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Hello all. I've been lurking here for a while now; been meaning to post, just haven't gotten around to it until now. I just want to say that, being a non-AA person it's refreshing to find a place with like-minded individuals that I can check in with from time to time.

About a week ago I achieved 6 months of sobriety and I feel really positive about it. I've accepted the fact that I cannot drink again and look forward to an alcohol-free life. Each morning I wake up and thank God (I'm not really a religious person) for my sobriety. It is so nice to wake up with a clear head. I do realize though, that it wouldn't take much for me to lose my way, and pick up right where I left off.

I would be going on almost 2 years of sobriety, but I had a relapse about 14 months ago. At that time I was going 8 months strong when I convinced myself that It'd be alright if I had a beer every once in while. I set rules for myself. I could have 2 beers only (absolutely no hard stuff), and only in social settings. Then I modified those rules to stopping to get a 6-pack every so often and bringing it home. Shortly thereafter I was back to buying a liter of vodka every two days or so. It was not uncommon for me to wake up on a Saturday or Sunday morning and immediately start to drink. On weekdays I would have the bottle with me in the car and as soon as I was done with work I would mix one up for the ride home.

There was no particular incident that got me to stop drinking again. I just became severely disgusted with myself and stopped. I've never gone to an AA meeting, but have been considering it lately. I know that my drinking was just a symptom of deeper seeded problems that I may have. Maybe AA would help me to hash those problems out? I don't know. For now I've decided to frequent these forums. So far you guys have been a big help.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for reading this. I will check in from time to time.

Jason

I'm so glad you found us and welcome to the SR community (hug)

lots of people here doing sobriety/recovery in different ways.

I drank after 7 years sober and clean and drank for 8 years. I now have 22 mos sober/clean.

I do attend AA and it helps me, but there are many paths to sobrieety. What i have found seems to be common to all with this disease is the need to be a part of a WE...It seems that this is a disease that responds better if we share our recovery with others that have this disease.

please post around on SR on the threads..visit chat if you like and pm people if you feel particulary connected....

This site has been there for me the last 2 times i really wanted to drink and members of SR have helped me to choose sobriety over alchohol on those occations

again glad you are here :) :ghug its a we thing

Good to know you have started your new sobriety
Congratulations.....:funjump:

Welcome to our recovery community
:wave:

Welcome!!

I lurked for quite a while, here, before joining, too:) Now SR is a huge part of my recovery and the great people here have gotten me through some pretty stressful times, and helped me to celebrate the good times.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

thanks for sharing! It is always good for me to hear what happens when we give in to that voice that tells us we can manage a beer or two now=)

Welcome. :)

Hi Welcome to SR!!

Congrats on the six months sobriety! I had tried the controlled drinking many times and could do it for a time but discovered that booze always came back with a vengeance and I eventually wound me up in a detox hospital. Abstinence seems to be the only safe method for alcoholics. Now that I finally understand that I do not have to battle with booze anymore.

Ananda is very correct on the importance of becoming part of a "we" to fight this disease. I also wound up attending and becoming a part of AA and after being sober for over year discovered SR and find it to be a very good recovery tool. I stay very active in my recovery and connected to to sober people. I had tried too many times to do this by myself and lost.

Yeah, I think that 'controlled drinking' creeps into all of us every now and again....until we can find a sobriety that sticks.

Welcome to SR. Congratulations on 6 months!

Welcome, 6 months it great!

I did the "Deal with myself" to limit my out of control drinking before. Sometimes it would last for weeks, then days, then hours, now if I were to pick up a drink I would have about 30 minutes until black out time and then perpetual misery until I sober up. No "deal" ever survives the first drink. One of the biggest hurdles I ever overcame was realizing that the voice in my head saying "It will be different this time" is a bald faced liar.

welcome to sr,.........im glad your here with us.

Thanks for all the kind words. Yeah, I fooled myself into thinking that I could keep things under control. And the first few times I drank it worked out great. I'd have 2 and then quit, no problem. But then I convinced myself I could have a few more than 2, and before I knew it I'd be (as a Rad44 stated) in blackout mode.

I think my reasoning for wanting to start drinking again in the first place is my fear of being left out. Alcohol had become so ingrained in me and in my lifestyle that not being able to do it had me feeling like I was on the outside looking in. I so wanted to still be a part of it all (and still do to some extent) that I fooled myself into thinking I could do it in a controlled manner. Well, lesson learned. I now know that I can't.

The next phase in my life has begun. And that phase is trying to figure out how to get by without the drug that kept me "socially afloat" for so many years. It'll be a long and hard fought journey, but I am confident that this time around I will conquer this demon.

Hi Jason
and Welcome:)
congrats on 6 months!

I did IOP for about 6 months.. I'm not an AA person, but def. feel that it's important to explore the root of dependency.

Welcome to SR and congrats on six months sober!:c014:

Welcome to the family Jason - so good to have you here. SR has brought me this far, but I am considering trying a meeting for the extra support. I don't entirely trust myself. I had 3 yrs. once but convinced myself I'd never go back to hell, I'd be careful. I went back to hell, alright - this time with disastrous consequences. Once I take the first drink, all the promises I've made to myself are out the window. It only took me 25 yrs. to come to that realization. I am finally convinced - if I pick up again, I die.

Hey Jason, I don't know how successful AA would be getting to the root of any deep problems you may have, but it could be a big factor in you staying sober. Give it a try. Go to a bunch of different meetings and see for yourself. I think you'll like it.