I am so sick right now
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 164
The doc suggested rehab for a reason just as many people here have done. To be blunt (with love).....I see so many "excuses" in your posts and look back in my own experience using those same excuses. Everytime someone with experience in this told me something, I would always say, "Yeah, BUT....." When I finally got honest with myself and others (I was desperate to not have my adult daughter find out), things finally started to get better. I hope you make the right decision and get some help.
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
Have you been able to remain "super clean" without help prior to now?
The whole plan sounds awful to me, but what do I know. I took all the help I could get 18 months ago. I didn't have anyone I needed to hide anything from.
The whole plan sounds awful to me, but what do I know. I took all the help I could get 18 months ago. I didn't have anyone I needed to hide anything from.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Lov, you have decided to do it your way, it is your choice and your life.
I wish you luck...but make yourself a deal? If it doesn't work, you will try something else? Like rehab and being honset with your hub?
Anyway, I hope you get to AA like you said.
I wish you luck...but make yourself a deal? If it doesn't work, you will try something else? Like rehab and being honset with your hub?
Anyway, I hope you get to AA like you said.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
hi loveinmenow:
I guess the best way I can help is to tell you my story. First let me run something by you to think about: antabuse can help you stop drinking but it probably won't be effective in staying sober. These are two different things: quitting drinking and staying sober.
I didn't want to tell my husband about my drinking because doing that would have made it a lot harder for me to drink. As long as I drank in secret, I could drink as much as a wanted to without getting raised eyebrows from him: easier. And, I used the secrecy to allow me to start drinking again after periods when I tried to stop: easier. If he never knew I had quit, it was no problem to start again: easier.
For me, telling my husband about my drinking would have meant I would have had to say: and I am going to do something about it. I didn't like the last part of that sentence: I wanted to keep drinking.
Well, let me tell you. I never had to deal with that problem after all. I hit bottom and my drinking was so obvious that he told me I was drinking too much.
When I was prescribed antabuse it was under medical supervision at an outpatient addiction treatment center. I couldn't take the (twice a week) tablet until after I took a breath test, and I couldn't take any tablets home and try to administer them myself. The tablets were dispensed by a nurse.
My impression is that the general attitude with rehab centers is antabuse should be administered within the scope of a program and carefully monitored.
The day I started antabuse I met an addiction therapist and the next day went to my first AA meeting.
I had the option to choose antabuse and I chose it. I was a daily drinker plus a binger: my daily intake was profuse and I was ruled by my cravings. My life was also completely unmanageable and I lived for alcohol, for that reason I decided I needed antabuse to START my recovery. I did not ever see it as finish of my recovery.
I planned to stop antabuse after this phase and then I hoped AA would take over.
I stayed on antabuse for about 6 months, under the supervised conditions.
The adjustment period from the end of antabuse to a lot more involvement in my AA program has not been easy, I had a relapse last week, but I don't want to go back on antabuse and I want to work the AA program to stay sober.
A lot of people in the AA rooms have taken antabuse. Many of them took it a few times. Stopped, went back to drinking. Started. It's a common story. There are some scary stories of people who drank while taking it. People do that. (Hence the careful monitoring.) The general concensus is that antabuse can help you stop drinking, but it won't help you stay sober in the long run if you don't use a program.
I guess the best way I can help is to tell you my story. First let me run something by you to think about: antabuse can help you stop drinking but it probably won't be effective in staying sober. These are two different things: quitting drinking and staying sober.
I didn't want to tell my husband about my drinking because doing that would have made it a lot harder for me to drink. As long as I drank in secret, I could drink as much as a wanted to without getting raised eyebrows from him: easier. And, I used the secrecy to allow me to start drinking again after periods when I tried to stop: easier. If he never knew I had quit, it was no problem to start again: easier.
For me, telling my husband about my drinking would have meant I would have had to say: and I am going to do something about it. I didn't like the last part of that sentence: I wanted to keep drinking.
Well, let me tell you. I never had to deal with that problem after all. I hit bottom and my drinking was so obvious that he told me I was drinking too much.
When I was prescribed antabuse it was under medical supervision at an outpatient addiction treatment center. I couldn't take the (twice a week) tablet until after I took a breath test, and I couldn't take any tablets home and try to administer them myself. The tablets were dispensed by a nurse.
My impression is that the general attitude with rehab centers is antabuse should be administered within the scope of a program and carefully monitored.
The day I started antabuse I met an addiction therapist and the next day went to my first AA meeting.
I had the option to choose antabuse and I chose it. I was a daily drinker plus a binger: my daily intake was profuse and I was ruled by my cravings. My life was also completely unmanageable and I lived for alcohol, for that reason I decided I needed antabuse to START my recovery. I did not ever see it as finish of my recovery.
