My Story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 61
My Story
My name is Steve and I may be an alcoholic and this is my story:
I'm married, going to be 10 years this August, with my best friend in the world, the love of my life, and my best drinking buddy. We have 3 children, aged 8, 7, and 5. We live in Suburban Chicago, tree lined streets, trains in and out of Chicago, children out playing ball in the yards, the sort of place Donald Sutherland and Mary Tyler Moore staged Ordinary People, only better. My wife works as a professional at a hospital, and although my work has been through some hectic times, the guy signing (one of my) my paychecks the same guy that hired me out of college 15 years ago. And he used to be married to my sister. More on that down the road.
Over the years, drinking has became more and more important to my wife and I. Mainly red wine. She is from England and moved here on a big adventure around the world and I am proud to say I stopped her on her first leg right in my shabby apartment in a sketchy part of the northside of Chicago. Neither of us went home for Christmas that year, extremely unusual for both of us, so both families knew we were in love. And we were. I decided to get her a horse carriage ride down Michigan Ave and Lake Shore Drive on Christmas Eve and we both laughed that we should get out half way and push the horse. After that, we laughed as we photographed ourselves outside of a cleverly bar called "The Alcohol Abuse Center". Good branding to say the least, a good laugh for the young professionals in the area, but on Christmas Eve at 8pm was very appropriate. We went home and made love on Christmas morning, never imagining that our path could ever lead us to an actual Alcohol Abuse Center, without the quotes.
That's we we are heading. Fast forward 10 plus years, she has lost both of her parents, we have 3 children of differing obedience, I have an incredible unstable job situations where people are being investigated by the Feds and in some cases indicted, who knows who's next and whether I'm not going to get paid again, and we both have quite the drinking habit, to put it mildly.
I have been keeping my eye on my (formerly) beautiful wife for some time. I don't put that word in apostrophes lightly, she is not what I remember her being when I see her struggle to maintain her eyesight and concentration when helping my children with homework. Think of the videotaping of David Hasselhoff eating the cheeseburger and subtract maybe 10% and you got it.
The wife might not, but if there is a god there is videotape of me doing the same thing. I'm sure somebody does, probably the kids.
Not good, not acceptable to me or her, not what we had in mind that Christmas.
The wife (as she shall be known around these parts) thankfully knows that there is a problem. She wants to quit drinking and is quite recently willing to enroll in programs to make it happen. I LOVE MY WIFE. That comes my problem:
I have to love and support my wife and I know for an absolute fact that THERE CAN BE NO DRINKING OR ALCOHOL IN MY HOUSE OR ANY OTHER THAT SHE IS ENTERING INTO, end of sentence, paragraph, chapter, story, novel, and verse.
I'm worried.
I drink!
Yea, I don't drink as much as her, well maybe I do, but I don't have the same blackout symptoms and same typical alcoholic behavior as her, but I DRINK AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT IT!
This week we both went into an evaluation program and we are both going into different series of treatments. This may be a mistake, but she is going in a few weeks from now (the kids are out of school first week of June and my sister will be back from a long trip to help), so I know we are putting it off, but I for one am serious about it and I really sense she is too.
(when is the "too many characters keyed" going to cut my post short)
In essence, I want to know if anyone here is interested in hearing my story from here on out. I like to write, but mainly I write fiction, and none of it has ever been published so I am clearly not a writer, but has just been a hobby for me. To be frank, I'm scared to write non-fiction, about my life, about my fears. I haven't shared but the basics. But I am willing to do it if anyone is willing to read it.
Deal?
Steve
I'm married, going to be 10 years this August, with my best friend in the world, the love of my life, and my best drinking buddy. We have 3 children, aged 8, 7, and 5. We live in Suburban Chicago, tree lined streets, trains in and out of Chicago, children out playing ball in the yards, the sort of place Donald Sutherland and Mary Tyler Moore staged Ordinary People, only better. My wife works as a professional at a hospital, and although my work has been through some hectic times, the guy signing (one of my) my paychecks the same guy that hired me out of college 15 years ago. And he used to be married to my sister. More on that down the road.
