Okay, to hell with it!
Hollyce Jones
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: The Golden State of California
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by firestorm090 
The coolest thing just happened, my little pug dog just came and leaned up against my leg
Gotta love the doggie.
My pug does that when I'm all flustered, or after I've had a fight with my boyfriend... actually, both of my dogs and my cat all team up around me, like, "Hey Mom? What's up? We LOVE YOU!"
Wouldn't life be easier if we could live as simply as our pets?
The best advice anyone has given me is to take it one day at a time. I literally see a bottle of booze or wine, or a beer, and mentally flip it off and say, "Not today, dude."
You hang in there!
Hollyce
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
OK, I'm running for President, gonna change the world!!
Well, I'll start next week, kinda tired today, so you'll all have to hang in there a while longer, till I can straighten things out. Might take me a couple weeks, lol.
Well, I'll start next week, kinda tired today, so you'll all have to hang in there a while longer, till I can straighten things out. Might take me a couple weeks, lol.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Storm one of the greatest things I have learned out of the BB and in the rooms is that when I become angry, confused, frustrated, etc. to STOP!!!!!!!
I stop and try to be quiet, say a silent prayer simply asking for guidance and strength, meditate to see if I can get through this okay, and if need be I get it out there to gain the experience, strength & hope of my fellows.
Before getting sober and taking the steps I simply reacted to things and if I over reacted or reacted in a bad manner I suffered the consequences! Today I actually find peace in becoming aware that in some cases I simply need to accept some things totally out of my control and to turn them over.
When I STOP I generally suffer no consequences, sometimes consequences are unavoidable because at times even they are beyond my control, but you know I just roll with the punches and when I start to go down my HP catches me and keeps me from going down.
Storm you may not be able to see your own growth in sobriety, but others do, just stay in the day.
I stop and try to be quiet, say a silent prayer simply asking for guidance and strength, meditate to see if I can get through this okay, and if need be I get it out there to gain the experience, strength & hope of my fellows.
Before getting sober and taking the steps I simply reacted to things and if I over reacted or reacted in a bad manner I suffered the consequences! Today I actually find peace in becoming aware that in some cases I simply need to accept some things totally out of my control and to turn them over.
When I STOP I generally suffer no consequences, sometimes consequences are unavoidable because at times even they are beyond my control, but you know I just roll with the punches and when I start to go down my HP catches me and keeps me from going down.
Storm you may not be able to see your own growth in sobriety, but others do, just stay in the day.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Sandy getting it out is a good thing, I have seen anger released here & in the rooms. Here and in the rooms is a good and safe place to let things out! The worse thing I can do with anger is to stuff it way down inside of me to stew and build up pressure. We all need to vent at times.
I will qualify the above and say that jumping down an individuals throat here or in the rooms is not what I feel a way of venting.
I will qualify the above and say that jumping down an individuals throat here or in the rooms is not what I feel a way of venting.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
This is a really really good thread and is having a profound effect on me...
I am 7.5 months.... Intervention, Career is dependent on sobriety, Rehab. AA. I made the most out of rehab, and genuinely love AA and am really working on the steps, not as much progress as I need to be, still working and reworking step one.
I have acceptance and growing willingness. Operative word is willingness.
This thread has helped me understand something about what has been wrong in my universe. My wife is also concerned about me, she has not seen much evidence of good recovery.
I resent the hell out of the fact that I have to recover... I am f*cking pissed that I can't have a drink, I mean angry... so angry I am afraid to let it out. I DO have acceptance. Like Taz said, I do STOP and take inventory. I do have some serenity and have occasional glimpses of long term happiness. I don't have cravings and few urges...., but still get really f*cking resentful that I can't kick back now and then and have a few.... I was a daily drinker, few blackouts and was not belligerent, just drunk....
I hope this is not a hijack, but so much in this thread was starting to apply and has been coming to a head in my own head.
