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I feel like the most horrible person in the world right now. (long)



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I feel like the most horrible person in the world right now. (long)

Old 05-01-2009, 12:20 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
JJB
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Originally Posted by OzSandy View Post
You did the responsible thing, which is more than I can say for a lot of people.
Yes I agree. You really did the best thing which certainly does not make you a horrible person
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Old 05-01-2009, 01:53 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I feel for you...

I've had two Sibe Huskies that I've had to return last minute, the first one we kept for a day, and then took back.
I cried like a baby.... my first dog, and it was not to be.
I truly mean it when I say I've been there- it's heart wrenching, but in time, you will be able to get a dog when the dust settles.
There's nothing like waving goodbye to the first one though.
The second was at the breeders the whole time, and he probably went to a better home than I could offer.

I feel for you... stay strong. I know it ain't easy.
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Old 05-01-2009, 07:05 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Red face

Sometimes the BEST thing to do when you are getting those crazy thoughts that MIGHT make you use IS to just go to bed. I'm in kind of a rut myself, but what I have read on this forums leads me to believe that it is par for the course.
I'm a animal lover too, but it isn't like you put the puppy into a potato sack & threw it on the highway during rush hour.(!) You took the time & cared enough to make sure that it had a decent place to go to. Maybe you can get your little cousin another, more trainable puppy who is more house-friendly.


"This too shall pass". I give it a month.
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Old 05-01-2009, 08:44 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Trish I've been thinking of you on and off all day.

I hope you're okay.Check in soon.

Love,

Julesxox
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Old 05-02-2009, 03:25 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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((Trish)) I've been thinking about ya, too.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:51 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Me too.... Hope you're ok.

Take care yeah.
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Old 05-02-2009, 12:52 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Trish, if you would have kept that puppy then one day the frustration may have gotten to the breaking point where you could have done something really stupid, like using.

I'm sure it did hurt, I've had to put animals down before, end the lives of a pet I had for years and years. You can't keep holding on to this or else you will let it be the excuse you seem to be reserving for an explanation for using. I know it's tough when we have to start feeling and dealing with situations that in the past that we would have just avoided altogether by using but as Anvil said, it's called living life on life's terms.

Since I've been in Recovery, I've had to accept the fact that my Mom is going to be leaving this earth very soon. A year ago, she was in congestive heart failure and had signed a DNR. Standing next to your Mom's possible deathbed and knowing that you have to let her go is by far one of the worst things anyone can experience. I also lost my Father since I have been in Recovery. Honey, I know giving up the puppy hurt, I'm also an animal lover but it's just a puppy for God's sakes and you found it a good home. As soon as your little cousin sees a litter full of kittens, you know darn well he's going to turn his love and attention to a kitten and the puppy will be only a memory. I'm not meaning to sound harsh, but it's the truth. At least your little cousin didn't have months or years to become attached to an animal that you had to suddenly give away.

Ok, now what are you going to do for Trish today? You got paid, what, yesterday? I know you're trying to get bills caught up and to keep doing the responsible thing, but sometimes we need to buy ourselves a little something as a reward for our hard work. (You know what I'm NOT talking about buying here) Go get yourself a new outfit, a CD, a new purse, something to show for your hard work.

I hope you check in soon. I'll be thinking about you. I'd really hate to start hobbling on my walker up there to swing my cane at you and lovingly knock some sense into you! lol

Love ya girl,
Judy
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Old 05-02-2009, 01:19 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Don't be so hard on yourself. You did the right thing, and you found the puppy a good home. It's not like you threw her to the wolves. That pup is probably eating steak right now. Besides the puppy will have the soccer moms kids to play with him/her all day. Your little cousin will get over it. He is not the one cleaning up puppy poop. It's obvious you love the puppy. I love them too. But, I can't have on in my home either. They need extra loving care, and alot of attention. It's a big responsibility. You tried, and it didn't work. The puppy will have a good life. And you don't have to clean puppy poop right now. Don't be sad. Picture him playing and running, and eating someone elses furniture. LOL
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Old 05-02-2009, 01:37 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Hmmm i'm going into rehab on the 10th May, it has meant a load of hassle and moving a mountain to ensure that when i come out i will have my cat back...otherwise i would not go in. Her name is Trixie and i would rather gut a human being than lose her, i will be leaving her with a good friend of mine who has 3 years sober through AA. The same person had a cat for 16 years whilst drinking, so i believe she is in safe hands.

I think you are in a difficult situation and i do believe that you have to do what is best for you...
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:16 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I am just in a sad place lately. Its normal I guess. I get that stuck feeling after so long. I am so se to living crazy that doing the same thing everyday like clock work gets to me for some reason. I should be glad. At least I know my day wont end in jail or dead or something like that.
I didnt feel the relapse over the puppy. I was feeling that way before that. And I have owned 2 dogs before that. Both from puppies. I had the first one for about a year and I ran away when I was 16 from my aunts house in TN and jumped a plane back to FL and left the dog.
Then I had my baby girl Ashley who I got when she was a puppy and we had her for about 6 yrs until our neighbor poisined her along with 4 other dogs in the neighborhood.
Little dogs seem to be more needy. Maybe its just me.
Anyway..Thx everyone. I gotta stop letting myself feel like this. Like this is it in life.
Ho Hum lifestyle. It sux being a responsible adult. It really does.

And what made it all so horrible about the puppy. Was seeing my poor cousins reaction. I mean he was hysterical. He grabbed the puppy back abd was begging to keep her and crying. I hate to see him hurting like that. Actually it ripped my heart out.
He is going through so much already.
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:32 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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(((Trish))) glad you checked in - sorry you feel so sad.

I don't think my life is humdrum and I don't much much more than sit here LOL - it's all how you look at it I guess...gotta make the most of what you got .

As long as you're missing something from your old life, I think that's gonna be a hold - a hold you don't need - even without going out again, missing something is gonna keep you sad.

You need to find other ways to get some excitement and enthusiasm, Chiy - apart from the old life stuff, what floats ya boat?

D
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Old 05-02-2009, 07:50 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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You've sounded depressed and down for a few days. I had a similar reaction to your cousin when I was a kid. My parents sat me down and explained to me the responsibility of having a pet, and it was okay. I stick with cats myself.

Maybe at the moment you need a little extra support, or to discuss your options with somebody.
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