flip0812

Previously was another failure- Bummed. I had to change it because Now I want to look at the Positives.

First and again Thank you to all who have gave me guidence and direction during the past week(s).

Day 5 - 05/01/09
I am posting and copying these so when I think I want to toot an oxy I can read what I may forget about the fun in suffering with w/d's.

Yesterday was somewhat rough- Mentally the physical side was less than previous days. I made it the entire day at work(bad enough I was considering leaving) then when I got home I ate and went str8 to sleep. A LOT less sweating I didnt have to change sheets / shirt. Id say it was minimal. I felt as if I slept the entire night! However my wife says I was still bouncing around and even talking telling stories, fussing about work. I only recall waking up one time.

So far today Positive outlook. Very little to no W/d's. An occasional thought of just One will not hurt....Hell No I ain't.

Really focusing on the positives. A New way of thinking for me.
I keep thinking of a song Tracy Lawrence better man and relating it Oxy's:

The hardest thing I'll ever do
Is to walk away still loving you
I'd give anything if you loved me
But some things just ain't meant to be

Can't say it's all been time lost
In the long run I'll be a better man, better off

Gonna find my pride, self esteem, get on with my life
Follow my dreams, ain't looking back
Learn from my mistakes, once I'm past this heartache
I know when the hurtin' stops
I'll be a better man, better off

I know Rome wasn't built in a day
And there's alot of good memories in my way
But if I had to do it over again
I wouldn't change a thing, except for the end

Gonna be some pain, gotta pay the cost
But in the long run, I'll be a better man, better off

Gonna find my pride, self esteem, get on with my life
Follow my dreams, ain't looking back
Learn from my mistakes, once I'm past this heartache
I know when the hurtin' stops
I'll be a better man, better off

I'm gonna learn from my mistakes
Once I'm past this heartache
I know when the hurtin' stops
I'll be a better man, better off
A better man, better off
A whole lot better off



Now tell me there not a lot of truth to see in that!

Thanks again SR!

serenityqueen

That is a great song. I get a lot out of lyrics to different songs. We've had more than a few threads on here about songs that remind us of Recovery. I'll have to send a PM to one of the mods to see exactly where they may be hidden. You could spend hours reading these.

My favorite CD is The Soundtrack to the Heroin Diaries by SixxAM. Each song is Recovery related written by Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) DJ Ashba, James Michael and others who are in Recovery from some type of addiction. Hit up YouTube and check out the song Permission from this CD. This is the song that I relate to my Recovery more than any other.

As a fellow addict whose DOC was also opiate pain killers, I understand what you're going through. Just Keep it Simple, One Day at A Time and don't use, Just for Today. If you need to vent or need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Been there, done that and thank God, I am working on coming up on 4 years free from the demon!

God Bless You,
Judy

flip0812

Day NINE woohoo.... I really thought I was good to go until Friday.
I really had an urge- but walked away.
I went to meetings sat & sunday- really gave me more hope.

Diggest issue now is blood pressure (i never had an issue that I know of) but it keeps going up. I got some meds from Dr and then it went too low.

So just like my emotions my BP is on a roller coster as well.
My wife told me it would increase when I quit. another one she was correct on.

Tazman53

flip congrats on your clean time, keep up the meetings and stay in the day my friend. Sounds as though it might be a good idea to see a doctor and get things stabalized by a doctor.