New here-- please help me or guide me
 

Hello,

Hopefully, I am posting in the right place.

I have been searching for some kind of support group for family members and trying to understand about painkiller addiction.

I'm afraid to give too much info here--but let's just say that my grown daughter is in BIG, big trouble. Never in trouble before-- but she is certainly in trouble now... and I am going crazy--wondering if she will get treatment or ......... shall we say " serious time".

Anyway, to make a long story short as I can--- I knew in the past there was a problem, but she assured me it wasn't a problem anymore. She has lived with me for the past year---- I knew she was depressed, but I didn't know how serious this addiction was---until she got busted.

Got her out the next day--- and kept her busy, busy for about 2 or 3 weeks.NA meetings, seeking help everywhere, getting an excellent mental health counselor and getting a lawyer (she is paying for the lawyer)
As far as I know--she has been clean since that day--- (about a month ago) and I believe that was her hitting rock bottom. She lost her job, career after 11 years. Lost everything basically and we are still wondering what in the world will happen.

I have my prescribed meds locked away safe.

I find myself feeling guilty over all of this---- because I KNEW there was a problem in the past and I should have seen the clues... but she kept telling me she was just tired....Dang! Why didn't I see this?? Guess I just closed my eyes and didn't want to know..

Since this "incident"--- she has opened up to me-- almost like a new person--- but perhaps she was so glad to be home.. We get along pretty good and I just try to love her and be gentle with her.... She doesn't see me when I am venting or crying---what good would that do??

But this was been over a month and some days she is just cranky or irritable..

I am trying to understand drug addiction--- I know alot about nicotine addiction---- but this type of addiction is crazy.......... She is very intelligent.... so why would she be so stupid ??

I need some advice or some words of wisdom...

Please help??

Hi and welcome to SR!

I, too am a parent of an adult child dealing with addiction...and I understand....
we have a forum here for families of substance abusers that is very supportive and many there understand your spot...
here is the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

also, I would recommend that you seek out face to face support for yourself..
Naranon is a support group that can help you understand the journey you are on and give you the tools you need to move forward ....I wish you all the best...hugs, Grateful

Welcome!

Addiction isn't about being stupid.

Addiction is not a character defect, it's a disease.

I am so glad you are seeking support for yourself.

Thank you for this link..

Is this link where I should post???

Thanks for your time..

you are welcome to continue to post here and there in Families, you will find many people on the path you are on; all at various stages of the journey and with much wisdom to share:)

Of course, you can continue to post here with the Newcomers, or in the other forums.

Either way, you will find support and information.

You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it! I am an end stage alcoholic 8 months sober and I will never admit to a drinking problem because I can drink just fine, it's sobriety I have a problem with! LOL!

Ohhhhdear, your daughter is not stupid, not knowing her story I can only assume that she made a mistake and got hooked. Trust me I did not decide when I was a kid "Hey I think I will grow up and become an alcoholic, nor did your daughter decide "Hey I think I will become an addict!"

You are not responsile for her addiction and sad to say but you are not responsible for her recovering, you can help her by supporting her but not enabling her.

You have recieved some darn good advice, go to Naranon and learn how others who are relatives and friends of addicts deal with this. Check out the Family & Friends forum here, a lot of good people there.

Know that your daughter is not alone and intelligence, education, occupation, nor any other factor makes anyone less or more prone to addictions, addiction is no different then alcoholism, it does not care who you are or what you know.

Good luck to both you and your daughter in this journey, post where you please here, you will find support and answers in every forum.

Welcome to SR maybe you'll want to look around other forums when you feel comfortable enough with newcomers.

OhhDear, just wondered if you'd had teh chance to look at some of the friends and family threads and see if anything helps you right now?

Welcome to the community and please don't blame yourself for someone else's actions. Take it easy, addiction is something that damages a persons mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual condition. It's great that your willing to help her in whatever way you can, but you shouldn't do so at the expense of your own stability. Let her find her way with recovery and pay attention to her overall condition. Try not to get caught up in the temporary details of what might be going on inside her. Let her be how she needs to be and hang onto the support that is freely offered to you here at SR. Keep posting about it and you won't give your frustrations a chance to build up and do you harm.