resacup

I was good until I got to my part-time job and then I started thinking how it wouldn't be that big a deal if I drank tonight. I just won't tell anybody. For 3 hours while I was working I was back in forth in my head. When my shift was over I was starting to feel sick from not eating much today ( my body is used to so much more calories ) and I was planning on working out after. So I had a second fight in my head about whether or not I was going to work out. Finally I decided just to DO IT! I know that if I hadn't worked out, I would probably be drinking tonight, or maybe not, but I am glad that I'm not. I'm so glad I found this website. Its very comforting.

coffeenut

I'm glad working out won over drinking.

Welcome to SR.

CarolD

Welcome.....

Congratulations on moving forward

jamdls

Congratulations! reminds me of that old song "I fought the law and the law one" only YOU won.

Tazman53

Good job Resa, one thing to keep in mind is HALT, that stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. These are things that lead to one feeling a need to drink, they are simple to take care of.

Hungry=Eat
Angry=Find a way to deal with the anger (Not always easy! LOL)
Lonely=Go to a meeting, go see a sober friend, call someone.
Tired=Sleep or just get some rest

Freeport

Good going resacup. I had a similar experience (Day 3) for me last night. Went for a run, came home terribly thirsty and craving a drink to quench it. Forced myself to knock down 12 ounces of ice-cold water first. Amazing how my need for alcohol just disappeared with that simple choice. I like the HALT acronym, though maybe I'll add a second T for thirsty. HALTT

resacup

I like that acronym too. Its amazing how I actually stood there, when I got off work and had to fight with myself to stay strong. It was like I was on the outside, a separate self, the healthy self, fighting with something that looks like me but has nothing but bad motives for any decisions that I make while "being that person".

solice

wow,

It was like I was on the outside, a separate self, the healthy self, fighting with something that looks like me but has nothing but bad motives for any decisions that I make while "being that person".

wow can I realte. I need to be stronger next time and fight that demon....

Anna

Good for you!

One thing I learned about in early recovery was honesty. Drinking had made such a liar out of me. My attitude was always to do whatever I could in order to drink, and then lie about it. So, learning to say No to drinking, even if no one else knew about it, was a big deal.

resacup

But someone would have known, me. That would have been the end to my recovery. I'm so glad to have made that decision. I thank god for everyones support on day 6.

Toomutch

Good for you... You fought and won that battle! Give yourself a pat on the back.

Tosh

Resacup,

I know what you mean. I've been sober for 18 days now, but one my second day of no alcohol I was going bonkers; really white knuckling it; and out of sheer desperation I ended up at an AA meeting, one hour after phoning the AA to find a local meeting.

If you're not already, give the AA a try! Honest. I'm just a regular working class - non religeous - bloke and if it was not for the AA I'd either be drunk, dead, or locked up somewhere.

And although I still get white knuckle moments, it's getting easier to stay sober, and strangely I'm really starting to enjoy the comraderie of the people in my AA Fellowship, and when you stick a load of alcoholics in one room; you're going to get some laughs.

Some of what happens and what you hear is so funny; no script writer could do better.

As I say, try the AA if you're not already doing so.

Tazman53

Oh yea!!!! LOL Tosh right in the Big Book it says "We are not a glum lot." I have laughed until I cried in some meetings, of course I have also cried tears of joy and sorrow in meetings as well. I will say though I have never been to a meeting that there was not laughter to be heard, before, during, & after the meeting.

I know if AA was all gloom and doom I would have left a long time ago, I got sober to live life, not merely exist, laughter is part of life!

resacup

First meeting I ever went to I was the one crying. Honestly, its me going back to those rooms and knowing that I have failed. I know i'm not the only one who has these feelings and I'm typing this knowing i'll be bombarded by positive comments about going its just my own pride that gets in the way. Baby steps.....

straykatz

Is a great one......... Im on day four and I find that an empty stomach/being tired really revs up my "adict voice" that tries to make excuses to drink.......... I bring quite a bit of food and water to the office and have been eating like six small meals daily. I always make sure im full between 4-7pm which is usually when the cravings pop in....... Then I remind myself how proud I am of myself for going four days and how good I am going to feel the next morning both physically and mentally. Also, I think about how disappointed I will be in myself if I re-lapse........and those awful feelings of guilt and helplessness and anxiety

I think AA is wonderful but personally I dont buy the disease thing or trusting in a higher power. A disease doesnt have hands that put booze in your mouth.
Putting faith in a "higher power" to help you stop using seems like an easy way to not realize that YOU are the one that controls whether you use or not............. As they say thoug, "whatever works"!

Tosh

The HP thing bothered me to begin with because I'm somewhere between athiest and agnostic; depending on my mood.

However, I do understand dogs to a certain extent. Now they say, if you understand dogs, you understand people; and I believe this to be true.

Now for a pet dog to be happy, it must understand that it's not the pack leader. A dog who wants to be pack leader has a lot of worries. Where does it get food? What happens if we get attacked. And probably lots of other doggy type worries.

So, for my dog, I'm the pack leader, or putting it another way; I'm my dog's HP; so my dog can just live life, a day at a time, without any worries; and he's truly happy.

I'm now arriving at a place where I ask my HP what I should do next, and trust my HP to guide me. I normally do the right sensible thing that I feel I should do. I mean it's no good for me asking my HP to ensure my monthly bills are paid if I'm not going out to work. So my HP wants me to work and my bills get paid! See?

Maybe, it's all a 'mind trick', but it does stop me worrying about paying the bills and all the other stuff we 'grown ups' worry about.

I'm only 20 days sober, just starting the steps, but I'll keep an open mind.

Hey, I was so desperate to stop drinking, if someone suggested a cure would be to shave my head and paint my ass blue, I'd've asked how short and what hue of blue?

least

Congrats on winning the 'demon fight'. You've got to always be on guard cause those thoughts can come up any time, anywhere. Just remember why you're staying sober, and tell that addict voice to 'shut up'!

joedris

Good job with the demons, my new friend. They'll be back, but you showed that you could handle them. I'm going to jump on the AA bandwagon. You won't be the first one to relapse and I assure you that everyone will be glad to see you back in the rooms. It's a great program that saved many lives, my own included.

Wolfchild

For your own sake, give yourself a break! Recovery is a process, not an event!!

When i stopped using and came to NA, every single habit my body had become used to, over the course of many years, came to an abrupt halt. The energy i had spent getting, using, and getting more was now suddenly freed up and i really didn't know what to do about it except to not use and go to meetings. The mental obsessions that i had grown accustomed to were now useless in trying to live a new way of life. i began to read everything i could get my hands on that had to do with NA. The emotional state of being that had become my own private hell suddenly had no purpose. i started to write on the Steps and call other addicts.

i learned that doing something different each day is important. i found out that the more i struggle with my desire to use, the less chance i have of staying clean. It became apparent to me that i needed to keep putting one foot in front of the other. It helped alot that i was so desperate to stop hurting!

Congratulations on getting another day clean and keep coming back!!