I think I can share my darkest moment now
 

to you all as I know here I will only get love and support :). Im actually five weeks sober now but in Feb this year I had a bad bad slip :(. I was drinking in the day and decided to go down the road for more alcohol leaving my 3 year old along ( which still haunts me) when I came back with more booze my husband was home I panicked and went away of course drinking more!!
when I finally came home after walking 5 ks in the rain home as my car didnt go. When I got home my husband was understandby full of rage and the next mornin g gave me a hell of a hiding in which I jumped out the window and went at 9pm at night to the alcohol addiciton clinic this was on a saturday so no one was there and slept on the doorstep for two nights till monday. I then went into hospital as I had a breakdown stayed there for two weeks mainly sleeping. When I came home I maganed two months of sobriaty but couldnt handle my husbands moods and six weeks ago we seperated and now feel great Im sober and feel very calm. I didnt come here in my bad time as I felt embaressed and full of hatre for msyelf :( Im starting to like me again the sober me .

Thanks for sharing Ang - man I'm so sorry you had to go through all that :(

I'm really glad you made it back to us though, and that you sound so positive now.
It really is great to see, sweetie :D

hugs
D

Prayers for your peace coming your way
:hug:

thanks Dee and carol Im having a hard time forgiving m yself what I did to Sophie my little girl it haunts me that anything could of happened to her and it would of being my fault :(

We all did some pretty horrible things drunk Ang - I'm not excusing any of us.

But we can't change the past - we can only move on, and do our best to make sure we never ever do anything like that again.

hugs again
D

That made me cry, Angie. I have similar stories I could tell. Every now and then one will surface & I'll be shocked at myself all over again. The drunk Angie and the sober Angie are two entirely different people. When I was drinking I was insane, and justified everything, even criminal behavior. That's all over for us now. We never have to go back to hell. We love you & believe in you. Joanie

Well done for getting to where you are now Angie. I promise you, all alcoholics, or anyone with an addiction has almost certainly got some horror stories to tell about the things the've done. I'm no exeption. I think you should have posted during the bad times, we've been there too. Remember, you are not alone..
Anyhow no use in dwelling now, and try not to feel to ashamed of those bad times. Learn from them. It seems your heading in the right direction. Good for you. Welcome to your new improved life! :c014:

P.S. You MUST forgive yourself, Angie. You say you're haunted by what happened - that's what I did too. Guilt and remorse kept me from staying sober, until Dee and others here convinced me I had to move past that if I was to get well. It worked.

Hi Ang, all any of us can do is move forward and you are doing that. :hug:

Angie, thankyou for trusting us with this part of your story...I am sorry that you had to go through that, but now here you are, with some sobertime to be proud of, under your belt...and your daughter has a strong and sober mom with so much to look forward to...it only gets better....good for you...
(((Angie)))

thanks all huggs I feel happy now yaya Im sober and loving it :) Im still going to drug and alcohol councilling as I need that too, and Im slowly starting to like myself :)

I hope you can work on forgiving yourself. I think it's important to remember but not to keep beating yourself up. Or at least to not imagine things that could have happened but didn't. Remember the whole story. You did things you're not happy about (left her alone) but you also did things you should be proud of (got help, got sober).

I'm not sure I'm expressing myself very well. I guess I just hope you don't get stuck in all sorts of "what ifs..."

Wishing you the best!

Congrats on your sobriety and please forgive yourself and move forward from now on. (((hugs)))

Angie,

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I had to start liking myself too, and it's not easy. Just know that you are worth it!

I feel good I take each day greatfully that Im sober the nights I love when I lie in bed in my jarmies fluffy slippers etc with a hot milk and Im sober that I will wake up with a clear head no hangover and guess what.... I can read books again yay .. I cantw ait till I see my counclour and tell her that I didnt relaspe that I thought it through and chose to stay sober :) :)

You are doing so well, Ang. :hug: You are moving forward despite having gone through a very rough time.I'm sorry for what happened to you, but I'm so glad you've taken steps to create a better life for yourself and your kids. Forgiving ourselves can be quite a process, but you are worth it hun.I'm really glad you shared here.It's always great to hear from you :)

Lots of love,

Jules xox

hey jules how are you cold up in Auckland? did I tell you our lovely old doggie Murphy ( labby) passed away last year :( I have a yourkie cross now called Lily :)

Hey again Ang,

It's been really cold here, yes.For once I don't mind Merlin sleeping on our bed-he keeps me warm-LOL! I'm so sorry about Murphy-he was a lovely boy, but I'm glad you have another dog!They certainly help keep us company.I couldn't live without mine :) Give Lily a pat for me!

xox

Good to see you Angie, congrats on being sober and looking after yourself :)

thanks nogard and yes lily ahs being a great shoulder to cry on she is so cute! If I could get my avatar to work I would put her as my avatar .