Not yet Sober, but I need to be
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: MidSouth USA
Posts: 8
Not yet Sober, but I need to be
Hi Everyone. This is my first time here. I have not set a date yet to become sober, but I have realized that I need too and soon.
I have been drinking just about every night for more than 2 years. I have blackouts more than once a week and wake up every morning around 4 (I suppose that's when the alcohol wears off) either trying to remember the night before or laying there feeling guilty and trying to return to sleep.
I have depression and anxiety, no meds help; but that is prolly due to my drinking. I don't drink during the day, but I do drink heavily (liquor) at night.
I don't go to bars, I drink at home only. I have hidden this from most of the ppl in my life other than my DH. He has shown his concern for my habit for awhile, but is not the type of person to push. He drinks as well, but not to the extent that I do.
I guess my first question is how to start the recovery process? Can I do this on my own without drs. or meetings? I can come up with excuses for not setting a sober date by the time the afternoon rolls around, so how do I set a date and stick with it?
Thanks for any help/advice you can give!
I have been drinking just about every night for more than 2 years. I have blackouts more than once a week and wake up every morning around 4 (I suppose that's when the alcohol wears off) either trying to remember the night before or laying there feeling guilty and trying to return to sleep.
I have depression and anxiety, no meds help; but that is prolly due to my drinking. I don't drink during the day, but I do drink heavily (liquor) at night.
I don't go to bars, I drink at home only. I have hidden this from most of the ppl in my life other than my DH. He has shown his concern for my habit for awhile, but is not the type of person to push. He drinks as well, but not to the extent that I do.
I guess my first question is how to start the recovery process? Can I do this on my own without drs. or meetings? I can come up with excuses for not setting a sober date by the time the afternoon rolls around, so how do I set a date and stick with it?
Thanks for any help/advice you can give!
Sober since 9th May 2008
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
Tomorrow's a good day Navarri, or even today if you've not started drinking yet.
All the planning in the world doesn't make it any easier I don't think, the withdrawels normally only last a few days though and the sooner you get them done the sooner you get on with the rest of your life.
You can try meetings or do it on your own, there is no right or wrongs its whats right for you.
I did it on my own but others prefer the face to face support meetings give you.
Stay safe though, if you feel unwell please consult your doctor.
The only way to stop drinking, is to stop drinking, if that makes sense, I and probably many others wasted years trying to stop drinking while still drinking every night, doesn't make much sense when I think about it.
Good luck
All the planning in the world doesn't make it any easier I don't think, the withdrawels normally only last a few days though and the sooner you get them done the sooner you get on with the rest of your life.
You can try meetings or do it on your own, there is no right or wrongs its whats right for you.
I did it on my own but others prefer the face to face support meetings give you.
Stay safe though, if you feel unwell please consult your doctor.
The only way to stop drinking, is to stop drinking, if that makes sense, I and probably many others wasted years trying to stop drinking while still drinking every night, doesn't make much sense when I think about it.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
Hi Navarri,
I know exactly what your feeling. Today is day 1 for me, you should join me!!! =)
There is a lot of valuable information on these boards and I am sure in a bit some of the "elders" will come by to welcome you and give you some amazing advice.
Welcome and hope to see you around here more often!!!
~jade19
I know exactly what your feeling. Today is day 1 for me, you should join me!!! =)
There is a lot of valuable information on these boards and I am sure in a bit some of the "elders" will come by to welcome you and give you some amazing advice.
Welcome and hope to see you around here more often!!!
~jade19
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
My date got set for me after I was "trying" to set a quit date for 2 weeks.
I hope that does not happen to you!
Why would you ever want to do that?
To make it harder on yourself?
Physically Dangerous?
Diminish the chance to really stop?
Please seek support. You are doing that here! But seeing a doctor and getting outside face to face support is so important. I could not have done this alone.
I SO relate to your story.
Please let us know what we can do to help.
And welcome!
I hope that does not happen to you!
Can I do this on my own without drs. or meetings?