Over the years, drinking has became more and more important to my wife and I. Mainly red wine. She is from England and moved here on a big adventure around the world and I am proud to say I stopped her on her first leg right in my shabby apartment in a sketchy part of the northside of Chicago. Neither of us went home for Christmas that year, extremely unusual for both of us, so both families knew we were in love. And we were. I decided to get her a horse carriage ride down Michigan Ave and Lake Shore Drive on Christmas Eve and we both laughed that we should get out half way and push the horse. After that, we laughed as we photographed ourselves outside of a cleverly bar called "The Alcohol Abuse Center". Good branding to say the least, a good laugh for the young professionals in the area, but on Christmas Eve at 8pm was very appropriate. We went home and made love on Christmas morning, never imagining that our path could ever lead us to an actual Alcohol Abuse Center, without the quotes.
That's we we are heading. Fast forward 10 plus years, she has lost both of her parents, we have 3 children of differing obedience, I have an incredible unstable job situations where people are being investigated by the Feds and in some cases indicted, who knows who's next and whether I'm not going to get paid again, and we both have quite the drinking habit, to put it mildly.
I have been keeping my eye on my (formerly) beautiful wife for some time. I don't put that word in apostrophes lightly, she is not what I remember her being when I see her struggle to maintain her eyesight and concentration when helping my children with homework. Think of the videotaping of David Hasselhoff eating the cheeseburger and subtract maybe 10% and you got it.
The wife might not, but if there is a god there is videotape of me doing the same thing. I'm sure somebody does, probably the kids.
Not good, not acceptable to me or her, not what we had in mind that Christmas.
The wife (as she shall be known around these parts) thankfully knows that there is a problem. She wants to quit drinking and is quite recently willing to enroll in programs to make it happen. I LOVE MY WIFE. That comes my problem:
I have to love and support my wife and I know for an absolute fact that THERE CAN BE NO DRINKING OR ALCOHOL IN MY HOUSE OR ANY OTHER THAT SHE IS ENTERING INTO, end of sentence, paragraph, chapter, story, novel, and verse.
I'm worried.
I drink!
Yea, I don't drink as much as her, well maybe I do, but I don't have the same blackout symptoms and same typical alcoholic behavior as her, but I DRINK AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT IT!
This week we both went into an evaluation program and we are both going into different series of treatments. This may be a mistake, but she is going in a few weeks from now (the kids are out of school first week of June and my sister will be back from a long trip to help), so I know we are putting it off, but I for one am serious about it and I really sense she is too.
(when is the "too many characters keyed" going to cut my post short)
In essence, I want to know if anyone here is interested in hearing my story from here on out. I like to write, but mainly I write fiction, and none of it has ever been published so I am clearly not a writer, but has just been a hobby for me. To be frank, I'm scared to write non-fiction, about my life, about my fears. I haven't shared but the basics. But I am willing to do it if anyone is willing to read it.
Deal?
Steve
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Thank you for writing, and yes I read the whole thing 
Sounds like you two have quite the journey ahead of you. It's very important however, that you focus on YOU. She'll need to focus on herself.
What will your recovery look like? Are you willing/planning to stop drinking (I wasn't clear on that part, with the "I drink!" thrown in)? I know I know.. not 'as much'. You do enough reading around here and you'll find out very quickly that amount is pretty meaningless, it's the effect that it is having on your life that isn't.
That being said, my husband drinks. He drinks maybe once a week, 2 beers or so with "the guys". There is no alcohol in my house, and he still (5 months later) doesn't drink in front of me. Luckily his drinking is not important enough to him to interfere with my comfort around the house.. it's my only safe zone. While my recovery is my own, and I need to "not drink no matter what", it's critical for me to maintain the house as it is, and because my husband doesn't have an issue with alcohol, he could care less IF he drank, much less if it's at home or not, thank goodness.
What's your plan today?
Sounds like you two have quite the journey ahead of you. It's very important however, that you focus on YOU. She'll need to focus on herself.
What will your recovery look like? Are you willing/planning to stop drinking (I wasn't clear on that part, with the "I drink!" thrown in)? I know I know.. not 'as much'. You do enough reading around here and you'll find out very quickly that amount is pretty meaningless, it's the effect that it is having on your life that isn't.
