Blessing and a prayer
Blessing and a prayer
Here I sit at the end of a long day. Sober. In front of a computer screen. Having fought off what felt to me like demons, ghouls, saber-toothed tigers, and men of the dark through the course of the day. I stare into the light of my computer screen. Knowing my friends are there, if I need them.
I am safe though. So I will just offer a few words: I hope that each and every single one of you is blessed right now with a sense of security. And that things in your world feel right and true. I hope you have the joy of sobriety throughout the night and day. And I hope it continues on lighting your way.
When I have serenity, I pray that I will remember to treasure it even more now than I did before.
I am safe though. So I will just offer a few words: I hope that each and every single one of you is blessed right now with a sense of security. And that things in your world feel right and true. I hope you have the joy of sobriety throughout the night and day. And I hope it continues on lighting your way.
When I have serenity, I pray that I will remember to treasure it even more now than I did before.
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned.
It has been some time since I have fought the beast, do not get me wrong, the beast is still there, but I no longer fight him any more, I am in a safe place where ever I go, yes the beast goes where I go, but the battle with him in my head is for now over and will remain so as long as I remain in the right place in my head.
I pray that you will be able to reach a point where you no longer need to battle the demons, ghouls, saber-toothed tigers, and men of the dark through the course of the day, but instead will simply be aware they are there and that you are safe.
Not to worry. I'm not really alright but I know I will be. That's really important.
I am going through a divorce, while living in the same house as my ex who is trying to claim full legal and physical custody. He is agressive psychologically and has been physically agressive a few times in the past. So I am intimidated and stressed out. My fight is sometimes with keeping my own emotions in check and sometimes with negotiating with someone who really is not making sense to me. I am, daily, struck dumb by some of the things he is saying - asserting that I never quit drinking, that I am a bad mom, etc.
So, I find I am in the most stressful event of my life. Thank God, THANK GOD, I am sober.
And I thank God for my sober friends here. I have a hard time turning to my friends in person because I kind of fall apart. I don't fall apart here. I have time to think. (Well, maybe I've fallen apart a little here on SR in the past.... )
Anyway - that's the jist of it. Thank you to anyone who offers prayers, epecially. I am praying that my ex will feel his own heart soften and that he will see the truth that the kids need me too.
I am going through a divorce, while living in the same house as my ex who is trying to claim full legal and physical custody. He is agressive psychologically and has been physically agressive a few times in the past. So I am intimidated and stressed out. My fight is sometimes with keeping my own emotions in check and sometimes with negotiating with someone who really is not making sense to me. I am, daily, struck dumb by some of the things he is saying - asserting that I never quit drinking, that I am a bad mom, etc.
So, I find I am in the most stressful event of my life. Thank God, THANK GOD, I am sober.
And I thank God for my sober friends here. I have a hard time turning to my friends in person because I kind of fall apart. I don't fall apart here. I have time to think. (Well, maybe I've fallen apart a little here on SR in the past.... )
Anyway - that's the jist of it. Thank you to anyone who offers prayers, epecially. I am praying that my ex will feel his own heart soften and that he will see the truth that the kids need me too.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
And just to follow up with what Taz shared,
From those same 10th step promises. The first time those words resonated with me (although I'd probably read them a few times before) was when it described exactly how I felt at that moment. I was trying to describe how I felt and someone pointed that page out to me, and I was floored. That's the difference between reading the steps and experiencing the steps.
We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected.
mle..
I've been just where you are. It can be a fight. They call them custody "fights" and "battles"...
anyhow. My ex AH had long since recovered through the church..I was sober, but was still considered
the "alcoholic..unstable parent"...
Someone shared with me.."We have ceased fighting anything and anyone..even
alcohol"...and I was really frightened, until I tried that experiment. And it worked
for me. I stayed out of "the fight"...I got calm, and got on my knees..and handed
everything..my son ..up. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do up to that point
in life. My son "came home" shortly thereafter. Just keep your wits about you, stay
sober. I'll pray every day for you, mle. My heart so goes out to you...
Take care dear.
All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB
I've been just where you are. It can be a fight. They call them custody "fights" and "battles"...
anyhow. My ex AH had long since recovered through the church..I was sober, but was still considered
the "alcoholic..unstable parent"...
Someone shared with me.."We have ceased fighting anything and anyone..even
alcohol"...and I was really frightened, until I tried that experiment. And it worked
for me. I stayed out of "the fight"...I got calm, and got on my knees..and handed
everything..my son ..up. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do up to that point
in life. My son "came home" shortly thereafter. Just keep your wits about you, stay
sober. I'll pray every day for you, mle. My heart so goes out to you...
Take care dear.
All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB
Checking in today, mle...
Thinking about you and your situation. And sending prayers and positive thoughts
your way. Don't let him wear you down. Praying his heart softens too.
PM any time if you want or need to...
Sher
Thinking about you and your situation. And sending prayers and positive thoughts
your way. Don't let him wear you down. Praying his heart softens too.
PM any time if you want or need to...
Sher
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