To make it harder on yourself?
Physically Dangerous?
Diminish the chance to really stop?
Please seek support. You are doing that here! But seeing a doctor and getting outside face to face support is so important. I could not have done this alone.
I SO relate to your story.
Please let us know what we can do to help.
And welcome!
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I did the same thing.. set a "date" for a few years.. and I nearly died.
Read the sticky at the top of the Alcoholism page.. "how to quit, what we did"
Detoxing can be fatal without medical assistance.
ER, Salvation Army, talking HONESTLY with your doctor..
The best way to stop drinking, is to actually stop.
Read the sticky at the top of the Alcoholism page.. "how to quit, what we did"
Detoxing can be fatal without medical assistance.
ER, Salvation Army, talking HONESTLY with your doctor..
The best way to stop drinking, is to actually stop.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Hi,
You can recover without meetings, but you should talk to your dr about stopping drinking, because it can be dangerous.
That said, it's as simple and as hard as not drinking that moment and then dealing with the next moment when it comes along. Don't worry about setting a date. Just stop. You can do it and we are here to support you!
You can recover without meetings, but you should talk to your dr about stopping drinking, because it can be dangerous.
That said, it's as simple and as hard as not drinking that moment and then dealing with the next moment when it comes along. Don't worry about setting a date. Just stop. You can do it and we are here to support you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello navari and welcome.good decision to quit,,why not just put it down,,if you are through with it throw any you have laeft down the sink.i was what i would call hopeless,,drank alcoholicaly for 20yrs,,im now happy and peaceful.i dont drink just for today and then do the same again the next day,,dont think of it for the rest of your life,just for today.i couldnt stop on my own,i tried many times and failed,it just didnt last and i was downright miserable.im in AA and my life has changed so much.i joined sr at the begining of the year and this place and the folk here are a fabulous support.i wish you well in whatever path you choose to take.keep us posted.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Setting a date is prolonging the agony. Stop now. See your doctor and let him (or her) know what's going on. Detoxing is best done under some medical supervision. Can you do it without a doctor or AA? Maybe. But why not take advantage of help when it's so readily available. But stop putting it off. You'll keep moving the dates and never stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Sask
Posts: 117
Good for you on your decision to quit. I'm 12 days sober today. If you check out my thread called "newcomer.AGAIN" you can follow my progress, and see what to expect. It will be the best thing you have ever done, I assure you!!
eng.
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Bulgaria
Posts: 73
Just don`t drink today 
... I was in same situation before 2 months after 5 years hard drinking every day(night) , no meds . Be ready for first hard days weeks , drink vitamins ,regular food , chocolate . If you want to stop stronger than everything , you can do it . Be thankful for every sober day . Good luck!
... I was in same situation before 2 months after 5 years hard drinking every day(night) , no meds . Be ready for first hard days weeks , drink vitamins ,regular food , chocolate . If you want to stop stronger than everything , you can do it . Be thankful for every sober day . Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Originally Posted by smacked 
I did the same thing.. set a "date" for a few years.. and I nearly died.
Read the sticky at the top of the Alcoholism page.. "how to quit, what we did"
Detoxing can be fatal without medical assistance.
ER, Salvation Army, talking HONESTLY with your doctor..
The best way to stop drinking, is to actually stop.
Read the sticky at the top of the Alcoholism page.. "how to quit, what we did"
Detoxing can be fatal without medical assistance.
ER, Salvation Army, talking HONESTLY with your doctor..
The best way to stop drinking, is to actually stop.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Please read this link....blackouts are discussed
but I think you will find a lot of interesting information
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
The thread above that link also has a lot for
you to consider. Do read it too.
Depression is why I began AA recovery.
Mine was situational....by the end of 2 months
it had vanished....
Welcome to our recovery community
but I think you will find a lot of interesting information
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
The thread above that link also has a lot for
you to consider. Do read it too.
Depression is why I began AA recovery.
Mine was situational....by the end of 2 months
it had vanished....
