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Old 05-31-2009, 03:54 PM
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hmm....
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Hello...

Noobie here.....

come for some support along my way to sobriety.
I am 25... been struggling with alcohol addiction since i was still at school.
I also suffer with bipolar/depression but not currently on medication.

I drink most days, and have started to wake up and drink to help my hangovers.
I work everyday, but not really a proper job so no ones gonna say anything if i turn up late or stinking of booze. I also spend a lot of time on my own and the lonelyness is what drives me to drink.

not too sure I'm up for going to a meeting just yet, but i do wanna do anything i can to stop as this is just not helping my depression.

Last week I did 6 days and was determined then my boss bought me a beer without even asking and that sent me on a bender for 4 days. I can't really let him no i have a problem as he will just fire me.

well today is gonna be day 1 of what probably won't be my last attempt but i would like it to last a little longer than the other!
I have 1 beer in the house just incase i get shakes or anxiety too bad.

any support welcome!
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:00 PM
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Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.

You said you are not taking medication for the depression/bipolar issue. Have you found that medication didn't work for you, because it seems like it might be helpful to treat those issues? And, yes, alcohol is a depressant, and will make the situation worse.

Take a look around and read and learn. There is lots of support here.
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:10 PM
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Hi Tears
and welcome!
I am BP2, so I appreciate your spot..
I am glad you are aware that the alcohol is not helping your depression, and certainly it is a vicious circle between the alcohol, depression and your bipolar...
glad you are here and I hope you stick around..
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:20 PM
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Welcome,please talk to your [any] Doc about vitamin B6 deficiency caused
from alcohol abuse and its impact on depression..
Take care.. Oz..
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:21 PM
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Hi and welcome

I'm a noobie too but i've spent enough time on this site to know that there are some darn good people out there who will give you all the support you need.

As well as being an alky I also suffer from depression and I agree with 51anna alcohol is a depressant BUT unfortunately it is an easy way to self medicate and numb yourself. However it just buries the problems you have and adds a whole bunch of new ones that you have to deal with, boy did I learn that the hard way LOL. I also agree that you should go to the docs and ask about medication it can be a real help. If you have been on meds before and they had no effect they might not have been the ones for you and a change might be needed, it never hurts to ask.

Take a good look around the site there's plenty of good stuff to read as well as a bucket load of inspiration and support.

Anyway I wish you all the best and good luck

Jase
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:22 PM
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Welcome Tears!

Glad you are here and exploring getting help. It is great that you are acknowledge that you have a problem and would like to do something about it. I didn't admit that I had a problem until much later in life. Please stick around and continue to post. I found this site after I already was sober for a good while but I am so impressed at how powerful a sobriety tool SR is. Chat is a great location to get help here and there are many from the UK that visit to talk there.

Take care!
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:23 PM
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I know you said that you're not up for going to a meeting, but I'd really suggest that you do so. You need a lot of help and support right now, and an AA meeting is a good place to start. Try a Womans Meeting if you can locate one. But you need to get out and away from the vicious circle you're in. And an AA meeting is a good place to go. And you'll always find support here.
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:31 PM
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I also suffer from depression and even though I knew drinking wasn't helping, I still drank. It is a vicious cycle. You mentioned Meetings, I hope you'll go soon and give them an honest effort. Not only will you learn tools to help you with your drinking, you will make new, sober friends. Real friends. Not just people who are there when the alcohol is.

Stick around, share as much as you're comfortable with and just don't drink today.

God Bless,
Judy
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Old 05-31-2009, 04:46 PM
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hmm....
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Thanks for all the friendly welcomes!!
To answer some questions....

No i'm not currently on medication. In the UK here if you fail 2 referals its hard to get any help and being bipolar/BPD its so hard to keep that mindset and remembering that its important. I also have a note on my file of self harm through pil over doses so it's unlikely i will be prescribed anything but a hefty lecture.

I'm pretty good with diet and vitamins. I drink a lot of herbal tea and make sure I take multivitamins containing a lot of b vitamins. I am vegetarian and eat a lot of raw and cooked vegetables. I've always beleived this can really help anyone with mental health problems.

I will find a meeting place soon. I think emotionally accepting that I am an alcoholic has been pretty tough step and as i've got anxiety I don't want to push it to far and end up on a binge.

We'll see how it goes!
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Old 05-31-2009, 05:02 PM
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Hi tears

I have a history of self harm and a three month stint in a nut house for a serious attempt at suicide but have no problem getting anti-depressants (sleeping pills is another matter I don't get a lecture I get a very good frowning) so go ask. If you get a lecture just go lalalalalalal in your head 'till they shut up!
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Old 05-31-2009, 05:18 PM
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Hey tears. Your post is like reading a biography of me. I'm sure your realising that your not alone now. We'll all give you help and encouragement. Your clearly up for changing your life for the better. Good for you, keep posting when you need some advice or just some company. I've been overwhelmed by the support the people here give..
You can do it.
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Old 05-31-2009, 05:36 PM
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Welcome to SR!
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:39 PM
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Welcome to SR and take some action with that desire to stop drinking!!
Doing something different will bring different results!! Keep coming back!!
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:55 AM
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hmm....
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Originally Posted by cptspalding View Post
Hi tears

I have a history of self harm and a three month stint in a nut house for a serious attempt at suicide but have no problem getting anti-depressants (sleeping pills is another matter I don't get a lecture I get a very good frowning) so go ask. If you get a lecture just go lalalalalalal in your head 'till they shut up!
Yeah i got a lecture last time. I even wrote my doctor a letter to help get everything I wanted to say out. I told him I wanted help for alcohol addiction too and he just said come back in a week. This was about a year and half ago and the last time I asked for help.

I also have a history of self harm and eating disorders, and the only thing they would offer me is mirtazapene which I took for a while but put on a lot of weight and did nothing to lift my mood.

Anywho, i've moved since, and when I get the courage i'm gonna try a new doctor. I'm gonna set a goal for next week.

So anywho....

Last night was my first night, I din't sleep at all and sweated a whole lot.
I keep getting cramp and have a dull ache in my mid area.
Can anyone advice if I should drink a normal amount of water or over compensate for the dehydration?
I'm not shaking which is good, will make things easier at work today.

Thanks again for the support so far.
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Old 06-01-2009, 02:30 PM
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You'll have trouble sleeping for a while. We all go through that. It takes a while for your body to adjust. I hope you get to a meeting soon. Accepting the fact that you're an alcoholic is a big step foward. Now go out and meet folks who are just like you and want to help.
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Old 06-02-2009, 04:22 PM
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hmm....
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Well i'm just about to head into my third night.
Just wanted to update.

Despite crying at everything and some minor ailments i'm doing ok I think. I had a bad trigger yesterday and temptations today but I resisted and kept reminding myself of all the times i've been here before.

I'm sooo super tired, and i've a nice bunch of spots everywhere, which I read somewhere earlier is quite common... atleast I don't have an empty wallet and stinky breath :p

I phoned a new GP today, gonna get registered and get back on meds, best way to stay on this road me thinks.
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Old 06-02-2009, 04:26 PM
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Good for you tears. I found every single day gets easier, but there seems to be some ups and downs for the first 7 dyas or so. Day 13 for me, and trust me it gets MUCH easier and life gets MUCH better.

Seek
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Old 06-02-2009, 04:27 PM
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Wow, I'm so glad to read that you have found a new dr.

I know how bad it feels when you get the brush-off from a dr, after you get up your courage to ask for help.

Good for you on staying sober!
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