original

It's been almost a week since the stupidest mistake of my life..
I'm slowly coming to terms with the chaos I caused, and attended AA last night, which was thoroughly life changing. I got my red chip, and a hefty applause from all the members there for truly having the desire to stop abusing myself and others with my alcohol problem. And for the first time, I felt like I belonged- in a group situation. I was offered a ride to a "promises" meeting this morning, and promptly decided to go. We all sat around a table, and told our stories, and just the shared experiences were like a godsend. I am truly grateful for AA, and would spend all my time there if I could.

Never before have I felt so much that I needed their support, but they also need mine. It is truly awsome, I was skeptical before, but now I see.

Thankyou all, and I wish you the best of luck today.
I no longer feel so alone, and although I can never be cured of my affliction, I can strive to make myself a better person.

JJB

As a novice perhaps you could explain to me what a red chip is and a promises meeting
Thanks

original

For sure...

The "Red Chip" is a poker chip, that I got for going the 1st time. I just carry it with me to remind me to not get tempted.
What I loved about it was (I just got a DUI) on the front there is the Ace of Spades, and on the back, just simply printed, the word "Bicycle".
Hell knows why but I found it humorous and coincidental to my current situation...
Then I think after 3 months, you get a blue chip, and after 6, a white chip.
It's simply a tool to remember your progress by, and gives you something to work towards... (not sure what's after the white chip, but after a year of sobreity, you're doin' pretty good I think).

A promises meeting.. well I'm not ENTIRELY sure, I think it has something to do with it being a "closed" meeting, and not open to the public. Alcoholics only. Not really sure, so don't quote me on it!

Also I would like to add that my mind is all over the shop right now, but with the help of AA, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

JJB

That's really interesting. Do you know whether all AA meetings are done like this? and sorry to be really dumb but what is a DIU?
Your enthusiasm is quite contagious. Thanks

Anna

I'm glad you're working on your recovery, Original!

least

A DUI means Driving Under the Influence

original

DUI is Drunk Driving, and I'm not proud of it, but if I can, I would like to help others through a time like this. For me it is the liscence suspension that cripples me most, that and having to depend on others for rides. Here in Canada it is practically impossible to get anywhere, as the public transport system is almost non-existant. The embarrassment, shame, and guilt have at times been unbearable, and I have thought about ending my life. You litterally become a martyr or pariah of soceity, even if it's the first time you've done something like this. Your future is near destroyed as employers won't take a second glance at your resume, and it can be extremely trying on your family members. My life was flipped upside down in litterally seconds, but I view this ALL as time to change. Yesterday I felt so low I could have hurt myself (sober), but instead I turned that frown upside down, and went for a bike ride in the rain. I refuse to be beaten to a pulp and left out to dry. I will have to face what is coming to me in the next year, and I do so knowing that I have done wrong, and only I can right it. I am scared, terrified, but I will pull through, and if I can stop someone from getting into a car drunk, then I'll knock them out if I have to! I wouldn't wish this kind of thing on anyone (the psychological after-effects are monumental)...

I'm new to courts, judges, police trouble and the like, but this will be the first and last time I do anything so stupid.

Sorry for the ramble...

I think most AA meetings follow the same template, and some differ in different ways, the template isn't really what you need to worry about, the will to enjoy a life without being drunk is the real key to living a better life!

Get down there- if you REALLY want to stop (and I really bloody do) then it can only do you the world of good.

Yes, it IS quite nerve-racking going in there and seeing some of the "cult" procedures, but you're there to stop drinking. Testemant 3!
I found so many characters there even in my first two days, and I laughed a lot! (hasn't been much laughing in the past week!)

I don't mean to sound like a "know it all" because I am far from it, I am just sharing my experience in order to help anyone I can, as the guys here at this forum have done it for me since March 16, and last night I gained more strength and courage through the hands of fellow alcoholics, and in this case, I intend to pay it back.

You won't catch me preaching much, but when I find something I really believe in, you'll have a hard time shutting me up!!!

Speaking of which.... :P

CarolD

I'm so pleased you found something that you connected to.
AA is an awesome adventure
in self improvement and joy.....

Congratulations on your new sober future

JJB

Thanks for your post original. I found it really helpful. I'm trying to give up alcohol too and am proud now to be on day 3. Fortunately i never ever got done for drunk driving but i think the way you are reacting to the event is really courageous. i once got stopped for speeding-i was sober and although i went to court, lost my licence for a week and had to pay a fine (for which i had to take out a loan) i actually have always seen this incident as a lifesaver..Just before being stopped i was driving faster and faster and if i hadn't been stopped i don't know how long it would have been before i killed myself (or others!!!) in an accident.I now annoy all drivers on the road by respecting religiously the speed limit. I don't know if that's relevant to this discussion as it had nothing to do with alcohol (unless there's something in an alcoholic's brain which makes us want to do things faster and faster , more and more and never in moderation.)
Thanks for sharing your experience and explaining more about AA
:ghug3

original

Hey no problem. I would have to say that I am having real difficulties dealing with my current situation, but I haven't desired to block it out with alcohol at all, so I must be doing something right. Good job we got cought I think, sometimes crazy people like us need to have a good smack in the head to change our ways.

