A year ago today .................
Sober since 9th May 2008
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
A year ago today .................
A year ago today I found a forum called SR, to be more specific I found an actual thread called " the 2 weeks and under " thread, it had been started by a person called Negative Man.
I was in a mess, it was a friday and not for the first time that month I was off work sick as a result of alcohol. I'd been drinking pretty much all of the last month and couldn't function without a half bottle of vodka in my stomach. The trouble was that even the drink was only making me feel better for shorter and shorter periods. I'd been to the doctor that morning in order to cover myself with work and I'd asked her for some diazepam to help me with stress, I never mentioned my drinking to her.
The tablets helped me with my withdrawel symptoms that day and I read through this thread full of other people all trying to stop drinking as well.
I never joined SR that day but I did save the thread to my favourites, don't think I even realised that day what a forum was or that there were other threads to be looked at.
The next day though after a sleepless night I was here again and this time I did join and made my first post, never said much, just a couple of lines and was pleased when a fellow member in that 2 weeks thread called ROFL welcomed me. Over the next couple of weeks I became good friends with ROFL and joined her and Negative Man in moving on to the 30 days and under thread.
Sadly neither ROFL and Negative man are with us on SR anymore but they were both a big part of my early recovery on here and I hope they are well wherever they are and whatever they are doing now.
It was in the 30 days and under thread that I became aware of another member who was in the 2 weeks and under thread and just a few days behind us, that person was Horselover and she will be celebrating a year sober as well in just a couple of days, TTOSBT joined about this time as well, and the two of them have been putting up with me ever since.
For those of you that don't know me, I only use SR as a means of support, I keep my drink problem and my recovery a total secret from everyone apart from here online under my Fizzy name.
I was always a secret drinker, half bottles of vodka hidden round the house, when I think of how much time I wasted locked in the ensuite swigging vodka.
Its not easy doing it on your own but I see the question come up regularly on here and I would say yes it is possible. I would never knock any form of recovery but if someone wants to do it alone I know it is possible, or at least I know its possible to stay sober for a year anyway, who knows what the future holds .........................
Its about how you use SR as well I reckon, although I'm known to mess about a bit on here and some folks might think different, I have total respect for the place, there are people on here that I would really feel I had let down if I was just to go back out there drinking again.
So reflecting back, how much better is my life now, I've not been off work once ill in the last year, I don't let my family down by promising to do things and then either forgetting I'd said I'd do it or being too hungover to.
I don't have to drive with one eye in the rearview mirror looking out for Police, I don't shake at the first sign of adversity.
Most importantly though I have a future, a year ago I really didn't think I had many years left on this earth, I'm 37 and had resigned myself to the fact I didn't think I'd live to see 50.
Who knows how long we have here, but right now I quite happy that I'm not likely to be found in a heap surrounded by bottles.
I have 2 children aged 2 and 5, something that ROFL said to me in the first couple of weeks has stuck with me more than any other thing on here, she told me I was lucky as my children are young enough to never have to remember their dad being drunk as long as I got myself sorted out now.
So many people on here I should thank, apart from those already mentioned, Nands is a constant ................. a constant something anyway, Dee's always around, Least, fellow Scot RK was an inspiration in the first few months as was Steamvessel, all the moderators and the people that keep SR going, in fact I'm not going to try and list everyone because there's no way I can thank everyone and I'm bound to miss somebody.
Hopefully somebody on here reading this tonight will be just here and realise that sobriety is possible and not really that hard when you step back and look at it. Not going to pretend its easy but a year doesn't seem that long when you look back.
Take it a day at a time, work at it and you'll get there.
Biggest thing I'd say is not to drink, seems so much harder to recover from a relapse I think.
Anyway, enough of my ramblings, apologies for yet another self indulgent post, thanks for all the help and support over the year.
If you want it enough you can do this.
I was in a mess, it was a friday and not for the first time that month I was off work sick as a result of alcohol. I'd been drinking pretty much all of the last month and couldn't function without a half bottle of vodka in my stomach. The trouble was that even the drink was only making me feel better for shorter and shorter periods. I'd been to the doctor that morning in order to cover myself with work and I'd asked her for some diazepam to help me with stress, I never mentioned my drinking to her.
