getr345

I know I've been kinda scarce on the boards here of late. I doubt anyone really misses me too much and that's OK I'm cool with that, I just wanted to check in if anyone was wondering how I was doing. And I'm still doing good. Sober. Thankfully. Gratefully. Sober. Lost track of days I was counting, had it all broken down by drinking days, total sobriety days, and even the number of days since I put the last of my addictions behind me, pot. Anyway, the numbers continue to grow and I do have it written down somewhere, anyway; I do have one thing to mention and maybe get some feedback on...

Last weekend I got my first ever tattoo, as a tribute to my friend who died in March. Knowing that tattoos hurt, I asked my wife if she had any pain medication, and she gave me two vicodins before I went under the needles and I took them both about 20 minutes before the man went to work. I did not really get "high" from them, and I feel like they did their job of killing the pain both during and after the tattooing. I did not feel a hangover (slightly more tired the next day than usual) from them, and no sense of regret or bad feelings as was the case the last time a few months ago that I took codeine recreationally. And I have not thought about them since, and have no desire to take them again, or fall off the wagon...

So my question is, does anyone think those pills constitute a lapse or a break in my sobriety? Did I take them for a legitimate reason and is my sobriety as solid now as it was before I swallowed those pills? I should also say that I did not plan in advance to take them, it was truly spur of the moment in my mind and the thought came to me in the parlor as my time was coming up to get my TAT. I did not know if she had any or not. My anxiety about getting a first ever tattoo may have also played a role in my thought to ask the wife if she had the pain pills, but mostly I think I was worried about the pain.

Thoughts, opinions, please be honest...

(oh, anybody wanna see the TAT?)

shanman422

I personally do not believe you need to consider that a break in your sobriety. If what you said is true and it wasn't something you planned out!
In the future.... If you want to get anymore tats, It's really not as painful as you may think. I don't know how big yours is (yes would love to see a picture) but I have several small ones and I did not need anything for the pain.
Congratulations on living sober... keep it going

getr345

Honestly, I did not plan it out and if the wife had said that she didn't have any, then I would not have taken any and just gotten the tattoo without the benefit of some relief, and even with it still stung a bit but I think it would have been more sore after had I not taken them. The way I felt about it afterward was different too, no regret, no guilt, no cravings, no feeling like crap after...

Here it is...



My friend had this tattoo on the same spot...

keithj

Hmmm... Don't want to touch this one with a ten foot tattoo needle.

Freedom1990

Well, I have a full backpiece and never took anything for the pain-got about 12 hours into it right now. That's just me.

Nice work with clean lines!

getr345

Thanks!

Ya know, it was my first tattoo and I was really nervous about it (scared about the pain, about him making a mistake, about me maybe hating it, about the permanence of it all...etc...) and did not know what to expect, and I sure as hell did not want to be suffering during and after the experience. Now that I know what to expect and have done it, I'd not even consider taking a pain pill for the next one, if there even is a next one. All in all, I have no regrets about the tattoo, or the pills, and I think that is a good thing for me because last time I took some pain pills a couple months ago I knew it was purely recreational and I felt bad, not good and it was real stinkin thinkin so to speak. This just felt different.

Mark75

I'll only say this...

You took a medication prescribed for someone else... yea, ok... but, well, it's not legal. Also, I think you were a little casual in your use of a narcotic.

Whether you broke sobriety or not, I never speak for another, and I could see both sides to the argument. But what about next time something might be a little painful?

You asked, so I answered. Probably wouldn't have said a word about it.

Nice Tatoo... That's where I'd get one if I did... Bicycle Gear... already have it planned.

Mark

flutter

Hmm.. you know in your mind what you feel is right about sober time and all that jazz.

I have lots of tattoos, and honestly I never even thought of taking painkillers before or after, the pain (which is really insignificant) is part of the process.. heh.. like a lot of things And to be very honest with you, as you know I always am.. even if offered, I would have been way too weirded out by vicodin, it's not back surgery.. and if I took them, I personally would have taken them for the feel good, and not the pain relief, and therefore would have been a lapse or step back for ME. I seriously haven't though of pain pills and tats before you even brought it up!

Tat looks great.

Gypsy Feet

your leg looks nice shaved, you should consider keeping them that way

getr345

I guess I can't argue with this, it's true I suppose and I really do appreciate the feedback.