As soon as the crown hands down my punishment, I can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that I am paying for my crime, coming clean, and starting out on a new adventure, and a sober life.

I look back at all the times I have nearly ruined everything with alcohol and frankly it disgusts me. It brings out an alter-ego in me, which I do not like.
The sober version is awsome! (most of the time!)

Good luck to you, don't drink today.

adore79

Thanks for your positive and inspirational post. I too am going through the DUI legal stuff now, although the court part is almost over, then its on to treatment and paying for the mistake but I feel that I will be alright and it really isnt the end of the world. Like you said, it is a great chance to finally get completely serious about recovery to the point where I actually do the things i know i need to do. So, good luck and keep us updated.

original

I absolutely will keep you updated.

At the moment I'm charged with

Exceed 0.08 (80 mg of alcohol in 100mg of blood) and
Fail to remain at the scene of the accident.

I am quite litterally scared out of my own being, but as AA has told me,

We cannot worry about yesterday, it cannot be changed.
The sun will rise tommorow, maybe behind clouds, but it will rise.
Anyone can fight the battles of just one day.

Currently I am LIVING by this.
( I have to admit to scrawling the internet for laws on DUI in my province, but it's really getting me no-where, apart from stressed out, and when stressed I cannot offer support to anyone else.)

I'm SLOWLY realising that it's not the end of the world, but it's a rediculous sized boot in the arse.

If me coming on here and discussing my charge helped you, I can tell you that you helped me too. Just speaking to someone in the same situation is something FAR better than scrawling the internet. Glad to have helped!

I don't know what will happen, 1,2,3,4,5 year ban, $20 000 dollars later, and a criminal record for 10 years for sure. The one thing that really kills you is the suspension, but hey, do the crime, pay the time.

I deserve it, but if I can fight it, I will.
(common sense.)

I would also like to say, all you first time offenders out there, DON'T let people make you feel like the scum of the earth (because they will try)... you have to remember that it is more than likely these people have done it too.
You made a mistake, nothing more.
The legalities and lifelong effects will scare you... but just worry about today.

It's almost like being cursed with a DOUBLE whammy...
You got caught... AND, people flame you every day for being responsible.

Well...

You got caught because it was MEANT to happen. For some reason or another, it was part of the grand scheme of things, so don't question it, it happened to OPEN your eyes to how you can change your life for the better.

People flame people ANYWAY, this, is just called life.
Ignorant people flame people because it makes them feel smart.
And I fully understand if the person flaming has lost a family member or had someone close to them injured by a drunk driver, but they need to realise that PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES.

I was told of a man who killed two people at an intersection on his 3rd DUI. Spent 5 years in Jail, re-habillitated himself, got a job upon leaving jail, also stayed sober for the rest of his days, while also touring schools and legal facillities on the dangers of drink driving.

People CAN change. Some people won't or can't- it is FULLY up to them.

I'm sorry for the length of this thread but I honestly believe that people caught drunk driving make up a VERY small percentage of the people actually doing it, and because of such, the immediate branding of being a criminal is completely unjust. We've all heard of Policemen, Judges, and poloticians getting caught for DUI. And how do we know that half the people on our street didn't do it last night?

Being caught gives you a VERY inconvenient punishment, but if we live through it, we can teach others our knowledge, and we can also know that we ourselves have grown as a person.

I have respect for safety and don't intend on repeating this mistake, and I hope others can learn from it.

good luck... ;P

original

"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster."

People with DUI's have to make sure they don't end up being a LAWYER!!

adore79

One thing is dont let anyone scare you about what the punishment is going to be. I was told it would cost me $10,000 but it will be nowhere near that much in fines, the cost will come from paying for required alcohol treatment, monthly probation fees and monthly payments to have a breathalyzer in my car (wont start unless I blow a 0 reading.)

It might be different in Canada though, idk. But at least I will be paying over time, its not like they will throw me in jail because I cant pay thousands of dollars right away.

joedris

Different AA groups around the country have different ways of recognizing periods of sobriety. In VA we give out white chips for the first day and different colors after that to mark 30 days, 6 mos, one year, etc. And I'm not sure that's true for the whole state. I was at a meeting in Beverly Hills that had the some custom, but in Mass they only gave you a chip after one year. Regardless, Original, hold tight to that red chip. It's the most important one you'll ever get. I held on to my white chip for several years until recently when a good friend went back out briefly. So I gave it to him, figuring at this point that he needs it more than I do. I took the new one that he picked up.

The reason that I carry the white chip with me, and require all me sponsees to do the same, is that it reminds me of where I came from and I never want to go back there. All the other chips I collect I give to my whacko Lorikeet to play with. He seems fond of yellow....