Firestorm, thanx for being so eloquent and willing to share your experience, it is helping me very much. Same to all those who have participated in this thread.
Mark
I am 7.5 months.... Intervention, Career is dependent on sobriety, Rehab. AA. I made the most out of rehab, and genuinely love AA and am really working on the steps, not as much progress as I need to be, still working and reworking step one.
I have acceptance and growing willingness. Operative word is willingness.
This thread has helped me understand something about what has been wrong in my universe. My wife is also concerned about me, she has not seen much evidence of good recovery.
I resent the hell out of the fact that I have to recover... I am f*cking pissed that I can't have a drink, I mean angry... so angry I am afraid to let it out. I DO have acceptance. Like Taz said, I do STOP and take inventory. I do have some serenity and have occasional glimpses of long term happiness. I don't have cravings and few urges...., but still get really f*cking resentful that I can't kick back now and then and have a few.... I was a daily drinker, few blackouts and was not belligerent, just drunk....
I hope this is not a hijack, but so much in this thread was starting to apply and has been coming to a head in my own head.
Firestorm, thanx for being so eloquent and willing to share your experience, it is helping me very much. Same to all those who have participated in this thread.
Mark
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Firestorm - I had a similar situation the first time I went to AA. After the meeting I had atleast 4 guys swarm me saying inappropriate things to me, it was like I was a a single's bar. I have never been back because of the lasting impression it had on me.
I'm glad you have your little pug dog... Dogs always know what we are feeling. I have 3 of them and they are always by my side.
Don't give up on yourself; and thanks for your honest share.
I'm glad you have your little pug dog... Dogs always know what we are feeling. I have 3 of them and they are always by my side.
Don't give up on yourself; and thanks for your honest share.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Gosh, I gotta tell ya, I feel tired just from all the thoughts swirling around in my head.
One nice thing is I haven't gotten drunk in 37 days now, so something is working. When I think of all those countless days of being drunk on end, day after day, I just shutter. Getting up at 6am, showering, run some errends, then head tot he bar, it's plain scary now. many times I'd have to catch a bus to the bar to retrieve my car, having been to drunk to drive, so I'd leave it there. I remember getting mad at this guy who asked me, "Hey, do you live here at the bar?" Huh? Imagine me living in a bar. I proudly said, "No, of course not, I have my own home, whattaya kidding me?" Well, I was there so much it's easy to see why he thought that, but I was proud, inside I was trying to tell him I'm not a drunk like those other guys, you know, the winos. Huh? Talk about distorted thinking, my values were all bunched up on a bar stool. What a miserable life.
Today, if I accomplish nothing else, at least this ole drunk isn't going to drink.
One nice thing is I haven't gotten drunk in 37 days now, so something is working. When I think of all those countless days of being drunk on end, day after day, I just shutter. Getting up at 6am, showering, run some errends, then head tot he bar, it's plain scary now. many times I'd have to catch a bus to the bar to retrieve my car, having been to drunk to drive, so I'd leave it there. I remember getting mad at this guy who asked me, "Hey, do you live here at the bar?" Huh? Imagine me living in a bar. I proudly said, "No, of course not, I have my own home, whattaya kidding me?" Well, I was there so much it's easy to see why he thought that, but I was proud, inside I was trying to tell him I'm not a drunk like those other guys, you know, the winos. Huh? Talk about distorted thinking, my values were all bunched up on a bar stool. What a miserable life.
Today, if I accomplish nothing else, at least this ole drunk isn't going to drink.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Firestorm and Toomutch I am not going to say that there are not 13th steppers in the rooms, but what happened to you toomutch was the exception rather then the rule. I know in my area the swarm to the new women is done by the women and not the man. When I speak to a lady who is new I encourage her to stick with the ladies. There are also ladies only meetings which in my opinion is the best way for a lady to start out for thier first meeting.
