Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: England
Posts: 23
Hi
Hi, I'm new and about to attempt a step toward sobriety. I have drunk constantly but not overly excessively for well into 20 years. For the past 3 years it has been daily and far too much, never to the point of black out but enough for me not to be able to remember some of the things I have said and done. I need to stop but I've tried and can manage a couple of weeks but then an occasion comes up or some event arises that I can't control and off I go again. One is never enough, it leads to 'well, just another, then I'll stop' then I can't and there I am again in that black place where I hate myself for being hopeless, God I sound self pitying and I'm really not - honest! I am truly terrified. Terrified I can't do it, terrified I've done too much damage to myself and that it's pointless and just terrified of failing. So here I am. Hoping for help. I've been lurking for a while but tonight I got the courage to post and tomorrow I hope I'm going to try again.....so hi, I'm Amanda good to be here,
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Welcome to the family, Amanda. I lurked for awhile too, and didn't actually stop drinking for a few months after joining. Something about the attitude of this group finally reached me - I could be myself and everyone understood - that was so comforting. I didn't have anyone else in my life I could discuss it with.
My drinking path was like yours - what was once fun and relaxing became an everyday habit. No longer just for special occasions, I found I couldn't get through anything without my anesthesia. I went on from where you are now - to ruined relationships, 3 DUI's, financial chaos that I'm still digging out from - and health problems caused by poisoning myself all those years. This does not have to be you! We are so glad you're here, and will be glad to help in any way we can.
My drinking path was like yours - what was once fun and relaxing became an everyday habit. No longer just for special occasions, I found I couldn't get through anything without my anesthesia. I went on from where you are now - to ruined relationships, 3 DUI's, financial chaos that I'm still digging out from - and health problems caused by poisoning myself all those years. This does not have to be you! We are so glad you're here, and will be glad to help in any way we can.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Originally Posted by claryhen 
For the past 3 years it has been daily and far too much, never to the point of black out but enough for me not to be able to remember some of the things I have said and done. ,
I drank like you.. for far too long. I wanted to wish you luck. It is scary, it's hard, but it's SO worth it.. stick around here, get the support you need, outside of here. Once you reach the point to where you want your sobriety more than another drunken night.. it's truly enlightening, but sometimes it takes a bit of fear and resistance to get there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: England
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by flutter
Hun, that's pretty much what a black out is
I drank like you.. for far too long. I wanted to wish you luck. It is scary, it's hard, but it's SO worth it.. stick around here, get the support you need, outside of here. Once you reach the point to where you want your sobriety more than another drunken night.. it's truly enlightening, but sometimes it takes a bit of fear and resistance to get there.
I drank like you.. for far too long. I wanted to wish you luck. It is scary, it's hard, but it's SO worth it.. stick around here, get the support you need, outside of here. Once you reach the point to where you want your sobriety more than another drunken night.. it's truly enlightening, but sometimes it takes a bit of fear and resistance to get there.
Edited due to missing m in I'm
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: England
Posts: 23
One of my major problems is that my mum (an alcoholic) lives with me due to ill health and she always has a bottle of something on the go. I can't put her in a home and she won't stop drinking but when she asks me to pour her one it's really hard some days not to take a sip 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Hi Amanda and welcome. I would suggest that for your next act that you join AA. It will help you immensly. This is a fantastic web site where everyone will bend over backwards for you, but you really need the up close and personal that you can get in AA. There's nothing like it. I know the problem you're having with your Mum and can only advise you to do the best you can. It will get easier to resist a sip as time goes on. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. We're all rooting for you.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Welcome to SR, Amanda This is a great place, you'll receive a lot of support. Congratulations for reaching out, by doing so, imho, you may have overcome your fear of failure - I think that failure is when we try to fool ourselves by ignoring our problems and feelings.
Hope to hear more from you soon
This is a great place, you'll receive a lot of support. Congratulations for reaching out, by doing so, imho, you may have overcome your fear of failure - I think that failure is when we try to fool ourselves by ignoring our problems and feelings. Hope to hear more from you soon
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Welcome and keep coming back Amanda.
If you go to AA meetings, you are sure to find the help you need to stay clean and sober one day at a time. You may even wind up getting a sponsor who can guide you through the Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions so you can be restored spiritually, mentally, and physicaly. At some point, you may even decide to chose a Homegroup where you can be of service to the next alcoholic who walks in the door. i encourage you to get hold of a little book called Living Sober. This is available at most AA meetings.
If you go to AA meetings, you are sure to find the help you need to stay clean and sober one day at a time. You may even wind up getting a sponsor who can guide you through the Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions so you can be restored spiritually, mentally, and physicaly. At some point, you may even decide to chose a Homegroup where you can be of service to the next alcoholic who walks in the door. i encourage you to get hold of a little book called Living Sober. This is available at most AA meetings.
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