I planned to stop antabuse after this phase and then I hoped AA would take over.
I stayed on antabuse for about 6 months, under the supervised conditions.
The adjustment period from the end of antabuse to a lot more involvement in my AA program has not been easy, I had a relapse last week, but I don't want to go back on antabuse and I want to work the AA program to stay sober.
A lot of people in the AA rooms have taken antabuse. Many of them took it a few times. Stopped, went back to drinking. Started. It's a common story. There are some scary stories of people who drank while taking it. People do that. (Hence the careful monitoring.) The general concensus is that antabuse can help you stop drinking, but it won't help you stay sober in the long run if you don't use a program.
Too far from the beach
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Thanks for all your help and advise. Yes littlefish, I didn't tell my husband about my drinking because I too was not done with it. After my stint in the ER last year he warned me never to put him through that again and the he won't live like this. I could not bear to see him leave or see him hurt. The drinking in secret? I can do that anytime since he is only home a few days per week. This is not a matter of telling him or not. THat is a mute point.
However....I am going to see an addiction therapist. I willl be taking your advice since you all have some good experience and advice to share.
I found a center not far away that has 12 therapists in it and I called and just got voice mail and I am going to call back tomorrow and make an appointment. I have read a lot about antabuse and some of the stories sound the same. "good for a tool only", people commonly go of it and drink again,...drinking while taking it..etc...
I feel better today. Pretty normal. No booze for me I am tired of feeling like crap.
However....I am going to see an addiction therapist. I willl be taking your advice since you all have some good experience and advice to share.
I found a center not far away that has 12 therapists in it and I called and just got voice mail and I am going to call back tomorrow and make an appointment. I have read a lot about antabuse and some of the stories sound the same. "good for a tool only", people commonly go of it and drink again,...drinking while taking it..etc...
I feel better today. Pretty normal. No booze for me I am tired of feeling like crap.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
That's great that you are starting with an addiction therapist!
My therapist is wonderful. And, on that subject, I would make sure it is an addiction therapist and not a general mental health counselor. I have been to both and I got nowhere until I found an addiction therapist. (Just my two cents)
My approach when quitting was to try everything available first to quit and then to stay sober. I used and still use not only AA but my treatment center services: (a doctor there and my therapist).
I don't tell people AA is the only way. In the US there are secular alternatives. (Where I live there are no alternatives to AA).
Whatever the program, the most important thing is to have a program of some kind. An addiction therapist could help you with the Minnesota method, for example. (That is secular and based on the 12 steps).
On that subject, maybe you are asking yourself if you really need a program at all. Maybe you are thinking you can take the antabuse and things will work out that way? That's possible, of course.
That is something only you know. I know one person who quit drinking completely on his own. He is a self-confident, very disciplined and independent person. Being able to quit on your own boils down to what qualities you have as a person. For that reason there are lots of people here who have recovered outside of AA and with something like SR as their program.
I finally realized, and I am speaking about myself here, that I couldn't quit and stay sober without a program that included a lot of support and structure.
My therapist is wonderful. And, on that subject, I would make sure it is an addiction therapist and not a general mental health counselor. I have been to both and I got nowhere until I found an addiction therapist. (Just my two cents)
My approach when quitting was to try everything available first to quit and then to stay sober. I used and still use not only AA but my treatment center services: (a doctor there and my therapist).
I don't tell people AA is the only way. In the US there are secular alternatives. (Where I live there are no alternatives to AA).
Whatever the program, the most important thing is to have a program of some kind. An addiction therapist could help you with the Minnesota method, for example. (That is secular and based on the 12 steps).
On that subject, maybe you are asking yourself if you really need a program at all. Maybe you are thinking you can take the antabuse and things will work out that way? That's possible, of course.
That is something only you know. I know one person who quit drinking completely on his own. He is a self-confident, very disciplined and independent person. Being able to quit on your own boils down to what qualities you have as a person. For that reason there are lots of people here who have recovered outside of AA and with something like SR as their program.
I finally realized, and I am speaking about myself here, that I couldn't quit and stay sober without a program that included a lot of support and structure.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
lovein, hon would you like someone to talk to about this who not only is an alcoholic but one that knows how to get and stay sober? These folks if they do not answer will call you back the same day. Pick up the phone book and look up the AA hotline.
Now here is something VERY important for you to think about.
Do you think your husband would be more upset with you finding out you were in the emergency again or you telling him you have a problem and you are going to get help?
The one thing that kills more alcolics then any thing is secrets!
Read Kelly's first post in this thread over and over again.
Now here is something VERY important for you to think about.
Do you think your husband would be more upset with you finding out you were in the emergency again or you telling him you have a problem and you are going to get help?
The one thing that kills more alcolics then any thing is secrets!
Read Kelly's first post in this thread over and over again.
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