That being said, my husband drinks. He drinks maybe once a week, 2 beers or so with "the guys". There is no alcohol in my house, and he still (5 months later) doesn't drink in front of me. Luckily his drinking is not important enough to him to interfere with my comfort around the house.. it's my only safe zone. While my recovery is my own, and I need to "not drink no matter what", it's critical for me to maintain the house as it is, and because my husband doesn't have an issue with alcohol, he could care less IF he drank, much less if it's at home or not, thank goodness.
What's your plan today?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
You're willing to support her sobriety, but are you ready to support your own sobriety? Do you not want to stop drinking? And if you do stop, will it become a resentment against her?
I only know for myself, that if I had a partner I was madly in love with, I'd go to the ends of the earth for that person. But that's me, my opinion, and I'm not you, nor is it my decision to make. It's all up to what you're willing to do, for yourself, for her, for your marriage.
I wish you the best, and welcome to SR!
I only know for myself, that if I had a partner I was madly in love with, I'd go to the ends of the earth for that person. But that's me, my opinion, and I'm not you, nor is it my decision to make. It's all up to what you're willing to do, for yourself, for her, for your marriage.
I wish you the best, and welcome to SR!
vicieux extraordinaire
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 205
Hi Steve. I knew there was a hint of a writing passion the minute i moved to the part were you described how you met your wife - really enjoyed your first post and welcome by the way!
I can relate to being on a very unstable line of work - both the lack of it or the stress of pulling through lead me to either drink to blow off some steam or drink while playing the waiting game.
You are worried but at the same time you are taking action over it, that is a great start.
I am looking forward to read more of your history and how it develops.
All the best
I can relate to being on a very unstable line of work - both the lack of it or the stress of pulling through lead me to either drink to blow off some steam or drink while playing the waiting game.
You are worried but at the same time you are taking action over it, that is a great start.
I am looking forward to read more of your history and how it develops.
All the best
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Maplewood, MN
Posts: 121
Hi Steve - I am glad to have read your story. I was in the same familar story, and I have to say, I think women especially as we age just can not metabolize the alcohol like we used to, men handle it better. I was like your wife at the end of my drinking career. I was "black" most of the time, didn't eat, slept all the time, worn donw physically, and definately mentally. While my SO kept right up there with me, but he never had the same effects. Now it may happen down the road for him, it is a progressive disease. I quit, he didn't, and yes I do have a hard time with that. At this point I am disgusted by it most of the time. I thought I would share my 2 cents. I was always so mad that I was in such rough shape, when he could drink like I did and it didn't effect him the same way. I was actually at the point of being yellow, and things started shutting down on me. BUT happy to say, its been 8 months and all my parts are back to normal Thank God, the body is an amazing thing. I wish you all the luck, and I am so glad to hear you are going to do it together!
Thank God, the body is an amazing thing. I wish you all the luck, and I am so glad to hear you are going to do it together!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi Steve and Welcome,
I'm glad that you and your wife and seeking help for your problems with alcohol. And, I think it's great that you are supportive of your wife. I'm not clear, either, on whether or not you plan to stop drinking as well? My husband (who never had a drinking problem) stopped drinking when I did and we never, ever have alcohol in the house. I am grateful for that. I do know that if you do decide to stop drinking, you will need to do it for yourself and not just to help your wife. I hope you continue to post!
I'm glad that you and your wife and seeking help for your problems with alcohol. And, I think it's great that you are supportive of your wife. I'm not clear, either, on whether or not you plan to stop drinking as well? My husband (who never had a drinking problem) stopped drinking when I did and we never, ever have alcohol in the house. I am grateful for that. I do know that if you do decide to stop drinking, you will need to do it for yourself and not just to help your wife. I hope you continue to post!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 61
Thanks for all of your support. One of the big problems, which surprised me, was the logistical issue of not having husband/wife in the same treatments at the same time. Make's sense to me, don't want the husband's ******** with the wife stopping the wife from venting her ******** about the husband. At the same time, that's ****** up, we are both drinking and talking about NOT drinking. The wife and I are getting ready to have a conversation, we'll be in touch.
