RohnertWestfiel

Hi,
I had kind of an epiphany this am... I think I have finally crossed that line where I BELIEVE I am an alcoholic. In the past there has always been that voice saying "you don't really have a problem you just need a break", and now I have a sick reaction knowing how delusional I have been in the past. Does any of this make sense. I am hoping it's not more mind tricks. I really want to be done.

Thanks for everything you guys all share and post. This is an amazing place and I'm stoked to be here!!

Toomutch

Makes perfect sense to me. It sounds as if you are coming out of denial; and that my friend is the first thing that needs to happen before we can deal with our addictions.

Dime

Ah Yeah!
That makes perfect sense to me. It is wonderful that you are beginning to believe that you actually have a problem. It is the first step to recovery. I wouldn't admit this until I almost croaked from alcohol detox so I guess I am a slow learner. The next major milestone is "Are you willing to do something about the problem?" I had enough and was willing so I did a 12 step program and drinking is just something I have no need for anymore.
Congrats!

dabears34

You found the right place! Whether it's visiting this board, spilling your guts to a friend, going to a meeting, or even talking to yourself about it out loud... take time every single day, be active daily in your desire to quit drinking. I come here and read or post for an hour or two each day, at least. It helps immensely, keeping it at the forefront of your priorities. I can feel myself wanting to drift away, and be fine without thinking about it or talking about it for a few days... and I can easily see myself rationalizing myself out of the fact that I have a problem and ending up with a drink in my hand...

RohnertWestfiel

Yes that is my main goal THIS TIME in getting sober is not going back to that I can handle it phase because that has NEVER worked and I don't want to be that person who expects different outcomes to the same actions. It's funny how my drunk head can convince my rational head of things that I would never do it any other aspect of my life... The one thing I really need to work on is forgiving myself for all the stupid stuff I did drunk. not forgetting but forgiving... Baby steps thought right haha thanks you guys this place has done a lot for me in the short time I have been here.

dedubya

you will go nowhere but down if you dont get off the runaway train. i had control (what i thought) for 20+ yrs, it will grab you and take you somewhere you dont want to go.. believe me if you dont ever believe anything i ever say - well i meant say again.... i think you got it though

tommyk

Very often I laugh at that voice in my head, it says the strangest things.

I don't think it will ever go away, I just have to be careful to NOT listen all of the time.

Glad to hear yours said something that made sense!

dingus3

i gotta say this. Ive taken pictures of myself over the past ten - eight years and I might be sober in 1% of any of them. I dont have a photo album, i have a personal and scattered scrapbook of bar tabs and boozery. What has this done for me, what have i done for myself, to myself. Ive kept up a real head trip for a long time and im lucky i have not destroyed more relationships, bridges,.... im my own casualty and for that im thankful to FINALLY admit that im an alcoholic and can not predict my future when i pick up a drink. i get that big time. thanks for sharing.