Had to find out for myself!!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Had to find out for myself!!!!
When i stopped drinking i moved away from from the area i knew… all the people i knew… to be honest the only people i really knew drank… I lived my life outside of work in the pub…. so i was advised that i shouldn’t see them until i felt strong enough to be in their company and not be tempted.
Ever since… i have been fighting what i know is good advice…. i wouldn’t accept that i couldn’t see my friends… and i’ve been miserable… i wouldn’t let it go… i wanted to see them… why does stopping drinking have to take everything away from me?… i was angry… i was very angry with myself for letting my life turn out this way.
So… friday night i went to stay at my best mates house…. i’ve already wrote i was tempted to drink… but i didn’t…. i was sooooo bored…. she drank… and i found i had nothing to say to her…. when we were both drinking…. we could sit up to the early hours righting the world…. but this was different…. we hardly said two words to eachother… to be honest i played scrabble on my mobile most of the night… offering her a go when i couldn’t get a word….
She went off to bed earlier than me drunk…. and i surfed the net for a while… even went to an online AA meeting….
Next morning i got up and thought… right… what else can i handle…. so i went to the pub where my friends would be…. i didnt think twice about walking in… it felt natural… i felt strong….
There were only a few people i know in as it was still early… midday…. but i swear… the people that were in were sitting in the same seats… having the same conversations as when i walked out two and half months ago… i ordered a 7up…. got afew comments…. are you working?… your not still onthat health kick? etc….
I’ve not managed to be honest with them about my drinking….
I drank my juice quick time and left…. i did what i had come to do… there is nothing left for me there anymore…. but i had to find out for myself….
I beleive now… i can truely move forward in what i am doing…. there is no…. what am i missing….
The pub I thought was my life…. these people i thought were my life…
But i have moved on… i never really saw it before because i was always looking back for what i might miss… instead of looking forward to what i have still yet to gain….
I woke this morning and life seems not so bad… all i need to keep reminding myself is to keep looking forward.
be well
louis
Ever since… i have been fighting what i know is good advice…. i wouldn’t accept that i couldn’t see my friends… and i’ve been miserable… i wouldn’t let it go… i wanted to see them… why does stopping drinking have to take everything away from me?… i was angry… i was very angry with myself for letting my life turn out this way.
So… friday night i went to stay at my best mates house…. i’ve already wrote i was tempted to drink… but i didn’t…. i was sooooo bored…. she drank… and i found i had nothing to say to her…. when we were both drinking…. we could sit up to the early hours righting the world…. but this was different…. we hardly said two words to eachother… to be honest i played scrabble on my mobile most of the night… offering her a go when i couldn’t get a word….
She went off to bed earlier than me drunk…. and i surfed the net for a while… even went to an online AA meeting….
Next morning i got up and thought… right… what else can i handle…. so i went to the pub where my friends would be…. i didnt think twice about walking in… it felt natural… i felt strong….
There were only a few people i know in as it was still early… midday…. but i swear… the people that were in were sitting in the same seats… having the same conversations as when i walked out two and half months ago… i ordered a 7up…. got afew comments…. are you working?… your not still onthat health kick? etc….
I’ve not managed to be honest with them about my drinking….
I drank my juice quick time and left…. i did what i had come to do… there is nothing left for me there anymore…. but i had to find out for myself….
I beleive now… i can truely move forward in what i am doing…. there is no…. what am i missing….
The pub I thought was my life…. these people i thought were my life…
But i have moved on… i never really saw it before because i was always looking back for what i might miss… instead of looking forward to what i have still yet to gain….
I woke this morning and life seems not so bad… all i need to keep reminding myself is to keep looking forward.
be well
louis
Thank you for sharing that. I know when I first got sober I too thought I was losing "friends" and a very important part of my life. They weren't really my friends, afterall.. and I don't have a reason to go to bars anymore. That's ok with me, there's a huge world out there, just sometimes scary to discover. I thought the bar world was huge.. ha..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Thanks guys....
It's amazing how much our old lives have us thinking thats the only way to go...
I was advised to not go to the pub... i had to.... my head would not let me move on until i had been.... i've been.... time to move on....
There are no regrets now..... just forward looking thinking
be well
louis
It's amazing how much our old lives have us thinking thats the only way to go...
I was advised to not go to the pub... i had to.... my head would not let me move on until i had been.... i've been.... time to move on....
There are no regrets now..... just forward looking thinking
be well
louis
Great post! I've had similar experience in seeing people I used to drink with and realizing that they were still having the same stupid conversations as months before. Drinking as a way of life is so boring nothing changes and sobriety brings new life.
What a relief! By the title of your thread, I thought you were going to say that you went out and drank, only to find out that it still sucks. . . problems didn't go away and the hangovers still hurt bad!
This is one of the times that I am so glad that I was wrong! I know you have been struggling and I hope this is what you needed to do to move on. You deserve happiness!
So glad things worked out.
God Bless,
Judy
This is one of the times that I am so glad that I was wrong! I know you have been struggling and I hope this is what you needed to do to move on. You deserve happiness!
So glad things worked out.
God Bless,
Judy
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