Sweets79

For some reason today I desire a drink unbelievably...all these raw emotions are hitting me...and I can't numb them anymore the only way I know how (alcohol)...I was driving before because I had some errands to run and I almost came home...I had all these emotions running through me, mostly anger and frustration...I didn't feel safe driving, I felt like I was getting overwhelmed...I had that feeling like you know when you just feel like you're gonna explode...I think when I feel like that it's best to put off what I have to do until I try to relax/calm down...I am so used to having a drink to numb/calm the pain to deal with these unpleasant feelings that have been going on for years and it seemed almost impossible for me to do what I had to do today...The DR. had prescribed me Xanax awhile ago because I also have anxiety.....I never got addicted to it, I personally don't care for it...It just takes the edge off slightly so I can try to relax..I took one before just to take the edge off...but, man, this is hard ...... I think I might need some meds to take to stay calmer, not sure which ones...I def can't function day to day with all this frustration/depression...I guess I will see what they think Friday at my appt. Some days are gonna be rougher than others...Thanks again for everything :ghug2

jamdls

"Some days are gonna be rougher than others" You got that right, just remind yourself to breathe and remember that this too shall pass. Learning to deal with life and all the things that we drank or drugged to forget is the often the toughest to overcome, it was for me. I carried around so much pain/anger/anxiety/depression for 35 yrs and when I stopped drinking all that stuff hit me like a ton of bricks, but it didn't kill me. Sober I was able to let go of at least 95% of all that cr*p I was carrying, it didn't happen overnight but gradually withing the first 12-18 months. and it was soooooooooooo worth it. Hang in there Sweets, the results are well worth the struggle.

Judy

lunarise

Im sorry you are having a rough day. I too have had to deal with some anxiety and feeling overwhelmed since getting sober. I also have meds to help. The best thing to do in my opinion is to reliably do some form of relaxation everyday. be it yoga, meditation, imagery whatever.... It certainly is helping me.

HUGE :ghug3

adore79

There might be anti anxiety drugs that are non habit forming. I take ativan, which I would abuse if alone so my mom dispenses them to me. Good luck!

Sweets79

Yes exactly...definitely not a good feeling, I got so overwhelmed by it today...Thanks Judy

Sweets79

:ghug3 Thank you, I could definitely use that
:ghug3

joedris

Sweets my friend, I've been meaning to ask you if you were in AA. Somehow I just assumed that you were. If you're not, I most strongly recommend that you go to some meetings. You'll find a lot of help and advice from folks who have been through what you're going through now. SR is a great web site, but you need face to face time and phone numbers to call when you have days like today. I just got off the phone with one of my sponsees who's having a rough day. After a lengthy talk he lost all desire to go out and drink. So having someone to talk to can be a big help.

Sweets79

I actually made a post about contacting an addiction specialist this morning...I have an appointment Friday...I am starting out with that...The website I had looked at to find out about AA meetings near me hasn't been updated in awhile...I know there's a number I can call to find out when and where they are...I just can't bombard myself with too many things right now...my mind is still all over the place...if I try to do too many things at once I go into overload lol...I'm going to see how everything goes on Friday...They should have some info on AA meetings there aswell.

golightly1963

I don't know if this will help - but when you are in your car no one can hear you. Scream as loud as you possibly can - til you think you are gonna go hoarse! I do this when my anxiety hits me and you cannot believe what a stress reducer it is - you actually start laughing! Be careful with the anxiety meds...I've been on Effexor for 10 years mostly because it is pure hell to stop taking! I have to take it every day (24 hours) and if it's 36 hours I know it!! (forget to take - and I'm on a low dose!) I get dizzy spells and headaches - it takes four weeks to get off it - so don't let them prescribe that - there are too many other anti-anxiety meds out there without these side effects

Sweets79

Yes I am very weary of meds...I had a bad experience with a few anti-depressants, and I am prone to severe depression, and I do have anxiety... so I kind of feel damned if I do, damned if I don't...Drinking was my poison of choice because it eased the depression for the time being and it didn't have the horrible side effects of the anti-depressants I had been on...(ofcourse when it wore off, it came back full force). The only real side effect I got was a hangover maybe a lil shaky, some muscle spasms , dizziness (and that was after ALOT of alcohol) and even that I figured I could control, because I knew my medium, just how much to drink to not get sick...I didn't realize how much damage I was doing in the long run, just needed a fix for that day...Thanks for the advice