We have more then one "Mother Hen" in my area who latches on to new ladies to forwarn them about 13th steppers. I have not seen it first hand in my area in my 2 1/2 years, but I have heard some of the old timers speak of taking a 13th stepper "OUTSIDE" and talking to them! LOL
In my area the men bend over backwards to make sure the new ladies are left alone by any one thinking about 13th stepping some one. Yes it does happen, I would be a fool to think that some guy who is new to AA would not hit on a new lady, it happens.
If it happens to any lady reading this post instead of running away from AA, let one of the AA ladies know about it, trust me they will straighten the male newcomer out real quick.
We have more then one "Mother Hen" in my area who latches on to new ladies to forwarn them about 13th steppers. I have not seen it first hand in my area in my 2 1/2 years, but I have heard some of the old timers speak of taking a 13th stepper "OUTSIDE" and talking to them! LOL
In my area the men bend over backwards to make sure the new ladies are left alone by any one thinking about 13th stepping some one. Yes it does happen, I would be a fool to think that some guy who is new to AA would not hit on a new lady, it happens.
If it happens to any lady reading this post instead of running away from AA, let one of the AA ladies know about it, trust me they will straighten the male newcomer out real quick.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Firestorm and Toomutch I am not going to say that there are not 13th steppers in the rooms, but what happened to you toomutch was the exception rather then the rule. I know in my area the swarm to the new women is done by the women and not the man. When I speak to a lady who is new I encourage her to stick with the ladies. There are also ladies only meetings which in my opinion is the best way for a lady to start out for thier first meeting.
We have more then one "Mother Hen" in my area who latches on to new ladies to forwarn them about 13th steppers. I have not seen it first hand in my area in my 2 1/2 years, but I have heard some of the old timers speak of taking a 13th stepper "OUTSIDE" and talking to them! LOL
In my area the men bend over backwards to make sure the new ladies are left alone by any one thinking about 13th stepping some one. Yes it does happen, I would be a fool to think that some guy who is new to AA would not hit on a new lady, it happens.
If it happens to any lady reading this post instead of running away from AA, let one of the AA ladies know about it, trust me they will straighten the male newcomer out real quick.
We have more then one "Mother Hen" in my area who latches on to new ladies to forwarn them about 13th steppers. I have not seen it first hand in my area in my 2 1/2 years, but I have heard some of the old timers speak of taking a 13th stepper "OUTSIDE" and talking to them! LOL
In my area the men bend over backwards to make sure the new ladies are left alone by any one thinking about 13th stepping some one. Yes it does happen, I would be a fool to think that some guy who is new to AA would not hit on a new lady, it happens.
If it happens to any lady reading this post instead of running away from AA, let one of the AA ladies know about it, trust me they will straighten the male newcomer out real quick.
The ladies in this particular group ignored me, it was quite uncomfortable. I am involved in a womens bible study group now, they know all about my alcoholism, mental health, etc... For me they are a wonderful support system.
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Toomutch I have a feeling I know what kind of meeting that was!!!! Sad to say, but there are AA groups out there where instead of focusing on the primary purpose of AA which is to help "Other alcoholics gain sobriety" the group becomes more of a social club of folks who got sober together. I often wonder how many people just say to hell with it after running into a group like that as thier first meeting.
I have never been to a meeting like that, but I have heard of them, they are actually kind of common in real rural areas where there are very few meetings due to very few people I have heard.
You know if you ever think about trying another AA meeting why not call the AA hotline, tell them what happened and ask if there is a meeting they could reccommend that is not that way. Oh yea, ask to speak to a lady, if there is not one there they will have one call you.
I have never been to a meeting like that, but I have heard of them, they are actually kind of common in real rural areas where there are very few meetings due to very few people I have heard.
You know if you ever think about trying another AA meeting why not call the AA hotline, tell them what happened and ask if there is a meeting they could reccommend that is not that way. Oh yea, ask to speak to a lady, if there is not one there they will have one call you.
