting in and of itself.

It doesn't get people outside their comfort zone as much as face to face support and for that reason may not allow for the kind of growth that comes from real interpersonal interaction.

It does not allow for the type of service that true service commitments do... driving people to meetings, taking meetings to others (prisons) or just going early to make coffee and talk face to face with others.

These "cons" are really not important to me, because, as I mentioned, I also attend AA.

Mark

This site might well have saved my life. I despise dogma, don't believe in God, can't stand slogans, need to figure things out for myself, loathe ritual, turned off by any hint of self-righteousness -- in short, AA is not for me. Not to say that AA's a bad thing -- anything that keeps people off the booze and gets them on the road to healing is good -- but it doesn't work for me. In the past 13 years, I've never been sober for as long as I have since I found this place (two weeks today -- YEAH!!!).

Here I found information, found support without all the ritual and gobbledygook. For me it's been godsend (so to speak), but I'm still a newb.

Hi Emmy :)

Welcome - like Surviveit said, I credit this place with saving my life - I've been here and sober 2 years and counting....

Each to their own - but I don't feel my recovery, my growth, or my service work is any less for being online :)

Hope you stick around!
D

Hi Emmy and welcome to SR!

This blessed place has changed my life..I am proud to be part of the magic that takes place here on a daily basis...I get out of SR what I put into it..and it is a big part of my program of recovery...
glad you've come to join us:)

damn, ... see it can be really easy to step on toes around here, but that's ok (sorry dee and anyone else I may offend) because it is the diverse nature of the community that makes it that way, which is a good thing... please notice I discussed the service opportunities in my first post as a "pro"... for the program I am working, though, it doesn't completely make it, for several reasons... for others, it is just fine...

oh well, I shouldn't have responded, I'm still a relative newcomer to the online world...

So, I'll just chalk this up as an opportunity for growth!

Mark

Hey, Cubile, you didn't step on my toes. I thought all your cons were on-target. The real world is still where we live, but this little corner of the online world has been really helpful for me.

(And I really hope I didn't step on anyone's toes with my previous comment. AA's awesome! Not for everyone, though... I speak, unfortunately, from experience.)

Whatever works and to each their own.

SR seems pretty much the same as f2f to me...but then i treat it that way and i think that makes a difference.

If i reach out and develope relatinships here they are just as real and helpful as f2f.

one of the up sides for me of SR has been that i am able somehow to be more real here than i can be in person. I seem to find me here, and then it spreads into my face to face interactions after alot of practice here :)

The biggest down side for me with SR is that I cant really hug my friends when they are in pain or exited and just need one :(

Over all SR is pretty much like the real world..you get out of it what you put into it.

I think that is right on the mark, Mark:c031:

The fear of upsetting people unintentional actually has a upside for me. I am by nature a pretty honest person, and I have a big mouth. Lots of times I have to bite my tongue in here to avoid potentially upsetting people, and for me it is a really good skill to practice :dance8:

That being said, SR is pretty much my main (maybe only) form of sobriety support and I am learning tons here and meeting super people!

I so agree with nanda on that.
It really is no different to me.
And actually. I am less likely to hold back here. But at the same time. I treat everything and everyone here like it is. Real human beings with real issues and real everything.
Alot of people get blinded by the faceless contact. I dont.
I am not attached to seeing someone physically. I relate to people more for who they are and their personality and all the stuff you dont need to see to learn.
SR has also saved me more ways than I can count. The friendships I have built here is amazing. The bonds, trust, forgiveness, and understanding is amazing.
I am more in touch with this online community than I have been with most people f2f anywhere at any time.

I believe its all due to not having that physical distraction. You get to know each other by who they are. Whats on the inside. It makes me tune in more because I have to figure out what the tone is and what the expressions may be. You know?
And this is alot more effective because I think we all have a chance to think most of the time before we react or talk.
If I say or do something on a spur of the moment type of thing. I can always come back later and fix that. And I have time to rethink and rationalize.

The con is def not being able to meet my friends here and being able to hug them and be there for them f2f when they need it. There is nothing that could ever replace that physical comfort sometimes.

And maybe you get the rare few that use this online anonominity to play games and just BS people. But to me those people are only hurting themselves. I am a pretty good judge of character. Even without meeting someone f2f.
I think most of us are.

Other than that. I am cool with it. I love SR. Without it I couldnt even tell you where I would be.
This place gives me the hope and motivation I need. The understanding and support that keeps me wanting to keep trying.

I love SR and all my friends here. I would do anything I could for any of you.

The pro is: I have experienced a huge load of experience from a multitude of SR members that work a variety of addiction treatment strategies. Something I couldn't get from the attendance of a singular addiction treatment modality.

The con is: I need people to see me in F2F treatment. Not matter how or what I say online here at SR, nothing can say the whole story other by looking at me. Because I'm the kind of addict that a picture is worth more than all the words that come out of my mouth...or fingers on a keyboard. To know the picture of addiction is to see me...and it ant pretty.

And for those that thought nobody noticed you were an addict or alcoholic by your looks...yea right...LOL.

No toes stepped on here either, Cubile :)

For what its worth I think we have all to work hard at our recovery, at being honest, at being understood and at not being complacent, no matter what kind of interaction we have...I think that's a given across the board...excuse the pun lol

And I do think it's probably harder to do that when you're online. You have to police yourself, essentially, and that's not always our best quality. But it is possible :)

SR is the best place I've found online, and the best place to help others too.

And when we have miscommunication, or even when we do disagree, as will happen on any forum boards, it's nice to sort it out like this LOL :240:

D

cons..........the americans dont get up when i want them to.

and at weekends i have to wait till at least lunchtime till any of them want to come out and play....:lmao

dee has the cheek to be nearly a day ahead of me.....:tapping

other than that there isnt any cons.........

the pros.........great support.......great friendship...good debate....good feedback.

seriously.........cubile pointed out a very valid point....because it isnt face to face.....sometimes posts can be read in a context NOT intended by the poster.....exspect the odd cat fight....all good natured of course.

trucker.....

Cubile,
I loved your post. This is exactly how I feel.
I love SR and very grateful that it has been a part of my recovery since 30 days sober or so.

But I need my sponsor and my f2f support. I need to work the 12 steps with my sponsor, I need to help other alcoholics f2f, I need to be of service. And

I am SO very grateful for both. :c033: