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Where the h*ll is my bottom?

Old 05-04-2009, 11:01 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Where's you're bottom. You're on it, just don't know it yet.

It's my belief that folks hit bottom long before they know it. I know this was true for me.

It's not so much that one can get any lower. It's that the consequences of being on the bottom that can make recognizing it easier. I was on the bottom, consequence free, for a long time before I figured it out.
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Old 05-04-2009, 12:21 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I don't think it's necessary to find a "bottom" to get and stay sober. Unfortunately some 'bottom's aren't recoverable from, and I hope you find your strength in something very soon.
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Old 05-04-2009, 02:54 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Jayne, You reached your bottom a long time ago and kept on digging. You need help beyond the scope of SR. I don't know what your financial/insurance situation is, but you should really get into a detox program followed by a rehabilitation program. At the very least, get to an AA meeting. You'll find a lot of folks who've been where you are and are more than willing to help.

Are you selfish? Are you thoughtless. No, you're an alcoholic. And you're not responsible for being an alcoholic, but you are responsible for your actions.

You need to stop the pity party, Pity and resentment are our biggest enemies. "Am I that
selfish? I don't deserve anyone who cares about me" That, my friend is pity. You should thank God that there are still people who do care about you. "I hate myself. Hate" is a good example of resentment.

Life is full of choices. You need to start making the right ones. Go to AA. Go anywhere that can give you help. This is not a battle you can fight alone. I'm happy for you that you've made it to day 3 and will pray that you make it to 4, 5, etc. Take it one day at a time. Like Flutter, I hope you find your strength very soon. Time is running out. You can do it, kid, as we all have done it before you.
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Old 05-04-2009, 03:21 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Under the bottom always second deeper bottom and ...
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Old 05-04-2009, 03:34 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Dont beat yourself too hard jayne....you have the desire to remain sober....some dont get that back.........and your sober.

for me....rock bottom was a state of mind.........it wasnt about where id been or who was getting hurt..or how many times id sobered up and drank again.

When i walked into an AA meeting last time i stopped........i knew
i felt.......hollow...completely empty inside.....mentally and emotionally smashed.......

To be honest suicide became a real option in my mind....which was pretty unstable.

it wasnt outside "stuff" that finish me..............it was my own mind.
by that i mean......living on the streets and begging didnt finish my drinking.
nor any other scrape that i was getting into.

i guess i just coulnt do it anymore.........i held my hands up and surrendered..

The last time i walked into AA.........i wanted help.....not needed help.

Some old timers were glad that i was prepared to listen........and explained what was wrong with me...........by that i mean why i kept picking up the bottle.......they told me about the insanity of the first drink.

they suggested i was powerless and suggested where i might find that power.

i hope this may make sense to you....because i find it very difficult to put those "feelings" into words.

maybe youve reached your bottom..........i prefer "the jumping off point"...

alcoholism is pretty rock bottom in itself........dont you think.

for me...and only me........i believe someone "took" the fight out of me..because he was upset watching me destroy myself and others.

its only my experience but if it helps great.....................trucker
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Old 05-04-2009, 06:53 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone and thank you for all your responses. I read and took each one to heart. I didn't mean to imply that I want to find my bottom per se - or keep looking - but rather the idea that "shouldn't this be it?" or previous episodes. I think that may have been misunderstood - I just meant it as a figure of speech. Of course I want to stop now. That's why I am here. I am working with my GP, a psychiatrist and an addictions counsellor for those that have asked. I know I cannot do this alone. Thanks equally for the words of encouragement and the tough love. I will keep trying.

Jayne
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Old 05-04-2009, 07:06 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I didn't read your post that way necessarily Jayne. But I think that sometimes we can subconsciously be waiting to hit 'bottom', which is not not really a healthy way to go. Glad to hear you are taking steps in getting some support. I myself use a range of things. Good luck.
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