Confused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 4
Confused
Hello All,
I'm a little confused on what's going on with me. The bottom line is everything seems to revolve around beer. This may be a little long winded, but nobody seems to listen. I'm 33 and I've been drinking since I was 16. Not all the time but that's my first drunk. I'm an extremely hard worker averaging 70 -95 hours per week, and I've been doing this for about 9 years. I've got a wife and two wonderful children (7 and the other is 10 months.) I've always drank quite a bit of beer, but the last 8 months or so I've been drinking about 4-7 a night. It helps when you can drink at your second job. In the past about once a year maybe two years I would get drunk and yell horrible things to my wife. I'm usually already upset she's out of town visiting her family...angry that I work so much to spend money on her traveling. She's asked me to stop drinking in the past and I have for a couple months each time until she gives me permission to drink again..never had to much trouble quitting before. About two months ago I finally got a day off and she headed out of town. I got angry, extremely drunk and said some pretty mean things I don't really mean. She told me I was quitting for good or she was leaving. I kept crying to her that I can be an occasional drinker and she gets upset that's all I'm talking about to her. I am out of town with work right now and alcohol is all around me. It doesn't bother me to see it, I'm not really craving it all the time. Everyday I call my wife and tell her I can be occasional drinker. She says great. She gave me permission to have a beer on my birthday. I did. I had one and didn't even think about another. It was just fun having dinner and one beer. I called her tonight to ask her if that gives me permission to have another beer occosionaly. We got in a fight. I told her all I do is dwell about being an occasional drinker until I make myself feel crazy. I am craving a drink a couple times a day, but not at times when I would normally drink. An occasional drinker to her is someone that might have a drink once a month or two. I can limit drinking to a beer or two every other night or so. She has given me this chance to prove it many times before, but I have not. With my job I cannot talk to a counselor or go to AA without risking losing it. I broke down tonight and told her maybe I couldn't quit all at once but I sure can cut down. That's not good enough for her. All day all that's going through my head is being that occasional drinker.....or do I have a serious problem that I need help with...but I can't talk to a counselor or go to AA because of my employment. I talked with my Dad who says it sounds like I'm under a lot of stress and doesn't sound like it should be that hard to quit...if you decide you can have a beer or two just don't tell the wife. I guess the bottom line is many people I normally drink with from work are here and they keep asking me why I've only had a couple beers with them the last couple weeks. What do I say so I don't risk my job? I have had some minor cravings, a ton of stress, but all I think about is drinking and convincing the wife it'll be okay to let me have a drink or two a couple times a week. I don't normally drink when I'm really stressed, but now it feels different. Am I an alcoholic? What do I do?
I'm a little confused on what's going on with me. The bottom line is everything seems to revolve around beer. This may be a little long winded, but nobody seems to listen. I'm 33 and I've been drinking since I was 16. Not all the time but that's my first drunk. I'm an extremely hard worker averaging 70 -95 hours per week, and I've been doing this for about 9 years. I've got a wife and two wonderful children (7 and the other is 10 months.) I've always drank quite a bit of beer, but the last 8 months or so I've been drinking about 4-7 a night. It helps when you can drink at your second job. In the past about once a year maybe two years I would get drunk and yell horrible things to my wife. I'm usually already upset she's out of town visiting her family...angry that I work so much to spend money on her traveling. She's asked me to stop drinking in the past and I have for a couple months each time until she gives me permission to drink again..never had to much trouble quitting before. About two months ago I finally got a day off and she headed out of town. I got angry, extremely drunk and said some pretty mean things I don't really mean. She told me I was quitting for good or she was leaving. I kept crying to her that I can be an occasional drinker and she gets upset that's all I'm talking about to her. I am out of town with work right now and alcohol is all around me. It doesn't bother me to see it, I'm not really craving it all the time. Everyday I call my wife and tell her I can be occasional drinker. She says great. She gave me permission to have a beer on my birthday. I did. I had one and didn't even think about another. It was just fun having dinner and one beer. I called her tonight to ask her if that gives me permission to have another beer occosionaly. We got in a fight. I told her all I do is dwell about being an occasional drinker until I make myself feel crazy. I am craving a drink a couple times a day, but not at times when I would normally drink. An occasional drinker to her is someone that might have a drink once a month or two. I can limit drinking to a beer or two every other night or so. She has given me this chance to prove it many times before, but I have not. With my job I cannot talk to a counselor or go to AA without risking losing it. I broke down tonight and told her maybe I couldn't quit all at once but I sure can cut down. That's not good enough for her. All day all that's going through my head is being that occasional drinker.....or do I have a serious problem that I need help with...but I can't talk to a counselor or go to AA because of my employment. I talked with my Dad who says it sounds like I'm under a lot of stress and doesn't sound like it should be that hard to quit...if you decide you can have a beer or two just don't tell the wife. I guess the bottom line is many people I normally drink with from work are here and they keep asking me why I've only had a couple beers with them the last couple weeks. What do I say so I don't risk my job? I have had some minor cravings, a ton of stress, but all I think about is drinking and convincing the wife it'll be okay to let me have a drink or two a couple times a week. I don't normally drink when I'm really stressed, but now it feels different. Am I an alcoholic? What do I do?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ozstrayleeya
Posts: 2,950
HI Candr and welcome to SR.This is my opinon only,so what you
make of it is up to you.Geez,you and your wife have a definate failure to communicate.I'd work on that situation first,because your drinking seems
related to work stress.Take her on a second honeymoon and see what
happens!!!!
Good luck. Oz...
make of it is up to you.Geez,you and your wife have a definate failure to communicate.I'd work on that situation first,because your drinking seems
related to work stress.Take her on a second honeymoon and see what
happens!!!!
Good luck. Oz...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Welcome Candr,
Why would your job be a risk if you went to AA? There is a condition of anonymity present at the meetings. AA can help you decide if you are an alcoholic or not. If you are alcoholic they can help you to stop drinking. Alcohol tends to make a terrible mess out of domestic situations.
Good Luck!
Why would your job be a risk if you went to AA? There is a condition of anonymity present at the meetings. AA can help you decide if you are an alcoholic or not. If you are alcoholic they can help you to stop drinking. Alcohol tends to make a terrible mess out of domestic situations.
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Hotel California
Posts: 175
Originally Posted by candr 
In the past about once a year maybe two years I would get drunk and yell horrible things to my wife.
She's asked me to stop drinking in the past and I have for a couple months each time until she gives me permission to drink again..never had to much trouble quitting before.
I got angry, extremely drunk and said some pretty mean things I don't really mean.
I can be an occasional drinker.... I am craving a drink a couple times a day, but not at times when I would normally drink.
She gave me permission to have a beer on my birthday. I did. I had one and didn't even think about another.
It was just fun having dinner and one beer. I called her tonight to ask her if that gives me permission to have another beer occosionaly. We got in a fight.
I told her all I do is dwell about being an occasional drinker until I make myself feel crazy.
An occasional drinker to her is someone that might have a drink once a month or two. I can limit drinking to a beer or two every other night or so.
She has given me this chance to prove it many times before, but I have not.
With my job I cannot talk to a counselor or go to AA without risking losing it.
....I can't talk to a counselor or go to AA because of my employment.
....What do I say so I don't risk my job?
I broke down tonight and told her maybe I couldn't quit all at once...
All day all that's going through my head is being that occasional drinker.....
or do I have a serious problem that I need help with...
....doesn't sound like it should be that hard to quit...if you decide you can have a beer or two just don't tell the wife.
....I have had some minor cravings, a ton of stress, but all I think about is drinking and convincing the wife it'll be okay to let me have a drink or two a couple times a week.
...What do I do?
She's asked me to stop drinking in the past and I have for a couple months each time until she gives me permission to drink again..never had to much trouble quitting before.
I got angry, extremely drunk and said some pretty mean things I don't really mean.
I can be an occasional drinker.... I am craving a drink a couple times a day, but not at times when I would normally drink.
She gave me permission to have a beer on my birthday. I did. I had one and didn't even think about another.
It was just fun having dinner and one beer. I called her tonight to ask her if that gives me permission to have another beer occosionaly. We got in a fight.
I told her all I do is dwell about being an occasional drinker until I make myself feel crazy.
An occasional drinker to her is someone that might have a drink once a month or two. I can limit drinking to a beer or two every other night or so.
She has given me this chance to prove it many times before, but I have not.
With my job I cannot talk to a counselor or go to AA without risking losing it.