Welcome to our recovery community
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Navarri welcome to SR.
Can you do it on your own? I can not, nor would I dream of telling you you can.
I will tell you that some people can quit on their own.... some people.
I and millions of other alcoholics have not been able to quit on thier own, the majority of alcoholics use some sort of support program.
Millions of alcoholics die every year because they refuse to get help. I spent many years trying to quit alone, I finally reached the point where I had to admit "I can not quit, I do not know how to stop drinking and stay stopped.
Have you tried quitting on your own?
I tried and failed hundreds of times, what it led me to was total physical addicition to alcohol, I had to drink every day or bad things physically started to happen to me.
I reached this point because I tried to stop on my own but could not.
Once I was medically detoxed I admitted I could not stay stopped alone, what I have found is that it was not only possible for me to stay stopped, so I went to AA, I have made many life long sober freinds, friends that I can call on at any hour of the day or night and they will be there for me no matter what. These people share with me how they stay sober and how they live a sober and happy life today with out alcohol.
Can you do it on your own?
Maybe, maybe not, most people, the vast majority of people with some long term sobriety do use some recovery program and support system.
Why in the world battle something fatal alone when one can have the Experience, Strength, & hope of others?
I found that the only thing that ended my active alcoholism was AA, the combination of the program of AA (the 12 steps), the fellowship of AA (the support group), & my Higher Power of my choice & understanding.
There is no better day then today to stop drinking, please see your doctor ASAP and be honest with your doctor, detoxing from alcohol can kill and a doctor can over see your detox and make it far easier.
Try it on your own, you may very well be one of the few who can quit, but if you find you can not stop and stay stopped I encourage you to look at the folks here on this board and seek advice on different programs and find one that works for you.
Can you do it on your own? I can not, nor would I dream of telling you you can.
I will tell you that some people can quit on their own.... some people.
I and millions of other alcoholics have not been able to quit on thier own, the majority of alcoholics use some sort of support program.
Millions of alcoholics die every year because they refuse to get help. I spent many years trying to quit alone, I finally reached the point where I had to admit "I can not quit, I do not know how to stop drinking and stay stopped.
Have you tried quitting on your own?
I tried and failed hundreds of times, what it led me to was total physical addicition to alcohol, I had to drink every day or bad things physically started to happen to me.
I reached this point because I tried to stop on my own but could not.
Once I was medically detoxed I admitted I could not stay stopped alone, what I have found is that it was not only possible for me to stay stopped, so I went to AA, I have made many life long sober freinds, friends that I can call on at any hour of the day or night and they will be there for me no matter what. These people share with me how they stay sober and how they live a sober and happy life today with out alcohol.
Can you do it on your own?
Maybe, maybe not, most people, the vast majority of people with some long term sobriety do use some recovery program and support system.
Why in the world battle something fatal alone when one can have the Experience, Strength, & hope of others?
I found that the only thing that ended my active alcoholism was AA, the combination of the program of AA (the 12 steps), the fellowship of AA (the support group), & my Higher Power of my choice & understanding.
There is no better day then today to stop drinking, please see your doctor ASAP and be honest with your doctor, detoxing from alcohol can kill and a doctor can over see your detox and make it far easier.
Try it on your own, you may very well be one of the few who can quit, but if you find you can not stop and stay stopped I encourage you to look at the folks here on this board and seek advice on different programs and find one that works for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: MidSouth USA
Posts: 8
Thanks to everyone!
I want to do this. I drank last night and kept thinking this doesn't even taste good anymore. It's just something that I do every night at this point. I have been trying to start later each night and all that does is make me watch the clock.
I love all of the well informed, supportive, and positive people that post on this forum. I have found so much information regarding vitamins and foods that will help me.
I do want this, but I am scared. What happens when the clock hits ?:00 and I wanna drink? I don't know, but I'm willing to try this.
I want to do this. I drank last night and kept thinking this doesn't even taste good anymore. It's just something that I do every night at this point. I have been trying to start later each night and all that does is make me watch the clock.
