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am i doing the wrong thing staying away from pubs

Old 04-25-2009, 02:04 AM
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am i doing the wrong thing staying away from pubs

you see i used to like going to watch my partner play darts but now i wont go to watch her because its in a pub..i wont go to familly gatherings ,,going out to sunday lunches because its in a pub.....i feel im missing out but keeping myself safe during early recovery surley is best :praying
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Old 04-25-2009, 02:11 AM
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butch, IMO...

if you pick up a drink you might be missing out on something butch!

like, life!

yes, your doing the right thing for early recovery...

the pubs and the dart board aint gunna help keep you sober!

down the road, we dont have to run or fear booze, or being in boozy situations...

its all about motives, and freedom!

good wishes butch!
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Old 04-25-2009, 02:11 AM
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keeping myself safe during early recovery
You answered your own question.
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Old 04-25-2009, 05:32 AM
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You could also just go and drink a cola.
See how strong you are..
If it gets to much you can allways leave.
You can't hide for ever..


A minute's success pays the failure of years.
Robert Browning (1812 - 1889)
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Old 04-25-2009, 05:39 AM
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I dunno - no offence to Penny74, but I kinda think most people would find they weren't that strong Butch.

Like Zip said, down the road, we don't have fear booze or boozy situations...I think you're on the right track for right now though with being cautious and keeping yourself safe.

Early days yet. Walk before you can run.
D
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Old 04-25-2009, 07:40 AM
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I agree with Dee. However (this is just what i think) strength isn't in seeing how long you can white knuckle it in a bar, its in being true to yourself, treating yourself right (physically mentaly and spiritualy), surrounding yourself with those who make you a better person, being of service. Besides what are you going to find in the bar besides the same people, same conversations, same situations, ect.

I do attend family functions for holidays where there is alcohol, but since I quit they don't drink to get drunk, or maybe that was just me, and I find strength in being present (remebering the Holiday lol) with my family and not constantly seeking that next sip. I love everything about bars, I just don't have any business being in them. Treat yourself right (which easier said then done).
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Old 04-25-2009, 07:43 AM
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Originally Posted by penny74 View Post
You could also just go and drink a cola.
See how strong you are..
If it gets to much you can allways leave.
You can't hide for ever..


A minute's success pays the failure of years.
Robert Browning (1812 - 1889)
"see how strong you are" .......this member is 2/3 months sober.

I would strongly suggest butch that you DONT do that.....

Ive known guys test themselves and they aint back yet and it been a couple of years now.......stuck in the misery again.

Its hard at first butch but you need to tread carfully here.....sounds to me like your making some good decisions by limiting the risks.

it wont always be like that.........with time your feel more comfortable with it all.

Your doing just great..........have a great weekend..........trucker
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Old 04-25-2009, 08:01 AM
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Personally, I think what anyone else thinks about whether or not you're doing the right thing is irrelavent. The fact that you have been doing it, while remaining sober is all the proof you need to know you are doing the RIGHT thing. Occupying these places, knowing it may be a dangerous situation for you is not an indication of strength. The fact that you are able to decline the invitation in the first place, while feeling you are missing out -- is pretty strong all in its self in my opinion.

In my experience, I find the hardest part of staying sober is the opinions of others. I find many people are enablers because they just don't GET what alcohol means to people like you and I. If we have managed to stay sober for awhile, people think "hey you've been good -- you deserve it!" Or they just don't get that not drinking means NOT drinking. Chances are, you will come across a lot more of these attitudes in pubs and bars. One time when I quit drinking, I told people that I was allergic to alcohol so they wouldn't push me. If there is any certain when people are drinking, the people drinking always want to make sure EVERYONE is drinking... Even if that means at their financial expense. That is a lot of pressure, but it's up to you to decide what the RIGHT and WRONG thing is for your sobriety.
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Old 04-25-2009, 08:13 AM
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Originally Posted by penny74 View Post
You could also just go and drink a cola.
See how strong you are..
That kind of thinking, along with other factors, led up to me throwing 4 years out the window.

I was uncomfortable as hell the first time I walked into the bar to 'just' play pool and drink a Pepsi.

The second time I wasn't nearly as uncomfortable.

The third time, well...I won't go into the horror story after that.
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Old 04-25-2009, 08:24 AM
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I would also advise staying away from alcohol and pubs for a while. EArly recovery is a delicate time and you need to develop your strength. Take it easy on yourself for a while. I think you're doing the right thing protecting yourself for now.
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Old 04-25-2009, 08:44 AM
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IMO, anyone who is an alcoholic, especially in early Recovery, and goes to a bar is playing with fire. There are many who will disagree with me on this but seriously, we go to bars to drink. Yes, some go to shoot pool, some to throw darts, other to sing kareoke (sic?) but the bottom line is, you are in a bar. There are different places to shoot pool, throw darts, ect. where alcohol isn't served, but people don't go to these places because they like drinking while doing these things.

I have been in Recovery for 3 years and 9 months today and have yet to set foot in a bar. I see no reason to. If I want to shoot pool, throw darts, ect., I can go to one of the couple cleaner, upscale pool halls (for a lack of better words) to do these things.

I know so many people who went to bars, thinking they could drink a Pepsi but sooner or later, most of them ended up drinking alcohol. Why take the chance? For me, it's just not worth it.

Judy
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Old 04-25-2009, 08:56 AM
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Its been 6 years for me and I still don't go into bars, pub's or situations that i know alcohol is going to be the only thing there.
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Old 04-25-2009, 09:49 AM
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l,m sorry.
l should not have said "see how strong you are"
l should know that an alcoholic in early recovery should indeed stay away from temptation.
My sincere apologies.
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Old 04-25-2009, 10:14 AM
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thats ok penny great response once again some great replies the way im looking at it 99% of people go into pubs for one thing and thats alcohol so i wil never touch it again means i have no interest in those places anymore
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Old 04-25-2009, 11:21 AM
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I don't go to bars, because I don't drink. I don't think it's anything to 'miss out' on.. I simply have no interest in being around it, it's not part of my life anymore. Good for you for taking care of yourself, that's number one.
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