....I can't talk to a counselor or go to AA because of my employment.
....What do I say so I don't risk my job?
I broke down tonight and told her maybe I couldn't quit all at once...
All day all that's going through my head is being that occasional drinker.....
or do I have a serious problem that I need help with...
....doesn't sound like it should be that hard to quit...if you decide you can have a beer or two just don't tell the wife.
....I have had some minor cravings, a ton of stress, but all I think about is drinking and convincing the wife it'll be okay to let me have a drink or two a couple times a week.
...What do I do?
Hello Candr,
Like OzBoy said, the following is just my "opinion" and may not mean anything to anyone but me. I am not qualified, nor is it my place to determine if you are an alcoholic or not. Only you can decide that.
Here is some Recovery Literature available online. It's from Narcotics Anonymous which doesn't focus on a specific substance such as alcohol. You can find AA Literature online as well which will focus on alcohol alone. Here's a quiz you might want to take: "Is A.A. For You?" and a pamphlet you might want to read "A Newcomer Asks". Here's another one of many more: "44 Questions"
For me, once the compulsion to drink was removed as a result of working the 12 Steps of A.A. with a sponsor, I found I had issues around compulsion and obsession.
You can be an occasional drinker yet you crave a drink several times a day? My take on that is maybe you can be an occasional drinker if it keeps your wife off your back.... otherwise you'll give in to those "cravings".
"I can limit drinking"... If you don't have a problem with alcohol, why would you need to limit your drinking? In my opinion, only problem drinkers and alcoholics need to "limit" their drinking.
"All I think about is drinking". "All day all that's going through my head is being that occasional drinker.....", "I told her all I do is dwell about being an occasional drinker until I make myself feel crazy." See a pattern here? Obsession... Obsession... Obsession.
"Convincing the wife"... If there haven't been any problems why would you need to convince her? Oh that's right, when intoxicated you've said mean things to the woman that you should treat with love and respect.
"A drink or two several times or every other night a week" "have another beer occasionally" Hmmm, sounds like your definition of "occasional" is "two or more drinks several times a week".
You were able to drink a single beer with dinner and now you want a "reward" which is another drink! If you don't bother to get permission from your wife you'll drink "a beer or two" and just don't tell her? Hiding things from the wife, eh? Seems like hiding things wouldn't be good for the relationship.
"...prove it many times before, but I have not.", "maybe I couldn't quit all at once", "never had to much trouble quitting before". Quitting doesn't mean pausing, or stopping for a short period of time.... it means to quit, i.e., not drink again. It sounds like you cannot actually "quit"...
"it'll be okay to let me have a drink or two a couple times a week". You're kidding yourself here.... if you had the chance to "...prove it many times before, but have not." then what makes you think things will be different the next time? Seems like you are doing the same thing over and over again but you expect different results...
Why would going to A.A. meetings jeopardize your job? How would your employer know that you went to an A.A. meeting? Is drinking a "mandatory" job requirement or do you just drink with co-workers? When co-workers ask me if I want a drink I usually respond with "No Thanks, I gotta be home by Christmas" or "I've already done enough drinking for a lifetime".... If they press I simply say I no longer drink.
Your post actually reminds me of me... the me of "back in the day"... My wife knew I had a drinking problem way before I would even consider it. After all, I worked hard and "deserved" that drink at the end of the day.... that always seem to turn into another drink, then another. It took 3 DUI's to convince me that I could no longer deny that I was an alcoholic. I was a binge drinker and could go weeks without thinking of drinking. Pressure would build up from stress and eventually I would realize that having a drink or two would "take the edge off". I could never have only one or two though.... unless I was being on my best behavior to get the wife, or the this, or the that, off my back.
I like to believe that anyone that finds themselves in an A.A. Meeting or a web site like SR, is probably there for a reason. I don't think the truly "occasional drinker" would find it necessary to find a recovery website or attend an A.A. meeting.
I found this online...
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." (Alcoholics Anonymous, 44:1)
I get asked often enough "How do I know if I am an alcoholic?" It depends on whose description you want to use. It seems there is no shortage of differing opinions and descriptions of alcoholism out here in the trenches. If you want to adopt Dr. Phil's description or Oprah's description or Dr. Drew's description or even my family doctor's description we may or may not end up on the same page as the grand-daddy of ALL descriptions and the one for which a Twelve Step Program for recovery is taught and practiced by the wonderful Fellowship called Alcoholics Anonymous.