Wish us luck, OK, because next thing you know we'll be upstairs in bed trying to make love and that hasn't been going quite so good either. This sucks.
Wish us luck, OK, because next thing you know we'll be upstairs in bed trying to make love and that hasn't been going quite so good either. This sucks.
To Thine Own Self Be True
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: So Cal
Posts: 1,946
Welcome!
I would love to hear more of your story. And I pray that you are both serious about getting sober. Your kids need you sober. I am a wife and a mother and have a little over a year sober. Being a sober Mom is the best part of being sober.
I found it interesting that in the beginning of your post it was about both of your drinking and both of you needing to change but by the end it was about her being the "worser" alcoholic. Hmmm. I believe that women have a harder time handling alcohol. I believe it takes us down harder and quicker because of our hormonal makeup but that does not mean that your problem is so much less. If you are not an alcoholic and this is the love of your life, you should have no problem quitting drinking for the sake of your family, right? Your wife is going to need all the support and love her drinking buddy can manage.
And do not think too far ahead. It is just for today. Do not drink one minute, one hour, one day at a time. It is SOOOOOOO worth it! I look forward to hearing about your journey.
I would love to hear more of your story. And I pray that you are both serious about getting sober. Your kids need you sober. I am a wife and a mother and have a little over a year sober. Being a sober Mom is the best part of being sober.
I found it interesting that in the beginning of your post it was about both of your drinking and both of you needing to change but by the end it was about her being the "worser" alcoholic. Hmmm. I believe that women have a harder time handling alcohol. I believe it takes us down harder and quicker because of our hormonal makeup but that does not mean that your problem is so much less. If you are not an alcoholic and this is the love of your life, you should have no problem quitting drinking for the sake of your family, right? Your wife is going to need all the support and love her drinking buddy can manage.
And do not think too far ahead. It is just for today. Do not drink one minute, one hour, one day at a time. It is SOOOOOOO worth it! I look forward to hearing about your journey.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
hmm still unclear on the plan. Is there one? A lot of people post here before they are ready for change..
Treatment should absolutely be seperate!! This is an individual issue, and perhaps depart from treatment for alcohol issues, couples counseling could be done together at some point.
Stick around!
Treatment should absolutely be seperate!! This is an individual issue, and perhaps depart from treatment for alcohol issues, couples counseling could be done together at some point.
Stick around!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Good to see a new member here with us.....
We also have a Blog feature ...you might be interested
in keeping your thoughts there too.
Welcome to our recovery community
Blessings to you your wife and children
We also have a Blog feature ...you might be interested
in keeping your thoughts there too.
Welcome to our recovery community
Blessings to you your wife and children
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Welcome to our family, Steve. I enjoyed your post, but it brought tears to my eyes as well as making me smile. So familiar. At 36 my husband and I were in the same situation, but did not see what we were doing to ourselves. He is now gone, and I've only just last year gotten sober. I'm so glad you're on your way to figuring out a new way to live - being anesthetized all the time is such a tragic waste of life. Thank goodness your wife isn't fighting you on this. I look forward to hearing how it's going.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey Pete... Welcome to SR
I am the drunk, my wife drinks... just one tall white wine spritzer each night, maybe one and a half on Saturday nite.... We were drinking buddies, I got wasted, she just got mellow... She's not an alcoholic... It was pretty tough for me when I first got sobriety, I'm gettin' used to it now... in fact she can keep the bottle in the fridge now... She didn't quit drinking for me... sort of wished she had initially, but now, well, she is way past legal age (still looks good!!!) and if she wants a drink in her own house, well she damn well should be able to... Maybe that was a little off your topic, but pertinent, I'll come back to it.
Your wife may be an alcoholic, or she may be a heavy drinker with a problem. If she wants to quit, recover, whatever, that's her program. You can support her, but you can't do it for or with her. If you want to address YOUR issues about HER drinking, Al-anon or the Friends and Family section here on SR.
What about you? Are you an alcoholic? Heavy drinker? That's a serious question. This may be an opportunity for you to find out. If you want to support your wife, and you know there can't be alcohol anywhere around, then a good way to find out if your an alcoholic is to just stop drinking... should be no problem for you if you are not. If you are an alcoholic, well, maybe it won't be so easy.