The tablets helped me with my withdrawel symptoms that day and I read through this thread full of other people all trying to stop drinking as well.
I never joined SR that day but I did save the thread to my favourites, don't think I even realised that day what a forum was or that there were other threads to be looked at.
The next day though after a sleepless night I was here again and this time I did join and made my first post, never said much, just a couple of lines and was pleased when a fellow member in that 2 weeks thread called ROFL welcomed me. Over the next couple of weeks I became good friends with ROFL and joined her and Negative Man in moving on to the 30 days and under thread.
Sadly neither ROFL and Negative man are with us on SR anymore but they were both a big part of my early recovery on here and I hope they are well wherever they are and whatever they are doing now.
It was in the 30 days and under thread that I became aware of another member who was in the 2 weeks and under thread and just a few days behind us, that person was Horselover and she will be celebrating a year sober as well in just a couple of days, TTOSBT joined about this time as well, and the two of them have been putting up with me ever since.
For those of you that don't know me, I only use SR as a means of support, I keep my drink problem and my recovery a total secret from everyone apart from here online under my Fizzy name.
I was always a secret drinker, half bottles of vodka hidden round the house, when I think of how much time I wasted locked in the ensuite swigging vodka.
Its not easy doing it on your own but I see the question come up regularly on here and I would say yes it is possible. I would never knock any form of recovery but if someone wants to do it alone I know it is possible, or at least I know its possible to stay sober for a year anyway, who knows what the future holds .........................
Its about how you use SR as well I reckon, although I'm known to mess about a bit on here and some folks might think different, I have total respect for the place, there are people on here that I would really feel I had let down if I was just to go back out there drinking again.
So reflecting back, how much better is my life now, I've not been off work once ill in the last year, I don't let my family down by promising to do things and then either forgetting I'd said I'd do it or being too hungover to.
I don't have to drive with one eye in the rearview mirror looking out for Police, I don't shake at the first sign of adversity.
Most importantly though I have a future, a year ago I really didn't think I had many years left on this earth, I'm 37 and had resigned myself to the fact I didn't think I'd live to see 50.
Who knows how long we have here, but right now I quite happy that I'm not likely to be found in a heap surrounded by bottles.
I have 2 children aged 2 and 5, something that ROFL said to me in the first couple of weeks has stuck with me more than any other thing on here, she told me I was lucky as my children are young enough to never have to remember their dad being drunk as long as I got myself sorted out now.
So many people on here I should thank, apart from those already mentioned, Nands is a constant ................. a constant something anyway, Dee's always around, Least, fellow Scot RK was an inspiration in the first few months as was Steamvessel, all the moderators and the people that keep SR going, in fact I'm not going to try and list everyone because there's no way I can thank everyone and I'm bound to miss somebody.
Hopefully somebody on here reading this tonight will be just here and realise that sobriety is possible and not really that hard when you step back and look at it. Not going to pretend its easy but a year doesn't seem that long when you look back.
Take it a day at a time, work at it and you'll get there.
Biggest thing I'd say is not to drink, seems so much harder to recover from a relapse I think.
Anyway, enough of my ramblings, apologies for yet another self indulgent post, thanks for all the help and support over the year.
If you want it enough you can do this.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: far away from the ocean
Posts: 376
Congratulations on your 1 year!!! 
Did you do anything else outside of SR (books, therapy, etc.)? I am not even 3 weeks sober and not sure at this point that I want to participate in any f2f organized activities.
Thanks for your story!
OB
Did you do anything else outside of SR (books, therapy, etc.)? I am not even 3 weeks sober and not sure at this point that I want to participate in any f2f organized activities.
Thanks for your story!
OB
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
That was a lovely compliment, and you've been appreciated here as well Fizzy. You always add alot & I can relate to everything you said, since I was in the same situation. Vodka, missing work, police paranoia....oh, what a way to live. Thankfully, it took you many years less than me to work it out. Congratulations friend.
