Wonderful life, so... why the need to sabotage??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1
Wonderful life, so... why the need to sabotage??
I am new and just found a place to start so here I go. Pardon the spelling, Im typing too fast and too stressed to care about sp.
Im married to a wonderful man who's curiosity about my addiction has led to me shooting him up. UGH!!! I know, I know....thats not where I need the advice or help. Im a puke for that. ok. Im watching him slowly "think" his way into using. Swallowing is no good, smoking outta teh ?? and snorting hurts so I am the one to "do the deed" I hate it but at the same time my addiction is being fed. Selfish? ABSOLUTELY!! Im going into detox in less than an hour then into treatment for almost a month. He knows where to get it and hes a fast learner. If I can learn anyone can especially if there is a force behind the need to. I AM DONE!!! I know I am. No more Tx for me, this is my 8th go around. I WILL finish Detox and I WILL graduate with a positive from Tx. I know teh boundaries I MUST and have in place and Ive given him the heads up. Im just not too sure of the fair or "right" ones are. I need help cuz if he gets high I have no hope. he is the breadwinner. His kids are raised...he is totally naive as to the power of meth and is "calculating" intellectualizing, and analyzing his way around all the reasons NOT to use. Ive stood back and let him go cuz it is HIS journey, I certainly didn't help the matter by any means. I always binge b4 Tx and its over, THANK GOD (paranoid crazy girl...NOT FUN) I don't ever choose detox but I want recovery this time...I want it. 8th times a charm, eh?? Whatever it takes. I don't need to be told how bad I am for getting him hooked...we all know its a choice, HE made his. I need help on what boundaries to set in place and he needs to have very firm ones with me. HOW????? We have an amazing marriage, I relapsed and he chose to come with. Ugh! HELP!!!
Thanks,
CutnClip
Im married to a wonderful man who's curiosity about my addiction has led to me shooting him up. UGH!!! I know, I know....thats not where I need the advice or help. Im a puke for that. ok. Im watching him slowly "think" his way into using. Swallowing is no good, smoking outta teh ?? and snorting hurts so I am the one to "do the deed" I hate it but at the same time my addiction is being fed. Selfish? ABSOLUTELY!! Im going into detox in less than an hour then into treatment for almost a month. He knows where to get it and hes a fast learner. If I can learn anyone can especially if there is a force behind the need to. I AM DONE!!! I know I am. No more Tx for me, this is my 8th go around. I WILL finish Detox and I WILL graduate with a positive from Tx. I know teh boundaries I MUST and have in place and Ive given him the heads up. Im just not too sure of the fair or "right" ones are. I need help cuz if he gets high I have no hope. he is the breadwinner. His kids are raised...he is totally naive as to the power of meth and is "calculating" intellectualizing, and analyzing his way around all the reasons NOT to use. Ive stood back and let him go cuz it is HIS journey, I certainly didn't help the matter by any means. I always binge b4 Tx and its over, THANK GOD (paranoid crazy girl...NOT FUN) I don't ever choose detox but I want recovery this time...I want it. 8th times a charm, eh?? Whatever it takes. I don't need to be told how bad I am for getting him hooked...we all know its a choice, HE made his. I need help on what boundaries to set in place and he needs to have very firm ones with me. HOW????? We have an amazing marriage, I relapsed and he chose to come with. Ugh! HELP!!!
Thanks,
CutnClip
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 2
Sounds crazy, but I can understand where he is coming from. You two are one. He wants to be in it with you, no matter what it is. He does not want to be on the outside looking in - he knows your marriage is sure to fail if he lets you get away literally away from his reach.
Going down together is better than staying afloat alone?
I get it.
Going down together is better than staying afloat alone?
I get it.
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