AA's "Our description of the alcoholic" which they painstakingly delineate in the first forty three pages of their book tells us that alcoholism has nothing to do with how many or when you drink. Too bad- because that means that we have no way of telling whether or not someone is alcoholic simply based upon our casual judgement of their drinking habits. What it does have to do with how someone’s body reacts to alcohol and then if that is an abnormal reaction, whether or not they drink anyway - despite it - and that means a deeper look into the history and experience of the problem drinker than even most doctors or so-called "Addictions" counselors are capable of - let alone family, clergymen, friends or employers.
There are plenty of real alcoholics who drink less than you or I (did) and plenty who drink more - so a diagnosis cannot be made by comparing quantity or frequency.
You've asked what you should do. I hope that is obvious by now...
I wish you and your family well. Peace, Love and God Bless,
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Thanks2HP said everything better than I ever could, so I'm just going to give you MY opinionated answer to your question.. what do you do?
Stop drinking, become a better husband and sober father to those babies. You are obsessing about drinking, and that sucks. Please get the help you need, there really are more important things going on in your life right now I would think. Your wife does not deserve this whiplash, and your kids deserve a present father.
Also, I would be happy to lose a job that would get in the way of my sobriety, I guess I'm super lucky.. my job would flex in any way possible to SUPPORT my sobriety and the efforts I make to maintain it.
Take care.
Stop drinking, become a better husband and sober father to those babies. You are obsessing about drinking, and that sucks. Please get the help you need, there really are more important things going on in your life right now I would think. Your wife does not deserve this whiplash, and your kids deserve a present father.
Also, I would be happy to lose a job that would get in the way of my sobriety, I guess I'm super lucky.. my job would flex in any way possible to SUPPORT my sobriety and the efforts I make to maintain it.
Take care.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR candr. 
I am under an ultimatum from my wife also and my circumstances are similar to yours.
I made a list of the good and bad of drinking and when ever I get the urge I look at the list and all I have to do is read the first bad to get rid of the urge.
It is the same as your bad.
IF I DON'T QUIT DRINKING MY WIFE WILL LEAVE.
That is all I need to stay sober.
I know you are feeling some resentment towards your wife but it is misplaced.
If you try the one or two route and it doesn't work and you once again, as you always have, get annoyed and say mean things to your wife where will you be?
She is doing this for your own good believe me.
So for the sake of your wife, yourdelf and your children heed her advice.
I am quitting without the help of any groups except the people here that help me at SR. I Just don't drink anymore PERIOD.
Good Luck
I am under an ultimatum from my wife also and my circumstances are similar to yours.
I made a list of the good and bad of drinking and when ever I get the urge I look at the list and all I have to do is read the first bad to get rid of the urge.
It is the same as your bad.
IF I DON'T QUIT DRINKING MY WIFE WILL LEAVE.
That is all I need to stay sober.
I know you are feeling some resentment towards your wife but it is misplaced.
If you try the one or two route and it doesn't work and you once again, as you always have, get annoyed and say mean things to your wife where will you be?
She is doing this for your own good believe me.
So for the sake of your wife, yourdelf and your children heed her advice.
I am quitting without the help of any groups except the people here that help me at SR. I Just don't drink anymore PERIOD.
Good Luck
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Hotel California
Posts: 175
Originally Posted by Fubarcdn
IF I DON'T QUIT DRINKING MY WIFE WILL LEAVE.
That is all I need to stay sober.
I am quitting without the help of any groups except the people here that help me at SR. I Just don't drink anymore PERIOD.
Good Luck
That is all I need to stay sober.
I am quitting without the help of any groups except the people here that help me at SR. I Just don't drink anymore PERIOD.
Good Luck
I'm glad that you are abstinent from alcohol. I believe there is a huge difference between abstinence and sobriety. I hope that one day you want to try sobriety because you want to. You might beat the odds as there are always exceptions to the rule. My experience has been that my use of alcohol was but a symptom. It is a symptom of a spiritual malady.
I tried to treat the spiritual malady with alcohol, which seemed to work for a while. Then it stopped working.