I like AA for myself... They have a book simply entitled "Alcoholics Anonymous"... AKA, the Big Book... Lots of good stuff about what I'm talking about... Barnes and Noble, Borders, or better, any AA meeting. I recommend it, there are others, I just like that one a lot, at least as a place to start.
I can only say that you two are on a journey, an important one that may save your marriage, your lives... But you two are on separate paths, hopefully pointing the same directions, and may even intertwine a little... let her walk hers, you yours....
I am 8 months sober, life is good, not always easy. My wife and are married 25 years, if our health holds up, I am hopeful it will be another 25, at least. Our relationship is changing, sometimes it's scary, but when you love someone....
Good luck, I'm praying for you... Keep us up to date!!!
Mark
I am the drunk, my wife drinks... just one tall white wine spritzer each night, maybe one and a half on Saturday nite.... We were drinking buddies, I got wasted, she just got mellow... She's not an alcoholic... It was pretty tough for me when I first got sobriety, I'm gettin' used to it now... in fact she can keep the bottle in the fridge now... She didn't quit drinking for me... sort of wished she had initially, but now, well, she is way past legal age (still looks good!!!) and if she wants a drink in her own house, well she damn well should be able to... Maybe that was a little off your topic, but pertinent, I'll come back to it.
Your wife may be an alcoholic, or she may be a heavy drinker with a problem. If she wants to quit, recover, whatever, that's her program. You can support her, but you can't do it for or with her. If you want to address YOUR issues about HER drinking, Al-anon or the Friends and Family section here on SR.
What about you? Are you an alcoholic? Heavy drinker? That's a serious question. This may be an opportunity for you to find out. If you want to support your wife, and you know there can't be alcohol anywhere around, then a good way to find out if your an alcoholic is to just stop drinking... should be no problem for you if you are not. If you are an alcoholic, well, maybe it won't be so easy.
I like AA for myself... They have a book simply entitled "Alcoholics Anonymous"... AKA, the Big Book... Lots of good stuff about what I'm talking about... Barnes and Noble, Borders, or better, any AA meeting. I recommend it, there are others, I just like that one a lot, at least as a place to start.
I can only say that you two are on a journey, an important one that may save your marriage, your lives... But you two are on separate paths, hopefully pointing the same directions, and may even intertwine a little... let her walk hers, you yours....
I am 8 months sober, life is good, not always easy. My wife and are married 25 years, if our health holds up, I am hopeful it will be another 25, at least. Our relationship is changing, sometimes it's scary, but when you love someone....
Good luck, I'm praying for you... Keep us up to date!!!
Mark
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Brighton UK
Posts: 328
Hi Pete. Welcome to SR. In answer to your question, yes I would like to hear more about your situation. I suspect you have scratched the surface here as their are some aspects that are confusing to me. Look forward to your next post.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hi Steve,
Nice to meet you and welcome to the SR family. I will read your story and am looking forward to hearing about your AA meeting.
I got sober 9 months ago. My drinking partner and husband of 14 years did not. I lived with alcohol in my home for six months. Then I had enough. He moved out, we ended up divorcing.
Now, he is sober and working the 12 steps with the help of his AA sponsor. I continue to attend Alanon meetings. My children and I are now able to spend time with a sober-recovering father/friend when time permits.
Our futures? No worries, we are all taking life One Day at a Time.
All the best to you and your wife as you take control of your lives, one day at a time!
Nice to meet you and welcome to the SR family. I will read your story and am looking forward to hearing about your AA meeting.
I got sober 9 months ago. My drinking partner and husband of 14 years did not. I lived with alcohol in my home for six months. Then I had enough. He moved out, we ended up divorcing.
Now, he is sober and working the 12 steps with the help of his AA sponsor. I continue to attend Alanon meetings. My children and I are now able to spend time with a sober-recovering father/friend when time permits.
Our futures? No worries, we are all taking life One Day at a Time.
All the best to you and your wife as you take control of your lives, one day at a time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 61
This is the second time I wrote this, the first was deleted when I closed my laptop earlier. I guess this is a condensed, but this time with updates!
