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The disease...

Old 05-31-2009, 08:46 AM
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The disease...

Alcoholism and drug addiction are each a ‘disease’.

I know, because I have the ‘disease’.

Question: what is it about our ‘disease’ that prevents us from picking up the phone to tell someone else we’re getting ready to drink / use?

Why can’t we all simply call someone and say, “I going to drink / use.”..?

BEFORE we drink / use…?

Granted, I KNOW we have a disease that makes us want to drink / use… but does this same disease prevent us from telling someone BEFORE we do it?

I wonder if NOT calling someone is more of a CHOICE rather than a disease?

I don’t know the answer.

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Old 05-31-2009, 08:49 AM
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It's called shame.
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:51 AM
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My experience is that the problem centers in my mind. By working the steps and living a spiritual life I remain in a recovered state, the problem has been removed, there is nothing going on inside me a drink could fix. If I stopped this way of life, I could become unrecovered quite quickly, the spiritual malady would start eating me from the inside out. Left untreated, my mind will bring me to a drink as a way to ease this internal dis-ease.
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:53 AM
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I think by the time we know we need to call someone it is often too late... The desire to drink is stronger than the desire not to.
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:53 AM
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tommy,

I've come to believe for myself that i loose the power of choice before i pick up the drink...psychologically speaking....

For me a choice isn't really a choice if you don't know it is there or if you don't have the ability to make it.

I do believe in the insanity that preceedes the first drink. It's quite a long walk for me today from sobriety to the drink....there is a point at which i still have a choice ... am capable of making a choice...to reach out and ask forr help. But at some point it seems to dissappear.

I think doing daily checks (inventoires) and spot checks are ways that can help me make the choice before it is too late.

its strange though...i'm not convinced that picking up the phone before you drink and making that call is insurance you won't drink....I did all the program things including that before i drank after 2.5 years sober...so i guess for me it is one of many tools, but not a magic cure all.

Thanks interesting post
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:54 AM
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which for me - is completely dependent on my spiritual condition.
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Old 05-31-2009, 09:25 AM
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I am not fully convinced it is a disease to be honest. I do agree it is a mental issue. But I am not too sure how I feel about the whole disease thing.
But I know from my own experience that alot of times..I purposely wont tell on myself so I can get high. Thats stems from wanting to. Other times. I wont tell because I feel like a burden.
And when I do tell. I will go anyway. Or sometimes it does throw a wrench in it.

For me it just comes down to if I really want to go or not.
Because either way. I am goin to do it if thats what I really want. I can go through all the motions as if I am trying not to. but it isnt goin to do any good if my inicial intention isnt the same.

Did that make any sense?
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Old 05-31-2009, 09:33 AM
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Tommy, I know that if I decide to pick up I'm going to no matter who I call. I just know me. However, if I wait and I'm thinking about it and I don't pick up the phone and share what's going on in my head before I get to that point even then I'm making the decision way ahead of time. I totally believe that "your relapse begins way before you pick up", because I know I think about it, especially when I'm going through a rough spot in life. So I pick up the phone THEN!!! I call my sponsor and tell her I want to get drunk, I tell my girlfriends where my head is, I let everyone I know who cares where I am at and that way I have made myself accountable. I think it's all the disease. It's been said that it affects us psychologically so I go with that. If that is the case, then I have to do what I have been "suggested" I do when I start thinking about picking up.

I don't know if that makes sense to you, but for me it does. I still have a choice, I can either run with what my head is telling me or I believe in myself, know I deserve better than to go down that road and do what the people before me have told me I should do. It is part of the disease.
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Old 05-31-2009, 10:38 AM
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I'm on the side that clams substance dependence is a 'brain disease'. I believe that neurochemicals and neuropathways have been altered to the point that decision making has been severely compromised.

Originally Posted by tommy
Question: what is it about our ‘disease’ that prevents us from picking up the phone to tell someone else we’re getting ready to drink / use?
I think vegibean has some good points and one being
Originally Posted by vegi
I totally believe that "your relapse begins way before you pick up", because I know I think about it, especially when I'm going through a rough spot in life. So I pick up the phone THEN!!! I call my sponsor and tell her I want to get drunk, I tell my girlfriends where my head is,
The more I practice picking up the phone when I'm having a rough spot...well before the intensity of the urge to use begins...I am retraining my brain and learning new behaviors that will help me when it can come to a time, and sometimes in an instant, when I'm only one call away from relapse.
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Old 05-31-2009, 11:42 AM
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"Pride comes before a fall."
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Old 05-31-2009, 12:04 PM
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Isnt not picking up the phone first a part of the sickness?

When a virus invades a cell, it does it stealthily and starts using the cell's own equipment to make more viruses. It doesnt give the cell a chance to "call" for help from the immune system because the cell doesnt even know the virus is there. Just like when we decide to drink, we are in a period of insanity but dont know it, so we wont call.
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:07 PM
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You don't pick up the phone because you don't want to. You want to drink. Picking up the phone will not allow you to drink. So yes, it's a choice you make. But making the choice to pick up a drink is actually the last in a sequence of thought processes that your mind goes through. It's called alcoholic thinking. You set yourself up to drink, in other words. The answer is not to begin the thought process and you avoid this by (are you ready?) picking up the phone! Yep. Get used to talking to other alcoholics/addicts on the phone. Get a bunch of numbers and begin communicating. You'll find that this will keep your mind focused on recovery, and the thought of picking up a drink again will never begin to form.
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Old 05-31-2009, 03:59 PM
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I personally don't consider alcoholism or drug addiction a "disease" and I don't use AA.

I look at what is going on in my day/week when having a drink comes to mind. Am I stressed, worried, ticked off, feeling anxious, depressed, lonely ? and work from there to change my situation. Often these feelings are your friend. They tell us what needs changing. If I don't have control over what is going on and my feelings are a reaction to a situation, I begin the process of acceptance and know it will pass eventually.
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Old 05-31-2009, 08:23 PM
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i call, or talk to at a meeting, at least six recovering addicts who have more clean time then i do every day. i call, or talk to at a meeting, at least six addicts who have less clean time then me every day. i was told early on that an addict all alone is in bad company. There was no disclaimer on that suggestion that i only call someone when i wanted to use! i have spent alot of my life being deceitful to myself that sometimes, i'm not even aware when i'm not being totally honest with myself. Combine that with a disease that forces me to deny having it and i'm off to the races in a car with no gas! i do whatever it takes to not use and to live clean each day, No Matter What!!

It is written on the back of almost every N.A. meeting list that specifically states, "Call Us Before You Use". Maybe the reason people don't call for help in staying clean is that they have a reservation or refuse to follow direction??
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