JJB

Has anyone here tried or managed the steps without AA meetings? is it a possible option?
It's not that I'm against going it's just not practical for me as where I live the nearest is more than 15 miles away and only once a week. (with one open meeting included in each month )

Anna

Hi,

I'm not an AA person and my opinion is that the steps are a guide. I had been in recovery for a couple of years when I closely examined the steps. I realized that I had informally gone through the process on my own.

I think you can recover any way you choose, if you are totally motivated to recover.

Sweets79

JJB, my friend ...I tried looking up some meetings in my area, but the site hadn't been updated since 08...You know I have my appt. with a therapist on Friday, I will see how that goes, and I figure I can always get some info about AA there...one step at a time for me now, or my mind goes into overload.

Rad44

AA is certainly the gold standard when it comes to recovery. However I am in a non-12 step program now that is working well for me.

yukonm

Have you considered online meetings? They helped me a great deal when circumstances prevented me from getting to face-to-face meetings and I met people in recovery from all over the world.

NoelleR

If what you're asking is if a person could work AA's 12 steps without going to AA meetings, or having an AA sponsor....etc., the answer is.....: OF COURSE....YES....!

When AA's Big Book (BB) was written, the reason that it was written was so that folks all over could see how they (the founders, and about 100 folks all together) got sober, and a person could follow their suggestions, and their examples (as in the BB), and those folks could get and stay sober too.... (o: I've always found the BB to be like.....: step-study meetings, general discussion meetings, and speaker meetings......all wrapped up in a book.

Of course, it's easier with folks around, but if that's not possible, it certainly can be done with only the BB............... (o:


NoelleR

keithj

I suppose it's possible, but I haven't done it. Even after multiple trips through the steps, I get a lot of benefit from a face to face sponsor. One of my most entrenched traits when I got sober was my inability to be honest with myself. I couldn't see the truth even when I wanted to. And I could justify everything. There is some magic to sitting down face to face discussing the Big Book with another alcoholic.

Maybe you need to figure out if you are looking for an easier softer way. It really comes down to a sincere desire to work the program. Can you take directions? Can you be honest? Are you willing to do whatever it takes? Is this a sincere question or is it a half measure? Half measures did not get me half recovery. It got me drunk. With that in mind, driving 15 miles is certainly worth your life.

But, there are probably a number of people on this site that would be willing to show you precisely how they recovered through the 12 steps. I would if you're sincerely interested.

JJB

Thanks for all those responses-yes I would be interested in online meetings. How do I do that? I asked in the chat room and someone thought it was probably at 3 in the morning at my time (mainland Europe) but wasn't sure. Could someone confirm as if I'm going to get up in the middle of the night I'd like to be sure of the exact time and day.
My hubby will think i've gone completely loopy getting up at 3a.m; to switch on the computer but I guess he's getting used to my eccentricities!!
I might go to the distant one too i'm just trying to investigate all options.

Tazman53

JJB there are online meetings 24 hours a day, google AA in Europe, I can assure you that you will easily find online english speaking AA meetings that are kind of local to you that you will not need to get up at 3 AM to participate in.

There is an awesome huge AA fellowship in the UK which I am sure has many online meetings.

In regards to the steps without meetings.... yes it can be done, it has been done.

I will be the first to admit that I, like Keith was incapable of being honest enough with myself to have taken them alone.

There are people who have worked with a sponsor via snail mail, email, and online chat that have taken the steps with greater success, I may have been capable of doing it that way, but the steps for me were made far easier when I took them with another man as a sponsor that had years of sobriety and had worked the steps with his sponsor several times during those years.

Oh yea & one thing I have noticed is there are some fine examples of good solid sobriety here on this site that all though they are not in AA, nor have they formally taken the 12 steps walk and talk just as though they have. AA as it says right in the BB does not have the sobriety market cornered, but what we do have is a fellowship with a combined source of thousands of years of experience in sobriety with thousands of people who have over 20 years of sobriety to draw upon for experience, strength and hope.

JJB

Thanks Tazman
I have done as you suggested and have applied for joining an online aa meeting
I'm also ordering the Big book from amazon. Strangely enough of all the books I've read on giving up drinking I've never read the BB.
Thanks again for everyone's advice and support

serenityqueen

I realize that when the BB was written, there weren't really any Meetings like there are today, but I have to agree with keithj, I needed that f2f calling me on my sh*t and guidance to work the Steps to where I got what I needed to get. I couldn't/wouldn't face the truth, I minimized, I blamed others, every form of denial imaginable. If I hadn't worked with a fantastic sponsor who was tough as nails on me, I have no doubt in my mind I would be dead today. The truth was very hard for this Alcoholic/Addict for face.