I walked though those strange and unfamiliar doors again today, this time to my first AA meeting. I felt remarkably as strange as when I went in for my evaluation, but so unfamiliar because I have never been to an AA meeting before. Would the people be as strange and unnerving as I had read about (with apologies to the AA people that I had read about)? Would they be a group that would have me, as Groucho Marx said "I would not want to be a member of any club that would have me as their member."? Good god, would I have to stand up and tell my story in front of a bunch of creatures I can only envision as Will Smith's enemies in "I Am Legend"? All I knew is I was hell bent not to speak.
In fact, the first thing I did was to speak, to ask a question to a random, pitiless drunkard soul, "This is an open meeting, right?" I managed. He nodded approvingly so I took my seat. 5 minutes early. Where's the bar, I thought, that might make meeting people easier. Alas it was only 10 am and I'm not much of a morning drinker, and well, that would kind of ruin the point of the whole thing I figured. So I sat there and read the walls. I don't know what order they go, so please don't respond that I have 1 where two should go and so forth. Act 1, we are powerless, I get that. Act 2 is coming to believe in a higher power. That's a bit of a problem, but if that power is Led Zepplin or the Beatles, then so be it. On with it. Act 3 is handing over the keys, I'll work on that. Act 4 is what I'm there for, the moral inventory of myself. I think I'll pass that as I'm basically a good guy that tries not to do much wrong. 5 might be a bit uncomfortable, but again in reference to 4 I really don't think that I have a LOT to atone for. Yea, I would like to be a better father to my kids, and there's a lot too that, but for them to understand its probably more like "let's go play catch more often" rather than "I'm sorry I stole money out of the bank account to pay for my weekend in Vegas with the boys." Not that I did that either. Act 5 to 6 might be a project, seeing as how I don't believe in God. #8 is good, because I have only my wife in mind that I have harmed, but will apologixe to the boss for showing up hung over on Mondays and they deal with alcohol abusers. 9 is kind of the same deal, maybe I give a paycheck back. Now 10 becomes interesting, because I don't really know what I've done wrong, outside of a few obvious actions. I'm quite sure that I have been wrong on more than a few occasions but maybe don't know it now. I'm curious. I want to work towards step 10 to see clearly what an ******* I've been but just don't know it yet. I'm sure to have a few examples. Part 11 I have no concept of, and can only hope that I can meditate my alcoholism away through prayer and meditation. Maybe someday I can understand that, but today bewildered. I like zone 12 however, it prompts everyone that has benefited by the program to help others. A self sustaining help program!
I was pointed out in the meeting today (to be fair I raised my hand when asked) as a first timer at an AA meeting. I wasn't ready, I wish I could have given a speech or even a heartfelt thankyou for having me. To be honest, I was doing my best not to break down and cry listening to this poor girls story and the support she was given. She was sober almost two years and this was her first talk. I was panicking, that I would need to give a talk, but I guess if that is years away then that's something to deal with down the road.
Afterall, we have until June 8th when the kids get out of school to deal with it.
We still have time to drink...
I walked though those strange and unfamiliar doors again today, this time to my first AA meeting. I felt remarkably as strange as when I went in for my evaluation, but so unfamiliar because I have never been to an AA meeting before. Would the people be as strange and unnerving as I had read about (with apologies to the AA people that I had read about)? Would they be a group that would have me, as Groucho Marx said "I would not want to be a member of any club that would have me as their member."? Good god, would I have to stand up and tell my story in front of a bunch of creatures I can only envision as Will Smith's enemies in "I Am Legend"? All I knew is I was hell bent not to speak.
