louis

Hi.... i really hope you guys are doing ok....

I saw my cognitive behavioural therapist and i have homework... i am to write an event from my past in as much detail as possible so we can discuss it at next visit....

My head has been racing all day and ive been so low i cant describe... I am going to do it soon.... ive been using every distraction i have to get away from this but it needs done...

This is going to be very difficult for me.... i made decisions earlier... that i would buy drink cos i know i will need it when i am done.... then my brain told me.... buy it before... drink it and it will be easier to get through what i have to do...

So i was in the shop... and i thought... hang on... louis your brains using this as an excuse for you to drink... *sneaky f*cker*... :o)
So i may have bought the shop out of comfort food... but no alcohol...

I thought... if i want to drink after i have done it... fair enough but then i have to go back out to the shop... and before i do that i have to call my AA friend... and after that i have to come on here.... reply to at least 4 posts... and check out chat..... and if i still decide to drink... i can...

Im hoping i wont.... anyway... sorry... this was actually a distraction in its self.... so i best go do what needs to be done...

Be well
louis

Missymae737

Hi Louis,

No matter what, do not drink!!

You are on the right path of using distractions, to combat the urge...

Keep reaching out for support, you can do this!!

bugsworth

Louise...Good job on recognizing the voice for what it is...a sneaky liar! That is a huge accomplishment and the more you do it the better you get at it! I am so glad to see that you are willing to use the simple tools presented to you...simply calling someone or reaching out here is paramount in times like these. If after all that you still want to drink add smash myself in head with hammer...that gets the job done quicker!
Stay the course!

Anna

Louis, you're doing great!

Recognizing that addict voice and dismissing it, is a huge step towards recovery.

Another thing, I've felt exactly the way you do right now and I have found that I have had huge breakthroughs at that time. Get through the exercise and I think you will find you have moved forward in your recovery.

adore79

Great job louis, im very proud of you for not picking up. Your plan sounds good, to call someone and come here before you drink. rule one is: dont pick up, no matter what! take care.

joedris

Hi Louis, You need to fire that committee in your head. All they do is argue and aren't helping you one bit. Unfortunately, the worst member of the group is the alcoholic and you can't fire him. He won't leave. But you can do as I did and lock him in the closet. It's so much easier to think clearly when it's quiet. Sit down and write about that "event" as best you can, then let us know how it went. I'm pretty sure that when you've done that you won't need the booze so much. And don't forget to call your AA friend. That's why you have his number.

louis

Thankyou guys....

Unfortunately my homework was a non starter... my brain is a blank about what i am to write about.... i cant rememeber much of my childhood and definately not what i am to write about....

I've decided im not gonna force it... when its ready to come it will... i refuse to spend more days like today...
I am sure the therapist is probably used to this...

I didnt drink... main thing.... did use some of my escapisms... but im sober...

Thankyou again and for your kind words

be well
louis