When I "just don't drink, PERIOD, it means I am WHITE KNUCKLING it... but that's my experience. Perhaps it isn't yours.
The only way for me to be relatively free from obsessive thoughts, compulsive actions and keep my character defects at arms length is to work the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. Getting a sponsor, attending meetings on a regular basis, finding a home group, service commitments and sponsoring others is also part the solution.
I know that getting complacent with all of the above is dangerous because I got complacent in recovery. I was heading away from sobriety and towards a drink. Obsession and compulsion crept back into my life. My character defects sprang back as if they had been on a stretched rubber band. Old behavior came back. The cunning baffling part was that the process was gradual and I didn't realize a thing. I was still going to meetings because I knew I would drink if I didn't. I didn't listen to those that tried to point out that I wasn't "doing the deal". I acted out in a negative fashion and faced consequences as a result. The only solution for me was to get back into active recovery. I just finished going over my first step with my sponsor out of the NA Step Working Guide and man does it feel good to be in the steps again.
You might not be open to hearing what I'm saying and then again you may be that exception that doesn't "need" A.A. I tell you what though. I know a lot of "normies" that could benefit spiritually from working a 12 Step Program. A$$ Wholes Anonymous maybe?....
Well wishes to you and your family and best of luck to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 4
Thanks everyone for the information. I can't say too much about my job, but believe me it would be in jeopardy. Like i said earlier I'm confused. I know that drinking won't solve anything, but at the same time I try to convince myself that a beer or two won't hurt anything. I know it sounds like exscuses, but I'm honestly trying to figure everything out. before, I would drink whenever I felt like, but now I've shown myself a beer in the evening an hour or two before I go to bed is all I really wish for. Like I said, I'm not trying to make exscuses. I know nobody can answer this, but maybe some insight. Is this away for me to cover up cravings? It seems like what I've been doing lately is mentally having cravings and I keep telling myself I can have a beer tonight and they disappear for awhile. I normally don't have that beer and go to bed dwelling on silly things. What am I going to tell work, I can't ever have a beer with my brother, what do I tell my kids when they're older. Fishing is a huge part of our life....how do I go fishing without that one beer. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm afraid of being misdiagnosed. Before I seek help I want to know for sure if I can be someone that only drinks a beer or two. I seem to have proven to myself that all I really want is that one beer and I don't think about another one until the next day. Thanks for all the insight.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hey, welcome.
Only you can diagnose, or decide, that you are or are not alcoholic.
I can't imagine why you can't go to a few AA meetings, they would be worth your time...
You seem to have a lot of ambivalence, and with all due respect, some contradictory statements about craving/obsessing beer.... There might be a problem if you have to keep telling yourself you can have a beer later in the day to stop the cravings. It seems that you are investing a lot of emotional energy in whether or not you can drink, whether you can go fishing with your brother without drinking, etc...
Please at least get a Big Book ("Alcoholics Anonymous") or other good book to help you better understand....
Good luck, welcome to SR.... Keep Posting
Mark
Only you can diagnose, or decide, that you are or are not alcoholic.
I can't imagine why you can't go to a few AA meetings, they would be worth your time...
You seem to have a lot of ambivalence, and with all due respect, some contradictory statements about craving/obsessing beer.... There might be a problem if you have to keep telling yourself you can have a beer later in the day to stop the cravings. It seems that you are investing a lot of emotional energy in whether or not you can drink, whether you can go fishing with your brother without drinking, etc...
Please at least get a Big Book ("Alcoholics Anonymous") or other good book to help you better understand....
Good luck, welcome to SR.... Keep Posting
Mark
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Welcome to SR and keep coming back!
If you are at the crossroads of making a decision to live a sober/clean life or to continue drinking...please know that many of us have been where you are now. Many of us have made the decision to give it an honest effort and some have not. After learning how to stop drinking/using and then staying stopped, a new way of life became available to us and alot of us have never looked back at our 'old way of living'. We live day to day in our new way of life as best we can; asking for help from each other, staying committed to our sponsors, and depending on a God of our understanding for guidance.
"If you want we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps."
If you are at the crossroads of making a decision to live a sober/clean life or to continue drinking...please know that many of us have been where you are now. Many of us have made the decision to give it an honest effort and some have not. After learning how to stop drinking/using and then staying stopped, a new way of life became available to us and alot of us have never looked back at our 'old way of living'. We live day to day in our new way of life as best we can; asking for help from each other, staying committed to our sponsors, and depending on a God of our understanding for guidance.