To be honest, I think the 15 mile drive is an excuse. The first 10 months of my Recovery, I was in an IOP Program. I don't drive, I take the bus. I took 2 buses to IOP then got off the bus and walked 9/10 of a mile with my disabilities in the heat of the summer and the bitter cold of winter in a foot of snow. I also took buses to Meetings. I was willing to go to any length in order to stay Sober just one more day.

And I agree with Taz about there being some very good, solid Recovery here on SR, people who have and haven't used the Steps and AA. Due to my medical conditions, there have been many times when I have been physically unable to get to a Meeting so I get what I need here on SR. I get something from someone who is struggling through their first hours to the person who just celebrated 30 years in Recovery through AA.

God Bless,
Judy

Tommyh

I tryed it once
it convinced me I need the steps and other AA people in my life,God with skin on in other words....

sfgirl

I definitely feel like you can do it. I agree with Anna. I sort of found that my recovery ended up mimicking the steps without ever aiming to do that which is ultimately why AA is beginning to be appealing to me even though I have rarely attended. I got a lot of benefit from reading about recovery and found a lot of step literature to be helpful. I am not big on the actual AA literature (although all of it is free online), sometimes the language can be off-putting especially in the beginning, and I think especially for women. But there are a couple of books and workbooks that are geared towards women and sort of translate the 12 steps. When I was still rigid in early sobriety it made me be more open to the process. Just look up on Amazon Stephanie Covington and Stephanie Brown PhD.

CrackQuack

For some people, it's hard and just not feasible to get to meetings 15 miles away. I know my recovery would most likely be strictly online if meetings were that far away. I'd order my books online, etc. I just don't have the gas money to get there. And, if people there, are like the ones here, will say they will help you in recovery and offer rides and then not come through, well..... Once a week doesn't seem that bad but when my vehicle gets only 10 miles to the gallon and I have to get to work too, and make less than 100 bucks a week. I have to watch my money (funny to say that when I am a crackhead, LOL). I cannot live off of mom and I won't live off the government, because I, personally, do not believe in it. Yeah, for me, it's a matter of pride..
Anyway, when there are many great substitutes out there, like online meetings, why not try it. See if it works for you. If not, well.. You learn.
Try to make some of the face to face meetings if you can, though. Even though online meetings are great, and work, face to face really just brings something home. Seeing other people in recovery just gives hope. A little peace and serenity too. I don't make more than one or two meetings a week, myself. But mine are much closer and easier to get to.
People might think that you're not giving it your 100%. Some might tell you that you have to give 110% (mathematically impossible). Make sure, in your heart, that you are giving it your all and not looking for an easier path. If you can honestly say it's because of something else and you're not looking for the easier way, then go for it. If you are looking for an easier way, it won't work.
But I am sure it has worked for many people. I have 94 days crack free. It's working for me. I go to a few meetings, go to SR, am getting back into doing my step work now that I have new books (thanks to a very special new friend I've just made), and doing what I need to do in order to stay clean.
Our journeys can all be very different. There will be many trial and error things. While we are still playing with our lives in early recovery, it's the only way to learn. If we make it out alive, clean, sober, and working on improving ourselves, it will be a great victory against the battle of addiction.
All those things said and written in meetings/books, are suggestions. People may say you HAVE to do something. I honestly think that you should do what is right for YOU. There is no one, concrete, solid, way. Let your HP guide you to do what is right and what will change your life and make it more manageable.
I know I'd be stressing if I had to go to daily meetings and they were so far away. A weekly one.. I am not in that position, but if I were, I might stress that too, depending on what time it is, where it is.. All that.. Stress is a huge trigger. Take it easy on yourself. Go to a few of them. See how you like them and if you can handle it.
But I, too, am only making suggestions. Take it how you like, but whatever you do, don't use.

flutter

Ditto!

tommyk

I say give it a shot and let us know how it works for you.

joedris

You could probably go through the steps by yourself, but you won't get nearly as much benefit as you would if you go through them with someone who's in AA. There's a lot of stuff involved in the steps which isn't obvious by reading them. There are groups whose sole purpose is studying the 12 steps. Choice is yours, but I don't recommend doing it alone.

1_day@_a_time

A principle of life:

Self does not reveal self to self, without an outside force.

This explains why a professional athlete has a coach.

I tried it on my own in early recovery & received little to no benefit.

I've tried it with a sponsor & now have empirical proof it completely changed my life.

So, my answer is no.

1_day@_a_time

JJB, you around? wondering how you are.......

WLDKATZ

today is day 701 for me....and yes I did it without AA I have agoraphobia( wide open places so I dont leave home) for me it was support of close friends on here and in rt my hubby who gave me his full support as well as family.......I will be 2 years clean of drugs on the 11th of june and this friday I will be 18 years clean of booze..............it CAN be done without meetings but that is just me personally!



Good luck!
Pamm