Charmie

serenity queen,what a marvelous post.thank you.

Dee74

I try not to get frustrated over people naysaying everything....it's not always possible lol but I try.

One thing I've learned that helps - it's not my job to get someone else sober.
I can only share what worked for me...thats the way I can best help....and happily most people usually seem to find my contributions useful

Some people you just have to hope and pray they find their way without too much more damage to themselves and others.

It's a long hard journey for us all....

I know had I lobbed here in 2002, and not 2007, my history and relationships here would be decidely different LOL

I try to remember that - but I also know what I had to do...I had to look at my problem honestly, I had admit I didn't have all the answers, I had to learn to shut up and listen, and I had to admit that I hadn't been doing everything that I possibly could

D

serenityqueen

Quote:

Regardless of which program or recovery path we take, or our opinions about what *might* work, or *wont*.. I don't believe true recovery can be achieved until a person is willing to do ANYTHING to get and stay sober. Hell.. we've done just about anything to get our drink/drug and maintain a false sense of control. Openmindedness is so critical when trying to find the way to sobriety, recovery, and a better life.

Personally, I think your "bumbling few sentences" were very well said. And yes, uglyeyes, you hit on my thoughts too. I was not trying to say that AA or NA are the only ways. I agree that there are many who have found Sobriety, inner peace and are living happy, joyous and free without ever setting foot in any 12 Step Programs.

Quote:

Hrmmmmm , I know your heart is in the right place judy, as I have known you since I first became a member of this site but I am not sure what the point of this post is.

The point of this post is, I spent 25 years in a living hell, begging for help from anyone who would listen to me, yet I wouldn't listen to them! I rejected nearly everything that was suggested to me from people who were living a happy life in Recovery and once were lost like I was. I thought I knew what was best for me, look where my thoughts got me.

Quote:

While it is upsetting to see many newcomers reject the program, they must walk their own path. We should not be angry or upset with these people. You spoke in your post about how from 1980 (time of your first treatment) until 2005 you yourself had kept rejecting the program even though so many others kept assuring you it was the right path to go down.

Again, I am not saying that The Programs of AA & NA are the only things that will work nor am I angry or upset with these people when they, as you put it, walk their own path. I would just like to point out to those who are asking for help that before they reject something like this stubborn, bullheaded, know it all addict and alcoholic did, give it a try! To put it simply, it's kinda like when a child sees a food and says, "yuck! I hate that!" Then you find out they never even tried it. How do you know something won't work if you don't give it an honest effort?

There are some people who have been coming here for quite awhile, yet they repeatedly share how miserable they are, how they get a few days or weeks clean and then pick up again. They understandably ask for help (which I think it commendable) yet they reject every suggestion. Simple abstinance from drugs and alcohol is not the answer.

I know it's not my job to get someone else sober, but aren't we all here to support one another in our quest for a life free from the bondage of drugs and alcohol?

suki44883

I understand and agree with you, Judy. I really have to watch how I respond to some people because I really have very little tolerance for people who constantly ask for help and then shoot down every suggestion made by the people they came to for help. Believe it or not, I've actually had to put a couple of people on "ignore" because I was too tempted to say what I really think.

barb dwyer

I like a lively discussion.

I have gotten frustrated too,k SQ, with the "I think I want to get sober but I don't want to change anything " that we often read.

How I react to that directly depends on my own Spiritual condition when I read it.
Pretty much.

In it's light mirror, I think SR is a blessing for those who haven't the courage to go to a meeting or talk to anyone about what they're afriad might be their truth.
In its dark mirror - it can be yety another self-delusion of recovery.

Ultimately, who are we to know?

But I *do* like to see a hopping thread that is based in recovery.

tommyk

SR is great, I agree, and I like a lively discussion too.

I was clean & sober for 10 years before I went to NA/AA.

I hit about 5-6 meetings each week, life is about 1000% more enjoyable now. I am constantly learning why I used/drank in the first place (depression & anxiety), and the 12 steps have changed my life.

Do I like every single thing in NA/AA...? Nope - I take what I want and I leave the rest.

nogard

Everything changes, today I have a choice to change what I can and accept what I can't change

least

I had to change my attitude and perceptions and reactions. I had to start a new alcohol-free life, and it was and still is a difficult task sometimes. But my effort pays off every day I wake up sober.

laurie6781

Thank you SQ for starting this thread.

I do understand what you are getting at. Like Suki and others there are many times I stop posting to someone, but I do say a little prayer or two for them, that keeps relapsing.

I was not a 'relapser'. I took this disease, affliction, whatever the h*ll you want to call it to the absolute MAX:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-my-story.html

For some reason ....................................... I was given a SECOND CHANCE. Now, loss of family, jail, fights, hospitalizations (both in psych hospitals and medical hospitals) nothing had brought me to my knees. DYING DID!

I used to envy those that got to recovery with 'stuff' left (apartment, house, car, clothes, maybe a job) and I would watch some of them have to go out some more and lose some more. I learned not to envy them. All the 'stuff' was helping them stay in denial.

I had no denial left. I KNEW when it felt like the booze was coming out of every pore of my body as fast as I put it in that I was dying.

I would not 'wish' my bottom on my worst enemy (whomever that might be if there is one)!!!!!!

I would ask all of you to take the ES&H shared with you to heart. Check out the different 'programs' of recovery. If need be, just use the AA meetings to start meeting some sober folks, whatever.

Just remember, every reason you put up for not 'trying' something suggested is JUST ANOTHER ROAD BLOCK to your own sobriety.

If you want what we have and are truly READY to go to any lengths to get it, then no matter which program you chose, you will be on your way to a life you could never have dreamed of!!!!!!!

Again, SQ thank you for an EXCELLENT thread!

Love and hugs,