DigitalDreamz

Hi everybody.. hope everybody is remaining clean and sober. At my IOP group last night, my counselor asked me how I identify my complacency. I told him that I'm not complacent with my recovery right now because I always know to be aware because any situation can arise. He kind of gave me an odd look so now I ask the sober recovery community...

"How do you identify your complacency?"

Hope to hear what you all have to say.

Thanks alot. Make it don't fake it !!

Anna

I don't think I ever do feel complacent. Even after all these years, I still work on my recovery every day and I come here to SR every day. This disease is relentless.

Gypsy Feet

Maybe he doesn't know the definition haha. The name of my complacency is "cocky"! I know I have this crap beat, I know I am through with it.


But just in case I am wrong, I will stick around SR, work on my codie issues, and keep an I out for that nasty little shoulder devil

joedris

He didn't ask you if you were complacent, he asked how you identify your complacency. I'd identify mine as a state of mind where I think it's ok to have a drink. And that would not be a good idea.

adore79

I sometimes find myself wondering into a state of complacency in that i stop being mindful and i stop working on my spirituality. I blow off meditation and prayer and because of this i start feeling low and wanting to drink. So, i guess my complacency would be laziness.

keithj

Ha! I think I'd identify that as my delusion. My complacency is the state of mind where I think I'll recover by hearing how someone else did instead of doing what they did.

grateful2b

if I ever become complacent (too casual) about the damage my DOC can do in my life ...it can put me at risk to use...

flutter

Yep, my counselor and I have talked about that too, that's where he said I'd get tripped up, if I became complacent. I see it like Lisa does, as cockyness, arrogance, that feeling that "I'm over it now" or "I'm stronger than that.." feeling. No, I need to REMEMBER where I was, and where I could go back to with one drink. No thank you! Always vigilant, but still living my life happy and alcohol free. I think there's a difference too, in vigilance about sobriety, and a dependency on all things 'recovery'.. course that's a whole other Oprah

Aysha

I owuld and have identified mine when I get way too comfortable. Not so much arrogant in my clean time. But way too comfortable.I would be stupid to think I had this beat. But I do get that feeling of I may be able to with stand temptation for that very moment. And that one moment is all it takes for me to be a dumbass and try and test myself.
I think more to try an dprove to myself that I am strong enough to face it and not give in.
But I know better.

shaun00

Do i feel invincible?.........do i ignore it when i feel s....t.?

Do i refuse to identify why i feel s...t........?.

Do i shrug off the fact that I'm finding alcohol attractive again?

DO i spend alot of time identifying OTHERS short comings.

Do i stop listening and start to preach.?

Do i put my self on a pedestal talking down to newcomers thinking I'm Omnipotent.?

Have i forgot where i went to?...........and who got me back?

some questions Ive asked myself in the past...........if it helps.

how do i avoid complacency?...........ask myself some of these questions with brutal self honesty.

McGowdog

There's a line in that book (A.A.) that says,

So for me, my "laurels" or "complacency", perhaps, is everything I've done up to this point that I think keeps me sober. We have but a daily reprieve. Every day we must do this, whatever program you've selected for recovery.

CrackQuack

Mine, also, is the feeling of getting comfortable. I got this thing beat. Nothing can stop me now, so I don't have to worry about going to meetings or doing step work. Then things like Friday Night, happen, to remind me that I cannot do it alone and I sure don't got it beat in any sense of the word. No, I didn't relapse, but I very well could have if I had not spoken out. As rediculous as it sounded to say it, I did anyway, just to get it off my chest. And I am glad I did. It may be a tire gauge to him but it was a stem to me. My boyfriend and I didn't argue about it or anything, I just got a little shocked over seeing the tire gauge in his glove box. Hadn't seen one in over a 100 days and THAT one (100 some days ago) sure didn't look ANYTHING like a tire gauge. My poor boyfriend...
But we've got to stay vigilant and work on our recovery. Going back out is not an option. No matter how much our addictions would like to convince us otherwise.

Wolfchild

In my life, complacency reveals itself in a variety of ways;

When i am not moving forward in my recovery process and see nothing wrong with that. When i sit back and let others shoulder the responsibilty of carrying the message to the addict who still suffers. When i slack off in any of the basics that helped me to get clean and rationalize doing it. When there's little or no growth in my relationship with God, my sponsor, or others. When i start depending on what i think i should do rather than on the experience of others. When i've stopped writing on Steps or Traditions without telling my sponsor about it. When i don't share my experience, strength, and hope in meetings because "i don't feel like it". When i am not fufilling a committment that someone has entrusted me with. When i haven't taken the time to pray or meditate because i've made the excuse that there's not enough time for it. When i'm comfortable with what i have instead of reaching out to enter the next phase of my recovery. When i put anything in front of my recovery and believe that that's OK to do.

Complacency amounts to the same thing as being stagnant in my life. If i'm not willing to do whatever it takes to participate fully in my life and in my recovery, the possibility of a relapse becoming reality is just a matter of time.

Tazman53

Good topic with some good replies.

Cocky..... of yea!!!! That is one I work on avoiding, when I get to thinking well I got it beat! I need do no more, the craving and obsession for the booze is gone.

Cocky I would imagine would lead to resting on my laurels thinking smugly to myself "I have no need to be vigalent, no reason to try and learn more because I know it all now!! LOL

When I see the newcomer walk in the door and think to myself, "There is something I never have to worry about again!"

I need to always be aware that I only have a DAILY reprieve from my alcoholism and that reprieve is contigent upon my spiritual condition TODAY! Today only, for that is all I will ever have is today.

I need to remember that I am not all that and a bag of chips.......

I can not stay sober alone, but WE can!

keithj

My first sponsor hammered into me the idea that I can't stay sober on yesterday's actions. He taught me to ask everyday, "what am I doing for my sobriety today?" I've kept that with me. Am I taking the actions (practicing these principles) today that allow me to continue growing?

jamdls

Good topic, I had not thought of this before and haven't really felt complacent as yet and I don't work a formal program so I'm not reminded often. So my complacency would also be laziness and I'm going to work on that.