Aysha

I try not to be all hard lined and by the book about anything in my life.
But then that may be why I fly by the seat of my pants all the time.
I know alot of people may think alot of things about that scenario.
but for me..And this is only me.
If my worst problem was poppin a pill for pain one time.
Life would be good to go.
I say its all in what you think and what you say.
Obviously you are having thoughts about it. Or you wouldnt be here posting.
But if it were me. Yea..I wouldnt even bat an eyelash.
But then I never get more than a few months of clean time either.
But I will say that doesnt mean I dont know what I am saying either.

Freedom1990

I was nervous about my first tattoo too! I got a Chinese dragon on my left hip/upper leg. I enjoyed it so much I got another tat on my right shoulder during that visit (I drive 650 miles for the ink, and stay there a few days), a cow's skull with two feathers on one horn, one for each daughter.

The thing is once the tattooing starts, your endorphins kick in and you kind of numb out to it after awhile. Only takes me a couple of minutes to get into that relaxed state.

Aysha

Oh..And forgot to tell you I like your new tat.
I will get my first "REAL" one whenever I get 1 yr clean.
That may be never.
I have a couple home done ones from when I was a teen.

getr345

True I suppose but I really do like to check in here after a while of being gone, or after anything interesting (like a tribute tattoo for a dead friend) happens in my life, and in the spirit of true openness and honesty regarding my recovery and sobriety, I wanna declare any and all substances, chemicals, or drugs I may do, and my reasons for doing them, and how I felt about it, and feel about it. I'm really enjoying the feedback and taking something from it, stuff I had not really considered, it's giving me a fresh perspective and leads me to believe that I may have used the situation I was in as an excuse to take a few pills, and that's not good. But on the other hand, it did not feel "good" or bad, it just felt like pain relief because it was painful. I have not hidden anything since the day I got here and this declaration is no exception. I could easily wipe my slate clean and think of my "true sobriety" time as having to start over again, if I did it would be 4 days now instead of 73. I'm OK with that, and I may come to see it that way, not sure yet. Either way I still have my no drinking, no nicotine and no pot time but I know I have to be more careful if I do consider this a slip or even a relapse of sorts. Or even if I don't.

Aysha

This recovery thing is really confusing sometimes to me. LOL
And really double standard.
Its like I feel like I have to analyze every thought and action from now on.
I guess thats part of it all.

I get what your saying. And thats good.
Although it wouldnt have me thinkin twice about it.
It def doesnt hurt to look at it in all perspectives.
One can very quickly turn into hell on earth again.
Good on ya.

getr345

I will offer this as another declaration that needs declaring:

I have become a somewhat regular O'Doul's drinker... {gasp!!}

I will have one sometimes with dinner and sometimes when I go out to a game or concert, or a party or BBQ. I enjoy it quite a bit and never have more than one or two. I no longer associate the taste of beer with intoxication or "the buzz" so it's just a beverage to me now, no different than a soda, but in my opinion more healthy and actually better for my diet. Well, actually it is different than a soda in that soda has addictive caffeine in it and other nasty chemicals...

I was at a basketball game a week ago with a friend. I bought an O'Doul's for me and a regular beer for him. We drank them. Then I asked him to get the next round, he went up, we got separated and when I found my way back to the seats, there were two cups of "beer" sitting there and he was gone. I assumed one must be mine and the one with a few swallows gone must be his. I approached with caution, not being sure what was what. I sniffed the one I thought was mine and could not tell if it had alcohol in it or not. I asked someone else to sniff and even taste it and they could not tell. I took a little tiny sip, and was just not sure. Strange I know... So I left it alone and then he came back like 2 minutes later with my O'Doul's. Both beers in front of me were his...

Believe808

You asked for honesty, well first of all I was gonna say that yes for me that would have been a relapse with the pills. They werent prescribed for you and they are an pain med. I have gotten 2 tattoos and didn't need anything. My 2 children have gotten tattoos and didn't need pain med's before or after getting them. Then I read your last post Come on, you admit you have been drinking beer and you don't think you should start your day count again. Maybe you are kidding yourself or think you are kidding anyone else, for me that is a relapse. I hope you get it.

Wolfchild

Curious by nature...

What has your sponsor said about all these actions that you've posted here?

getr345

I've been drinking non-alcoholic beer, on occasion, yes. And that sip I had of real beer was so so tiny, I mean tiny and it was more or less by mistake. No way I'm starting my no drinking day count again because I don't drink anymore. But I do see your point on the pills...

getr345

Sorry to say I don't have one and have not done AA.

I have gotten to this point (for good or bad) by myself and with the support of friends, family, and SR.