"If you want we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps."
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
When I quit drinking, I stopped being obsessed about drinking, and got excited about life.
I hope you find your way, but if you can drink 1-2 beers a day, and it's no problem for you, then what's the problem?
You're spending an awful lot of time on this, which of course leads me to think that it is a bigger problem for you.. I see a LOT of obsession.. wouldn't it be nice not to think so much about it? A beer or 2 probably wont hurt anything, but an obsession with it just might.. and I feel for you, but this is your choice.. the rest of what you do is all on you.
I hope for your kiddos sake that you make some good choices about your health.
Have you read the responses here that people have taken the time to express??
I hope you find your way, but if you can drink 1-2 beers a day, and it's no problem for you, then what's the problem?
You're spending an awful lot of time on this, which of course leads me to think that it is a bigger problem for you.. I see a LOT of obsession.. wouldn't it be nice not to think so much about it? A beer or 2 probably wont hurt anything, but an obsession with it just might.. and I feel for you, but this is your choice.. the rest of what you do is all on you.
I hope for your kiddos sake that you make some good choices about your health.
Have you read the responses here that people have taken the time to express??
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Being alcoholic doesn't depend on what or how or where or how much or when you drink - it's what happens to you when you drink. If alcohol is making your life difficult, then you may have a 'problem' with it.
I didn't think I had a problem with my wine, but my daughter did - and she could see the 'me' that I couldn't see. I didn't know how I'd get thru a day without a glass (or two or three or four) of wine, but now I'm much happier without it at all. Not to mention all the bad things that could happen as a result of drinking, not the least of which was losing the respect of my kids or hurting/killing someone with my car.
I NEVER thought I was too drunk to drive, but my daughter told me clearly that I had picked her up from school several times OBVIOUSLY drunk. If it was that obvious to her, then yes, I was drunk. I knew I had a problem long before I actually admitted it, cause I was hiding it from my kids. If it wasn't a bad thing to drink wine, why was I hiding it and lying about it?
Long story short, I'm happier without it and my life is so much easier without it. I'm not spending (too much) money on it and I'm not risking accidents, death, injury, or a DUI. I'm glad I quit drinking. I just don't 'need' it, nor do I 'want' it anymore.
Just a thought... but why does it upset you when your wife visits her family?
I didn't think I had a problem with my wine, but my daughter did - and she could see the 'me' that I couldn't see. I didn't know how I'd get thru a day without a glass (or two or three or four) of wine, but now I'm much happier without it at all. Not to mention all the bad things that could happen as a result of drinking, not the least of which was losing the respect of my kids or hurting/killing someone with my car.
I NEVER thought I was too drunk to drive, but my daughter told me clearly that I had picked her up from school several times OBVIOUSLY drunk. If it was that obvious to her, then yes, I was drunk. I knew I had a problem long before I actually admitted it, cause I was hiding it from my kids. If it wasn't a bad thing to drink wine, why was I hiding it and lying about it?
Long story short, I'm happier without it and my life is so much easier without it. I'm not spending (too much) money on it and I'm not risking accidents, death, injury, or a DUI. I'm glad I quit drinking. I just don't 'need' it, nor do I 'want' it anymore.
Just a thought... but why does it upset you when your wife visits her family?
Last edited by least; 05-03-2009 at 12:45 PM.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
It seems that "only one beer" is wishful thinking. People who drink only one beer don't scream at their wives, and there's probably more history to your story if she's given you an ultimatum. And why does your job allow you to purchase beer, drink it, go fishing, yet prevent you from going to AA meetings? I'm not trying to yank your chain here, believe me. But you have to make some serious decisions as to where you life is going, and whether your wife and children are going with you. Step back and take a serious look at yourself. I wish you the best.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Originally Posted by Thanks2HP
Fubarcdn,
When I "just don't drink, PERIOD, it means I am WHITE KNUCKLING it... but that's my experience. Perhaps it isn't yours.
T
.
When I "just don't drink, PERIOD, it means I am WHITE KNUCKLING it... but that's my experience. Perhaps it isn't yours.
T
.
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