Question from a newcomer
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 76
Question from a newcomer
I have been sober for 17 days now. Six of those days were spent in a medical detox center. I've been to an A.A. meeting everyday since I got out of detox. The thing is that I do not want to go anywhere or do anything else except go to meetings or sit on the couch and watch t.v. or read. I have no energy or motivation to do anything else.
I have a very stressful job (Attorney) that I need to attend to. I have been putting off going back into the office taking care of my responsibilities because I am scared to death of seeing all the **** that I have to do and things that have gone to **** since I've been out. That, coupled with the fact that I am absolutely ashamed to see my co-workers/bosses. I have pretty much lost the job, but I have somethings that I need to "wind down" before I can move on. I am also terrified that the stress of all the things at work will send me over the edge and make me say **** it and take a drink.
My question is what do you more experienced folks reccomend? Try and hold off 'till have more sobriety or go ahead and begin the journey of "living sober?"
I have a very stressful job (Attorney) that I need to attend to. I have been putting off going back into the office taking care of my responsibilities because I am scared to death of seeing all the **** that I have to do and things that have gone to **** since I've been out. That, coupled with the fact that I am absolutely ashamed to see my co-workers/bosses. I have pretty much lost the job, but I have somethings that I need to "wind down" before I can move on. I am also terrified that the stress of all the things at work will send me over the edge and make me say **** it and take a drink.
My question is what do you more experienced folks reccomend? Try and hold off 'till have more sobriety or go ahead and begin the journey of "living sober?"
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi and Welcome!
Good for you having 17 days sober. Early sobriety is really hard, and facing all the messes that we've made while in active addiction is difficult, to say the least. Don't let it drive you back to drinking.
Hopefully you can find some energy to go back to work and begin to tie up all the losse ends before too long. You need to find a balance between going back too soon and not putting it off so long that it adds to your anxiety. It's not going to be easy to go back to work by the sound of it, whenever you do it, so try to pick a time when you're feeling positive.
Something that really, really helped me in early recovery was getting outside and walking a LOT. It opened my mind and my heart, as well as helping me feel physically better.
Good for you having 17 days sober. Early sobriety is really hard, and facing all the messes that we've made while in active addiction is difficult, to say the least. Don't let it drive you back to drinking.
Hopefully you can find some energy to go back to work and begin to tie up all the losse ends before too long. You need to find a balance between going back too soon and not putting it off so long that it adds to your anxiety. It's not going to be easy to go back to work by the sound of it, whenever you do it, so try to pick a time when you're feeling positive.
Something that really, really helped me in early recovery was getting outside and walking a LOT. It opened my mind and my heart, as well as helping me feel physically better.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I agree with what Anna said, and walking or any type of exercise was a lifesaver for me especially in those early days. I didn't feel like doing much either, but my circumstances really didn't allow me to stop working and such. I was at work one day, intoxicated, came back the next my first of many days now sober.. I threw myself into my work quickly, functioning so much better than I had as a drinker. I'm sure it's overwhelming if you've been gone a while, but like Anna said, the anxiety about missing more work might be more detrimental than the anxiety about being there and having a lot to wrap up, fix, straighten out, and address. I was also ashamed to see my boss, and my coworkers, my deal was finally on the table so to speak, but I had no choice but to face the music content in the fact that I would never ever again be in a situation to f' up at work because of alcohol.
I hope you find some direction soon.. hang in there You've done great so far choosing not to pick up, and if you do decide to say **** it and drink, that is also a choice you have.
I hope you find some direction soon.. hang in there You've done great so far choosing not to pick up, and if you do decide to say **** it and drink, that is also a choice you have.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi Benjamin33, Welcome to SR. I will wait for the people with more experience to come along & give you some suggestions. Firstly, congratulations on going into detox & your 17 days sober.
I am closer to your situation, actually I just finished things up. The only advice I have for your upcoming challenges are:
- A minute, hour & day at a time.
- Focus on one thing at a time... everything else can wait.
- You are on an exciting new life/path, it is going to be tough changing course right now but think of the new possibilities when you do.
You can do this, see my signature for my final thought \/
All of the best in your recovery, please continue to share with us.
NB
P.S. Maybe start returning to the office after hours & work your way back into a schedule as you catch up (take work home, start with some half days or a couple of hours at a time)
I am closer to your situation, actually I just finished things up. The only advice I have for your upcoming challenges are:
- A minute, hour & day at a time.
- Focus on one thing at a time... everything else can wait.
- You are on an exciting new life/path, it is going to be tough changing course right now but think of the new possibilities when you do.
You can do this, see my signature for my final thought \/
All of the best in your recovery, please continue to share with us.
NB
P.S. Maybe start returning to the office after hours & work your way back into a schedule as you catch up (take work home, start with some half days or a couple of hours at a time)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by 51anna 
Hi and Welcome!
Good for you having 17 days sober. Early sobriety is really hard, and facing all the messes that we've made while in active addiction is difficult, to say the least. Don't let it drive you back to drinking.
Hopefully you can find some energy to go back to work and begin to tie up all the losse ends before too long. You need to find a balance between going back too soon and not putting it off so long that it adds to your anxiety. It's not going to be easy to go back to work by the sound of it, whenever you do it, so try to pick a time when you're feeling positive.
Something that really, really helped me in early recovery was getting outside and walking a LOT. It opened my mind and my heart, as well as helping me feel physically better.
