katie89

My ex AH doesn't understand anything I say.He wants to know why the kids do not want to see him.I have told him many times that it is because of how he treated them when he lived here and never bothered to even go for a walk with them.Plus you are high most of the time and they would rather speak to a father who is not high.I haven't made him pay anything for child support yet because I had been hoping he would go to get help for his addiction and didn't want to start all the legal stuff.Now it has been five months and he called me and told me that I am the reason why his children ( 24,20,16,14 )do not want to see him.So I told him Again that if he starts to look at the problems he is having with his drugs takes it seriously they would see him.Once he starts to look at his drug problem and at least put some effort into quitting it I would have tried to talk his daughters into seeing him.They all have such bad memories of how he acted and treated them.I am starting to realize how badly he affected me too,but the looking over my shoulder is starting to leave off and on.Why does he not understand me? Quit your drugs and the kids will possibly see you differently..:wtf2

joedris

He understands you. He understands you perfectly. He just doesn't want to accept the consequences of his actions. And he's probably in denial over his addiction. It's easier to blame you than himself, so that's what he does. Don't hold your breath waiting for him to accept his addiction and seek treatment, he won't. Move on with your life and leave him to live the life he's carved out for himself.

Kablume

It's like talking to a brick wall. The only thing my ex understood was his drugs and getting high. He didn't care about the kids and what was happening to them.

So save yourself some trouble and wait until he is sober to even try to initiate a conversation. Even then will take time.

I know its difficult with kids. Best of everything to you.

sailorjohn

Like I've read, trying to have a conversation with an active A is like trying to have a conversation with someone that mentally ill, check that, it is precisely like having a conversation with someone that's mentally ill.

There is nothing wrong with saying, I'm not having this conversation, and simply hanging up.

Angelic17

Katie, He understands NOTHING you say, because you are probably speaking to his drug of choice, and not to him. There is no reasoning or getting through to an addict in active addiction. It's like talking to a wall.