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You know, the dogmatic view is insane of alcoholism.

Old 05-13-2009, 02:19 PM
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Thumbs up You know, the dogmatic view is insane of alcoholism.

I'm not starting a flame, but I will not lie.

I drank the other night, and no I do not call it a relapse. To me it was PART of my recovery, 320+ days have passed without drinking and remember how BAD it felt to have a hangover/etc, ...

What is the point of continuing to COUNT THE DAYS OVER AND OVER AND OVER like the insane *no offense* 25-30 year AAers, maybe that gives some people hope.

Hey whatever works but to me I'm motivated by the fact that I'm still alive, I stayed sober, I'm not cured from alcoholism by far that's for sure, once you've had a taste and were an addict you NEVER GET CURED if you get tempted to drink again that is obvious.

That's the truth right there, I know you all know me, maybe you think I abandoned you in meetings yet that was not of my doing, that was others which I will not talk about.

But even being sober I needed something to make me realize why I am sober, I know health/etc is important but either way I drank 7 beers the other night, wasn't good to do at all and I'm not promoting it one bit, but I am glad I did, I'm not proud but I'm glad because I feel even better about NOT doing it anymore once again, sometimes we need a little reminder from our poison.

Well, that's all from me for now... counting days is good to an extent, but after a while ... god what's the point if you know you're finally in control, and I know many are not in control I know that, no one is in the long run. Well, I will pray for you all. Good day.
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Old 05-13-2009, 02:42 PM
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Question. If there is no 'point' to counting days, why did you count your 320+ days previous to this?

Paulos, whatever works for you is just fine with me. I sincerely wish you well.
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Old 05-13-2009, 03:01 PM
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Because I was blinded by fear and the past, that's why "Rowan".
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Old 05-13-2009, 03:05 PM
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Sounds like you have a way that works for you, a lot of us have found a way that works for us and that does include continuous sobriety, it's kinda the beauty of how different we are, and thank goodness there isn't only one way.

I don't count my days. But I know I've been sober every single day and night since December 18, 2008, and that is the part that is important to me.
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Old 05-13-2009, 03:15 PM
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I couldn't work your way Paulos - I don't count days either, but I do value continous sobriety. Your way would probably kill me.

Luckily we're all different. I wish you well with it.

D
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Old 05-13-2009, 03:22 PM
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Hi Paulos. I am glad your relapse reminded you of why you aren't drinking anymore. I think that happens with some, but more times then not I see a huge struggle from those that have relapsed and fight and fight to regain the "control" once again. I feel if I was to pick up a drink again I would be doing a dance with the devil so to speak. Almost like daring the old life to make another grand entrance and I tell you that would scare the living crud out of me. I can't go back to that life and so therefore I am content on being sober and re-reading my posts to remind me of where I once was. I do count days when they get to a certain anniversary and you can bet each year I'm still sober I will recognize it one way or the other. It beats the alternative for me.

I am glad you weren't tempted to remain in the relapse and that you are back to being sober again. I also am glad you took the time to post this thread. It has been very interesting to read your point of view on this.
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Old 05-13-2009, 03:42 PM
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Paulos, If you want to drink, go ahead. But drinking to remind yourself why you're sober is sort of an oxymoron. I personally don't count the days. I didn't drink today and that's all that matters. And tomorrow's another day.
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Old 05-13-2009, 04:08 PM
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thanks for that share paulos and I really hope you start coming back to the chatroom and the forums more often.

As for the topic of counting days, not my thing either. Prisoners count days. I do however know my sobriety date and that is of importance to me.

**note** I mean no offense to anybody that does count days, if it works for you thats great! I am 100% for any method that keeps any person sober.
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Old 05-13-2009, 04:17 PM
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It's the quality of recovery as well as the quantity, I'll agree with you there.

I just hope that you weren't doing this in order to prove something to others as well as yourself. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but that's what I'm reading here. I know about the troubles with the chat room and am wondering if this may have been an attempt to take back some control of the situation.

I just hope for your sake that now you can put this behind you and it's a one off episode which doesn't become a pattern, which you know is just likely to escalate. You're the one who will hurt from that.
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Old 05-13-2009, 04:59 PM
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I've learned that insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.