In fact, the first thing I did was to speak, to ask a question to a random, pitiless drunkard soul, "This is an open meeting, right?" I managed. He nodded approvingly so I took my seat. 5 minutes early. Where's the bar, I thought, that might make meeting people easier. Alas it was only 10 am and I'm not much of a morning drinker, and well, that would kind of ruin the point of the whole thing I figured. So I sat there and read the walls. I don't know what order they go, so please don't respond that I have 1 where two should go and so forth. Act 1, we are powerless, I get that. Act 2 is coming to believe in a higher power. That's a bit of a problem, but if that power is Led Zepplin or the Beatles, then so be it. On with it. Act 3 is handing over the keys, I'll work on that. Act 4 is what I'm there for, the moral inventory of myself. I think I'll pass that as I'm basically a good guy that tries not to do much wrong. 5 might be a bit uncomfortable, but again in reference to 4 I really don't think that I have a LOT to atone for. Yea, I would like to be a better father to my kids, and there's a lot too that, but for them to understand its probably more like "let's go play catch more often" rather than "I'm sorry I stole money out of the bank account to pay for my weekend in Vegas with the boys." Not that I did that either. Act 5 to 6 might be a project, seeing as how I don't believe in God. #8 is good, because I have only my wife in mind that I have harmed, but will apologixe to the boss for showing up hung over on Mondays and they deal with alcohol abusers. 9 is kind of the same deal, maybe I give a paycheck back. Now 10 becomes interesting, because I don't really know what I've done wrong, outside of a few obvious actions. I'm quite sure that I have been wrong on more than a few occasions but maybe don't know it now. I'm curious. I want to work towards step 10 to see clearly what an ******* I've been but just don't know it yet. I'm sure to have a few examples. Part 11 I have no concept of, and can only hope that I can meditate my alcoholism away through prayer and meditation. Maybe someday I can understand that, but today bewildered. I like zone 12 however, it prompts everyone that has benefited by the program to help others. A self sustaining help program!
I was pointed out in the meeting today (to be fair I raised my hand when asked) as a first timer at an AA meeting. I wasn't ready, I wish I could have given a speech or even a heartfelt thankyou for having me. To be honest, I was doing my best not to break down and cry listening to this poor girls story and the support she was given. She was sober almost two years and this was her first talk. I was panicking, that I would need to give a talk, but I guess if that is years away then that's something to deal with down the road.
Afterall, we have until June 8th when the kids get out of school to deal with it.
We still have time to drink...
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
9Iron = Pete72? Maybe
Sorry if I'm wrong.
And you're right.. you do still have time to drink, until you don't. As prophetic as that probably sounds, I'm being quite literal.
Sounds a lot like a lot of us... just one more... just one more.
I suppose I could also have a few more, but the rest of my life is just more important than that now, thank God.
I wish you luck and safety with your decision to drink.
If you decide otherwise, we'll also be here to hear about that.
There is a blog feature on here as well, being a writer and all.. you may wish to use it to document this journey for yourself. Can't hurt I guess..
Sorry if I'm wrong.
And you're right.. you do still have time to drink, until you don't. As prophetic as that probably sounds, I'm being quite literal.
Sounds a lot like a lot of us... just one more... just one more.
I suppose I could also have a few more, but the rest of my life is just more important than that now, thank God.
I wish you luck and safety with your decision to drink.
If you decide otherwise, we'll also be here to hear about that.
There is a blog feature on here as well, being a writer and all.. you may wish to use it to document this journey for yourself. Can't hurt I guess..
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Yes I wonder also....Is 9Iron Pete? What's that about?
There is a great group of people here at SR that will share their experience strength and hope, not to mention offer their heart felt support for those who are struggling with alcoholism.
Are you sincerely interested in getting sober....?
There is a great group of people here at SR that will share their experience strength and hope, not to mention offer their heart felt support for those who are struggling with alcoholism.
Are you sincerely interested in getting sober....?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by 9Iron 
Act 4 is what I'm there for, the moral inventory of myself. I think I'll pass that as I'm basically a good guy that tries not to do much wrong. 5 might be a bit uncomfortable, but again in reference to 4 I really don't think that I have a LOT to atone for.
Atonement comes later!
Welcome to SR. Stay a while... don't do all your 12 steps in the first meeting. Take some time to get sober, get some sanity back. Everybody seems to have an opinion on how fast you should work the steps... but most agree, that you should have a really good first step before all else... then a really good second.... and then...........
Mark
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 61
Yes, your right, I guess I probably registered twice with the 2 most common names I use. I think I'll probably stick with 9Iron, what do you think? I have some things I have to get done this morning but will be back a little while later to post a new thread about day 1 of sobriety. This is it, I'm done. I just had to say goodbye I guess, now that's all. I've had my fill. Chat with you all later.
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