Sober since 9th May 2008
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
Originally Posted by OceanBound 
Did you do anything else outside of SR (books, therapy, etc.)? I am not even 3 weeks sober and not sure at this point that I want to participate in any f2f organized activities.
You could use it as a means of making this your time though, I've always said I would be willing to try AA or similar if I felt I needed to, as long as I'm staying sober though I don't have to.
Use it as a motivation.
Once your past the physical stuff the actual act of not drinking isn't hard, its how you get there in your head that makes it difficult.
Yes I read a few books, get all the info you can, I often found the sheer bloody mindedness worked well, the I'm just not going to drink whatever happens approach.
Alan Carr's Easyway to control Alcohol made a lot of sense to me.
My previous attempts to stop always fell away after a few days or so but this time was different somehow.
I know you probably don't believe it right now but things really do get easier over time.
Good luck
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Great post!
I, too, have SO much respect for SR and the amazing people who share on these boards. I came here many years ago, and yes, people do come and go, and sometimes it's really hard to lose touch with someone you cared for. But, with some perspective, you can see that we are all on this road together. We may be at different places, but we are all travelling together.
Congratulations, Fizzy!
I, too, have SO much respect for SR and the amazing people who share on these boards. I came here many years ago, and yes, people do come and go, and sometimes it's really hard to lose touch with someone you cared for. But, with some perspective, you can see that we are all on this road together. We may be at different places, but we are all travelling together.
Congratulations, Fizzy!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: SE Asia
Posts: 18
Hi Fizzy, I can tell by your turn-o-phrase that you are a fellow Brit!
It's truly lovely to hear your story, and I thank you for it. We need more people to be in your situation saying what you're saying. By the sounds of it - you're very appreciated here.
I can't wait til I can post my "1 year" post.
Thanks fizz, you're an inspiration
It's truly lovely to hear your story, and I thank you for it. We need more people to be in your situation saying what you're saying. By the sounds of it - you're very appreciated here.
I can't wait til I can post my "1 year" post.
Thanks fizz, you're an inspiration
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 542
Hello Fizzy...
:day1 "Happy Birthday" and Congratulations!!!! On your 1 Year of Sobriety! That is a wonderful accomplishment and well done to you! Enjoy your Birthday and Many many more!
Pancake xo
:day1 "Happy Birthday" and Congratulations!!!! On your 1 Year of Sobriety! That is a wonderful accomplishment and well done to you! Enjoy your Birthday and Many many more!
Pancake xo
Sober since 9th May 2008
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2,973
Originally Posted by Padoink
I can't wait til I can post my "1 year" post.
Don't know how long you've been sober but don't waste your time looking to some day in the future, every day sober is another one to be enjoyed.
I don't feel any different now I've a years sobriety then I did before, just another morning of waking up fresh and well slept with no hangover.
I used to worry, what would people think of me not drinking ?
I now just regard myself as no different from anyone else, just I choose not to drink alcohol.
Some people don't eat cheese and onion crisps, my wife doesn't like marmite ( strange I know ), my dad doesn't eat prawns and seafood type stuff.
I after many years of the wrong choices, I now don't drink alcohol, the world hasn't stopped, and apart from in my mind in the early days, nobody else really cares.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: England
Posts: 1,981
Fizzy :ghug3 (I know how much you love hugs 
)
What can I say? I think you have done so well and feel lucky to have witnessed your journey over this last year. Your straight talking has helped me in so many ways, not to mention your dry sense of humor
I heard from Negman a couple of weeks ago. Even though he's not posting he's still around from time to time.
Well done my friend, keep doing what you are doing, it's clearly working!
)What can I say? I think you have done so well and feel lucky to have witnessed your journey over this last year. Your straight talking has helped me in so many ways, not to mention your dry sense of humor
I heard from Negman a couple of weeks ago. Even though he's not posting he's still around from time to time.
Well done my friend, keep doing what you are doing, it's clearly working!
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