I hope everyone here stays clean & sober just for today.

I'll have the same hope tomorrow.
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Old 05-13-2009, 05:33 PM
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I don't get it, sorry Paulos. If a heroin addict was clean for a year then decided to shoot up again would that make sense? Not to me it doesn't. I don't count days, I don't go to AA (but I respect it and the people that do) but I do know that my life began on Sept 1. 2007 and I'm proud to say I'm nearing 2 yrs! I suspect I will always look at my life as before and after that date. I don't need to drink to remind me why I'm sober I just have to look in the mirror.
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Old 05-13-2009, 08:51 PM
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I have been sober almost 11 months. I don't count every day, but I do celebrate every moment.

You gotta do, what you gotta do, Paulos. You've been around here long enough to know what you want and need....regardless of what happens around you.

I do wish you the very best.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:43 AM
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Paulos,
In my opinion you were just testing the waters to see if you could be a normal drinker again. Don't fool yourself my friend or you will fall back into the pits of hell. You are playing with fire.
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Old 05-14-2009, 04:32 PM
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Paulos..

I won't argue with you...you threw up the smiley "Attack the Argument, Not the Person"

and it seems you have made your point concerning not considering your drinking

being a relapse. But you did knock AA, and you did offend me. You can choose

what you wish to believe about your own recovery, and I wish you the very best...

as I always have...but do not bash my program or call me or my fellows insane.

It seems you are protesting too much?

Instead of knocking (my way)..please find a way that truly works for you.

No, you haven't lost the recovery you had..but you drank. I am glad you admitted it

here. But putting your hand back onto the burner just to prove you could is a little

"insane,"..isn't it?

Be careful! Don't go back there..

I care, Paulos.

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Old 05-14-2009, 06:27 PM
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Your relapse ended when you picked up the drink.
I've watched you flounder around here for the last year. You've had periods of time where you appear to be making progress, but mostly you just wallow in self pity. Victims do not get better. You got a resentment and used it as an excuse to drink. That's the truth.

I support whatever mechanism will get you sober and change your attitude, I am happy to discuss this via pm with you if you would like. I know about your condition, and I know how to get sober and stay sober.

For all of you that feel this is tough love, I offer this, many of you have been loving him to death for the last year and yet he drank. Sometimes support takes the form of a blunt wake up call, if this offends you put me on your ignore list or column one.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Rob B View Post
Sometimes support takes the form of a blunt..

hrmmmmm ?? so what are you trying to say rob?








Originally Posted by Rob B View Post
wake up call
ah carry on.
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Old 05-14-2009, 07:07 PM
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I wonder how you'll feel about this decision a month from now.
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Old 05-15-2009, 06:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Rob B View Post
... many of you have been loving him to death for the last year and yet he drank.
I said this exact same thing to a friend of mine that has been in and out of AA for the last couple of years. Comes back in to the rooms, everyone gathers around with the hugs and support, nobody offers a solution. I just told him, 'don't let these people love you death.' These people are well intentioned, and do express love in their own way. But phrases like 'keep coming back' and 'just don't drink today' will not keep an alcoholic sober. What is needed is a solution born out of success with staying sober.
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Old 05-15-2009, 06:34 AM
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Drinking to remind yourself of why you quit drinking may be a part of your Rationalization Recovery program, but it wouldn't work for me. I don't need to keep touching the stove to know that it's still hot and that I still don't like getting burned.
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Old 05-15-2009, 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Rob B View Post
Your relapse ended when you picked up the drink.
I've watched you flounder around here for the last year. You've had periods of time where you appear to be making progress, but mostly you just wallow in self pity. Victims do not get better. You got a resentment and used it as an excuse to drink. That's the truth.

I support whatever mechanism will get you sober and change your attitude, I am happy to discuss this via pm with you if you would like. I know about your condition, and I know how to get sober and stay sober.

For all of you that feel this is tough love, I offer this, many of you have been loving him to death for the last year and yet he drank. Sometimes support takes the form of a blunt wake up call, if this offends you put me on your ignore list or column one.
Ditto ditto ditto.... Thank you Rob
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