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Sad to say, but there are AA groups out there where instead of focusing on the primary purpose of AA which is to help "Other alcoholics gain sobriety" the group becomes more of a social club of folks who got sober together.
You may have better luck hearing a message with depth and weight if you find closed meetings or book study meetings. Even that is no sure thing as I've seen some pretty fluffy book study meetings. But, odds are sure better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hi keithj, Taz and Toomuch,
Last night I met a guy who said that he doesn't attend the meetings which I've gone to lately. He told me the groups had split years ago, one group became the local uppity clique, the other caters to the more down and out. They compete, argue, and criticize each other, so he told me about a couple meetings he attends that aren't local, but aren't that far either, so I'm going to try these meetings. I'm sure there's no perfect group, but it would be nice to feel comfortable at a meeting. This guy has 22 years sober, so I think I'll hang with him for a while. he used to be homeless in Vegas, used to get food out of dumpsters, yet, now he has a wife, received his PHD two years ago and counsels alcoholics. Might prove to be a good fit for me. One thing he told me is that he doesn't cr*p in his backyard, that's one of the reasons he goes to meetings out of town. Makes sense to me.
I'm backing off a bit and taking it slower now. My head feels like someone poured a bowl of jello into my brain, it just keeps jiggling around. That's okay today, I still have hope, and am working on being patient.
Thanks for your help SR friends. Just don't drink today, that one choice makes all the difference.
Last night I met a guy who said that he doesn't attend the meetings which I've gone to lately. He told me the groups had split years ago, one group became the local uppity clique, the other caters to the more down and out. They compete, argue, and criticize each other, so he told me about a couple meetings he attends that aren't local, but aren't that far either, so I'm going to try these meetings. I'm sure there's no perfect group, but it would be nice to feel comfortable at a meeting. This guy has 22 years sober, so I think I'll hang with him for a while. he used to be homeless in Vegas, used to get food out of dumpsters, yet, now he has a wife, received his PHD two years ago and counsels alcoholics. Might prove to be a good fit for me. One thing he told me is that he doesn't cr*p in his backyard, that's one of the reasons he goes to meetings out of town. Makes sense to me.
I'm backing off a bit and taking it slower now. My head feels like someone poured a bowl of jello into my brain, it just keeps jiggling around. That's okay today, I still have hope, and am working on being patient.
Thanks for your help SR friends. Just don't drink today, that one choice makes all the difference.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere west of the Mississippi
Posts: 224
You know what? I feel the same way sometimes. Last night was a really hard night for me and I had to admit finally that this thing is kicking my butt in ways I had forgotten it would. For me the thing is that I have complex PTSD and when I don't drink all the anxiety and feeling like I'm loaded with adrenaline comes back. I know that is why I drink, heck, I drink deliberately with the conscious choice to drink specifically to get rid of that feeling, and I don't want anyone who hasn't walked in my own shoes to tell me what I should and shouldn't do about the way my body feels. So I can get pretty miserable about it.
I don't know that I have answers for you at this point as I don't even know what I'm going to do for myself. But do remember that your own situation is yours, and I find that remembering the saying "take what you need and leave the rest" keeps me focused on the bits that help and lets me shrug off the bits that don't. And who knows? What doesn't seem helpful today might become helpful next week or next month.
I'm right around where you are in sobriety so let's just keep on doing this.
I don't know that I have answers for you at this point as I don't even know what I'm going to do for myself. But do remember that your own situation is yours, and I find that remembering the saying "take what you need and leave the rest" keeps me focused on the bits that help and lets me shrug off the bits that don't. And who knows? What doesn't seem helpful today might become helpful next week or next month.
I'm right around where you are in sobriety so let's just keep on doing this.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere west of the Mississippi
Posts: 224
Just saw your most recent post-- sounds like a good plan. I am thinking myself of going to a different meeting today. I always go to the same group, which I like, but lately I am not feeling like I fit there. So we'll see.
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