Good for you having 17 days sober. Early sobriety is really hard, and facing all the messes that we've made while in active addiction is difficult, to say the least. Don't let it drive you back to drinking.
Hopefully you can find some energy to go back to work and begin to tie up all the losse ends before too long. You need to find a balance between going back too soon and not putting it off so long that it adds to your anxiety. It's not going to be easy to go back to work by the sound of it, whenever you do it, so try to pick a time when you're feeling positive.
Something that really, really helped me in early recovery was getting outside and walking a LOT. It opened my mind and my heart, as well as helping me feel physically better.
As for the exercise, I have been meaning to begin doing some sort of exercise. The thing is that a couple of days after I returned home, I slipped on the stairs and hurt my toe really bad. It is feeling better. Either way, there is no reason that I couldn't go to the gym and ride a stationary bike. I am going to make a point to try and get some kind of exercise tomorrow.
Thanks for all the helpful advice,
Ben
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by Believe808
Before you go in to talk with your boss do what my sponsor always tells me to do, Breathe IN FAITH and Breathe OUT FEAR and say the Serenity Prayer. It really does work.
Ben
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I had the advantage (?) of a two month rehab before I went back into work to face the music... I too work in a high stakes job. Even after the two months, the first few weeks were a little strange.
A little different for me because I still have my position... However what Believe said has helped me so much, the serenity prayer yea, but faith that God will take care of me. For God to take care of me, I have to keep trying to do the "next right thing". I have found that the seas get stormy inside of me when I don't keep the faith and especially when I am putting off doing the "next right thing"...
Well FWIW... Ben, you are doing great... going to meetings, searching for your higher power, praying... Do the next right thing, you'll be OK!!
Mark
A little different for me because I still have my position... However what Believe said has helped me so much, the serenity prayer yea, but faith that God will take care of me. For God to take care of me, I have to keep trying to do the "next right thing". I have found that the seas get stormy inside of me when I don't keep the faith and especially when I am putting off doing the "next right thing"...
Well FWIW... Ben, you are doing great... going to meetings, searching for your higher power, praying... Do the next right thing, you'll be OK!!
Mark
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Glad you found us and jumped right in and shared what's going on. So happy to hear you're going to Meetings. Removing the alcohol from our systems is just a small part of Recovery. Have you been keeping your eyes open for someone to ask to be your Sponsor, even if just a temporary one. And I hope you're getting phone numbers. Building up a face to face support system is so important.
As far as going back to work to "face the music", for me, the anxiety of avoiding a situation is ususally worse than confronting what I have been avoiding. I can either sit and dwell on a situation until I build it up to be so huge or just face it. And when you are ready to go back to work on a daily basis, perhaps you could just go half days for a few weeks. Although we have to face the consequences of our actions, you don't need to walk headfirst into a stressful, chaotic situation. One of the slogans you'll end up hearing alot is Keep It Simple.
God Bless,
Judy
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 124
Benjamin, Congratulations on all that you've accomplished so far. I like the advice I've already read here. Please keep us posted as to how things are going and what is working for you. Keeping your sobriety is #1, let me just say that.
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
Congratulations on making this HUGE change for the better. I can relate to a lot of what you said.
I agree with what SQ said, the anxiety of avoiding is almost always worse than confronting. I think that's one of the healing message we learn in the steps.
I might suggest that, now that you are sober, one of the ways I think you will find peace moving forward is to try and have being of service to others at the forefront of your thinking, and that includes work. We do this by a) first and foremost, remaining sober and not repeating the same behaviors that put us in jeopardy, and b) praying throughout the day that we be guided in right thought and right action to be of maximum service to those around us.
Another tool of sobriety (for me) is learning to separate the actions we must take from any expectation of the result. So think about your first day, whom you will see, and whom you can help and how.
I don't know what exactly you mean when you say you have lost this job, but try to approach just one day at a time with this in mind. Maybe you will be there for another week, another month, who knows? But make the time you have an opportunity to practice the program and to know that you are doing the best you can. And some days the best you can do will not be as much as you'd like to do. That's ok too.
M
I agree with what SQ said, the anxiety of avoiding is almost always worse than confronting. I think that's one of the healing message we learn in the steps.
I might suggest that, now that you are sober, one of the ways I think you will find peace moving forward is to try and have being of service to others at the forefront of your thinking, and that includes work. We do this by a) first and foremost, remaining sober and not repeating the same behaviors that put us in jeopardy, and b) praying throughout the day that we be guided in right thought and right action to be of maximum service to those around us.
Another tool of sobriety (for me) is learning to separate the actions we must take from any expectation of the result. So think about your first day, whom you will see, and whom you can help and how.
I don't know what exactly you mean when you say you have lost this job, but try to approach just one day at a time with this in mind. Maybe you will be there for another week, another month, who knows? But make the time you have an opportunity to practice the program and to know that you are doing the best you can. And some days the best you can do will not be as much as you'd like to do. That's ok too.
M
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Yay! I love where you have gotten to. Great, great response to the suggestions here.
When I first got sober I could not stay in the house for any length of time because it made me want to drink.
I joined the gym and started taking kick boxing classes after work. It was so great and I lost 50 pounds my first year! WooHoo. But more importantly, it helped me to learn how to balance life and health
When I first got sober I could not stay in the house for any length of time because it made me want to drink.
I joined the gym and started taking kick boxing classes after work. It was so great and I lost 50 pounds my first year! WooHoo. But more importantly, it helped me to learn how to balance life and health
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