I love all of the well informed, supportive, and positive people that post on this forum. I have found so much information regarding vitamins and foods that will help me.
I do want this, but I am scared. What happens when the clock hits ?:00 and I wanna drink? I don't know, but I'm willing to try this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: netherlands
Posts: 3
strength in numbers
Hi Navarri.
I,m going through much of the same at the moment been trying to stop for so long now and even though my life become unmanagable and my health is deteriorating and I,m losing friends and up to my eyeballs in debt ,business is sliding away from me, I still keep drinking ,using as the excuse that I drink to get to sleep coz I worry and have got loads of stress.(every night for the last 2 years)
Well this morning is my first day and I,m going for just a 24 hour period for now ,if it works then I will try the same tomorrow I wont be trying to do it without support because I,ve done that a hundred times and not even lasted a week.
So I,m now planning my 1st meeting as (relapsed)newcomer and it will be as soon as can get to one.I have used the serenity prayer loads today and it sems to be if you ask for help you get it ,,but you have to ask.good luck to you and also all the others out there struggling with this illness of alchoholism.
I have not been a liquor drinker beer was my choice but I dont think it matters very much, we,re all affected in the same ways .
:praying
I,m going through much of the same at the moment been trying to stop for so long now and even though my life become unmanagable and my health is deteriorating and I,m losing friends and up to my eyeballs in debt ,business is sliding away from me, I still keep drinking ,using as the excuse that I drink to get to sleep coz I worry and have got loads of stress.(every night for the last 2 years)
Well this morning is my first day and I,m going for just a 24 hour period for now ,if it works then I will try the same tomorrow I wont be trying to do it without support because I,ve done that a hundred times and not even lasted a week.
So I,m now planning my 1st meeting as (relapsed)newcomer and it will be as soon as can get to one.I have used the serenity prayer loads today and it sems to be if you ask for help you get it ,,but you have to ask.good luck to you and also all the others out there struggling with this illness of alchoholism.
I have not been a liquor drinker beer was my choice but I dont think it matters very much, we,re all affected in the same ways .
:praying
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 373
Originally Posted by givemetoday
Hi Navarri.
I,m going through much of the same at the moment been trying to stop for so long now and even though my life become unmanagable and my health is deteriorating and I,m losing friends and up to my eyeballs in debt ,business is sliding away from me, I still keep drinking ,using as the excuse that I drink to get to sleep coz I worry and have got loads of stress.(every night for the last 2 years)
Well this morning is my first day and I,m going for just a 24 hour period for now ,if it works then I will try the same tomorrow I wont be trying to do it without support because I,ve done that a hundred times and not even lasted a week.
So I,m now planning my 1st meeting as (relapsed)newcomer and it will be as soon as can get to one.I have used the serenity prayer loads today and it sems to be if you ask for help you get it ,,but you have to ask.good luck to you and also all the others out there struggling with this illness of alchoholism.
I have not been a liquor drinker beer was my choice but I dont think it matters very much, we,re all affected in the same ways .
:praying
I,m going through much of the same at the moment been trying to stop for so long now and even though my life become unmanagable and my health is deteriorating and I,m losing friends and up to my eyeballs in debt ,business is sliding away from me, I still keep drinking ,using as the excuse that I drink to get to sleep coz I worry and have got loads of stress.(every night for the last 2 years)
Well this morning is my first day and I,m going for just a 24 hour period for now ,if it works then I will try the same tomorrow I wont be trying to do it without support because I,ve done that a hundred times and not even lasted a week.
So I,m now planning my 1st meeting as (relapsed)newcomer and it will be as soon as can get to one.I have used the serenity prayer loads today and it sems to be if you ask for help you get it ,,but you have to ask.good luck to you and also all the others out there struggling with this illness of alchoholism.
I have not been a liquor drinker beer was my choice but I dont think it matters very much, we,re all affected in the same ways .
:praying
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